I don't buy it when a SAHM says her family can't afford for her to work *clarification*
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If your family can't afford for you to work, how in the heck can a single mom afford to do it? I find it hilarious that some of the same women claiming that they can't work are the ones criticizing those on PA. If something happens to your little slice of heaven and you end up a single mom, what are you going to do? Since supposedly you can't afford to work when you have someone else supplying money for housing, food, and etc., how could you do it without them?
My point in posting this was that a lot of the people who are criticizing people on PA are SAHMs. How in the world can a single mom do it by herself without PA? I am not bashing SAHMs, but I think it's a bit hypocritical that these same women don't work themselves.
I have been a SAHM, I have been a single (widowed) mom, I have also been the sole provider for my family and part of a two income family. I honestly have to say it was easier to provide for my family on two incomes. I am not bitter or jealous of anyone. I just question why it is that so many SAHMs are rude or judgmental towards those on PA. In my opinion it is a case of "There but for the grace of God go I."
And I forgot to mention my favorite thing about this question, which is the "what would you do if he left" part. The weird thing that I have found since becoming a SAHM is that people seem to think you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. For example, I have a BA degree, Master's degree and had a good career before becoming a SAHM and some people seem to think that I'm wasting my education because I'm not currently using it. But if I had been one of those women who always knew they wanted to be a SAHM and so they never really started a career yet or got much higher education then people would be calling me stupid for not having a back up plan. You just can't win. Personally, I don't think education is ever a waste, so I like the position I'm in, even if I never use it again. Eh, EVERYONE has an opinion about how other people's families work. So stupid.
That is a completely unfair statement. It's all about where you are and what options are available. If I were to go back to work right now, I would be stuck with a minimum wage job because in my area it is oil country. Only men get the good paying jobs. Luckily my husband is one of them, without a college education. I, however, do have a degree and years experience but in our area, my field is almost nonexistant during this oil boom. Just so I can put my opinion out there even more....I personally know 2 men that work with my husband that both make over $130k annually, that DID NOT even graduate High School. My best friend that has a BA doesnt even top $50k annually. It's not always the amount of education, but the options available to you!
Quoting CatherineNewton:
What I dont get is why everyone thinks a SHAM can only get a min wage job that just covers child care.... Really did you woman not go to college. I am sure you could get more than just a min wage job... I dont have anything against staying at home what ever but if min wage is all you can amount to go back to school.
Some women actually want to raise their children themselves and care more about that than having a lot of "stuff".I don't give a fuck about "keeping up with the Jones's" and could care less what people think about my vehicle or other posessions. Daycare would cost more than I would earn but even if it did not,I would still stay home.I know that I am lucky and single moms don't have a choice-but I do and I stay home.
And I don't buy the fact that so many people give a fuck about this subject...I mean...c'mon...REALLY!?!??
I have been 100% on my own, no child support, no pa, no nothing. I pay $475 a month for full time childcare. My child care provider does pre school in the morning and takes him to gymnastics once a week. He has learned so much since he started going there in January of this year. I think it is a matter of shopping around for daycares and not equating weekly cost with the quality of care. My childcare provider is excellent, she could easily charge upwards of $200 per week, but he doesn't. I don't make a ton of money, I pay about 1/4 of my take home pay in childcare, but I can still afford to buy him things he needs and wants. We take mini vacations, I pay for gymnastics lessons etc. I haven't worked a minimum wage job since 1995, back when it was $4.25 an hour. It is crazy to me that people who are dealing with nearly twice as much starting can't make it on their own.
Why do people have children when they only earn minimum wage? MINIMUM wages are not meant to be lived on - certainly not for a single person, much less a family. This wage is to help you get started in the work place at a young age and then you get skills, go to college/trade school and increase your earning ability.
THEN you have kids!
I think my husband's a sociopath
FIL was arrested for assaulting me