So Ive been talkin to this guy I used to "talk to" recently. We just make all kinda of jokes including sex ones and talk about plans on when we see eachother next. I dont wanna say we dated, but we clicked. Because he was 17 and I was 20, I couldnt let anything come serious of it. So needless to say we never slept with eachother or anything, just innocently hung out. But no one could deny that we did have a connection and he was much more mature than many 17 year olds. Obviously we both moved on, and now hes 23, and Im 26, and we have been talking again.
Well I am not a very sexual person, I can go 4 years without sex (which I have) and it doesnt bother me. I dont really masturbate, nothing. I fail miserably at trying to talk dirty even.
ANYWAYS so tonight he texts me and we casually talk about our day and he started talking a bit dirty, and it actually effected me somewhat. The thought of being physical with him, seriously turns me on, emotionally, and physically. It gives me goose bumps and kind of scares me, because like I said, Im really not a sexual person, ever. So he said "So are you going to let me go deep inside of you?" And I replied "J, why do you do this to me?!? LOL!" *told you ladies Im terrible at sexting!!lol* He said because I Love ya!
It threw me back, bc I dont play those games, but then I kind of know what he means, we do have quite a bit of a past goin on, and I do love him in a "we had good times, weve always been really good friends, thank you for always being there and meeting my emotional needs when I needed you the most" type of thing, and could easily without hesitation say "Love ya!" to him. But I dont know, I just feel (bc Im insecure) that this is turning into a sexual thing, and hes now doing what he has to do to get me in bed. And I refuse to be that person. So should I just put on my big girl panties and fuck him (with contraception, and back up of course!!) and expect not strings attached, and just go get laid, or should I just back away?