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Teen moms with multiple kids

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Okay, so it really bugs me when I see a mom with more than one child and she's not even 20 yet. You get pregnant at 15/16, still live with mom and dad, haven't finished school and have no job... So what business do you have bringing baby number 2 into the world at 17/18 within the same circumstances??

Regardless if it's planned or not (although planning it takes a whole new level of stupid), is it really fair to the child(ren) or your parents?

And then by the time you're 19 you add #3 into the mix? Okay, so maybe you don't want a huge gap between your kids... but that isn't a valid reason if you aren't 100% self-sufficient. It's selfish!
Don't even get me started on the ones who are "on/off" with their baby daddy and during one of those "on" times decide to have another.

It's really not a great idea to be a teen mom in the first place... and it's even more dumb to do it a second and third (and God forbid fourth) time.

If you're on your own and self-reliant, then great. You beat the statistics. Congrats. But generally that's not the case. Statistically, (as of 2010) 51% of teen mom's don't have a high school diploma. Most teen moms either don't go to college or recieve a college degree. So that both inhibits ones ability to find a job or find a job capable of fully supporting themselves and one child (let alone more than 1).

I am a teenage mom, I graduated high school before I got pregnant and I'm on my way to going to college and my baby's father is still here... I'm 19, I have my own place, a car and a full time job, but the thought of another kid scares the crap out of me!
I'm bringing my daughter into the world on not-so-perfect circumstances... so I owe to her to put all of my attention on her until I get fully on my feet, don't I??? Not adding another kid into the mix.

**FYI: I'm only technically going to be a teen mom for 6 months... so I'm not sure I really count?

Please note: I know not all teen moms are irresponsible, I know there are such things as "rape babies" and I know some teen moms marry their baby daddies and have more than one and all is well and good. This post does not target those moms, but come on. How many cases are really like that? 

CafeMom Tickers
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 6:27 PM
Replies (31-40):
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:05 PM

I had my first child at 16 and tried for my second and he was born when i was 18

But i didnt live at home. It was not unfair to my children 

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:07 PM

amen sister!

by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:10 PM

I was a teen mother. I had my first child at 17 and BELIEVE ME, I didn't want anymore kids. I got my ass on BC and didn't have sex until I was in a committed relationship! As in, we were going to get married. I learned my lesson and I didn't want it to happen again. It does blow my mind on how "some" teen mothers have at least 2-3 children before 19, and I am not talking about rape babies either. I went to school with a few girls who also got pregnant the same time I did and before they were 20 they had 2 kids and one on the way! I think some of them just do not care or they really want babies.

I'm 29 now and only have two children.

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:12 PM

 I agree with you views. I was a teen mom myself. 3 weeks after my 19th birthday I had my first child. And then my second at 20 (he was planned). We were married and stable and had a house. My husband was in the military and still is today. I went to nursing school, even with 2 kids and made straight As. I was fortunate enough to have parents that saved for my college tuition. I never relied on my parent's help for anything. Today at 26, I have 3 children, married for 8 years and have a college degree. We are completely debt free. We never needed public assistance, mostly thanks to the military's free insurance and entitlements like housing pay. I know I am the exception. I would gladly advocate against teen pregnancy, even though my situation was far from a struggle. I don't think teen mom's get that when they see people who actually thrived and made it. I think they are like, "hmm if she can do it, so can I", but that's not always the case.

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:17 PM
I EBF. So yeah, your blanket statements are wrong again.

Quoting notjstanothrmom:

There are big differences in people and the way they do things. I am a SAHM and I could complain about another SAHM who doesn't interact with her kids all day and doesn't do anything but yell about them but continues to have kids and stay home and not do anything. We're both SAHM's but much different in the way we do things.

I was a teen mom and I definitely don't think all teen moms are bad but having a baby that was unplanned in high school is completely different then having two or three babies. You may be stupid to get pregnant when you're not ready, yes, I thought I was invincible. I actually found out I was pregnant at the doctors getting birth control and had to have a pregnancy test done while I was there. I did not rely on my parents to support my child. I was not and have never been on birth control since that visit and I still manage to only get pregnant when I choose to. HUGE difference between getting pregnant multiple times while trying to finish high school or being a high school drop out flipping burgers while my parents pay for my kids diaper and clothes and probably formula too since she most likely didn't breastfeed.

Quoting HaleyCovington:

Quoting notjstanothrmom:

I understand it just fine. I understand that she, herself is a teen mom but wants to bitch about other teen moms. Get off your high horse. You may not have 3 kids but you are still a teen mom.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:27 PM

I agree but having a baby while a teen is just as stupid so...

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:29 PM

My response! ^_^
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 6 on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:30 PM
Seriously grow-up teen mom bashing teen moms. If your not offering help or advice shut up.
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:33 PM
Lol, yeah have you watched teen mom? Thats not glorifying... Thats embarrassing...

Quoting ndirishchic06:

I honestly think that shows like 16 and pregnant and Teen Mom are glorifying being a teen mom. A friend of mine was watching it the other day and said it made her want to have a baby, granted she's 24, but she still lives at home, dropped out of college and everything, I'm not trying to bash her by any means! It just makes me think that if those shows are gonna make a 24 year old feel that way then what about girls that are younger and maybe not quite as mature...

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:37 PM

I was 15 when I got pregnant with my first. I was 16 when I got pregnant with my second (I was raped by my husband before 4 weeks) I am 20 and pregnant with my 3rd with my new husband!!! I love my children I have supported them since they were born not anyone else. I got my GED and put my self through college and still am. My kids are healthy and happy. I am a great damn mom.

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