"Family" is left money after death....Guess I am not family....
- 116 Replies
My Grandfather recently passed away. He was my Mom's stepdad. My Mom has been dead since I was a child. Well...everyone alway said "You are family to him, even if it isn't by blood" But then I got nothing when he passed. It isn't about the money....it just says that I wasn't family to him like I thought. Makes me question a lot.... Makes me wonder if I dont matter/am not really considered family by the rest of them....
To those of you who have made me realize that I am just blowing this out of proportion and connecting 2 things that shouldn't be, thank you. I feel better now. He mattered to me, and I am sure I did to him. And thank you also for the condolences, we are doing okay most of the time...and hopefully 'they' are right that it gets easier with time. I am leaving this post now, because it just isn't worth arguing with the people who think I am just a money hungry piece of shit. Thanks again to those of you who offered logic/support.
Furthermore expecting anything after someone has passed is disgusting. On that my opinion will never change.
Quoting razmatazthespaz:
No it's because you can't see that this isn't about money, it's about being recognized as family, she would be on here saying the same things if instead of money it had been letters from him before he passed or something equally sentimental without monetary value.
The only thing her grandpa left was money and she was not included in sharing that last bit of her grandpa!
Grief is complex.. When my grandpa passed away everyone in the family started picking through his things, I was trying to be reapectful and didn't ask for anything, I assumed the cello would go to me since he had promised me I could have before he died. When the cello ended up with my uncle I was devistated! There was one thing my grandpa and I did together and that was he taught me to play THAT cello and he taught me about classical music! I wasn't upset that it was worth $5000, it was a piece of him that I wanted to keep close!
Half my family were just looking at the dollar signs so they thought I was too... It took almost a year to convince them that grandpa wanted me to have it....
Its not the same as straight cash, but still, if thats what's being spread around and picked apart as what he left behind to show his family he loved them, then why can't she upset that she isn't included? Why can't she just be upset that her grandpa left her out???
It's not about "I just want his money" it's about "why was i forgotten?"
Quoting hautemama83:
Yes I was born without emotions because I realize material and monetary possessions mean absolutely NOTHING when someone passes. Smh
Quoting razmatazthespaz:
I'm sorry you were born without emotions!
Op: I'm sorry, someone passing is never easy! Some sort of recognition that you meant something to him wouldve been nice! But I'm sure he loved you!
Quoting hautemama83:
Included in what?
Money doesn't equal love. Nor does it equal family. This is about boo hooing over not getting money. Plain and simple.Quoting Anonymous:Its about being included.
Quoting hautemama83:
If it wasn't about money, this post wouldn't exist.
Quoting Anonymous:Did I say I would rather have the money? I think I said it isn't even about the money....it's about the fact that I thought we WERE family the whole time...and now it makes me question how he really felt. I mean...I wasn't 'family' to him like I thought...now was I? THAT is where the issue is, not with the fucking money!
Quoting LucyMom08:I would rather have happy memories of my Papaw than money...
For what? You being ridiculous? Whatever...
Quoting Anonymous:
You are welcome.
Quoting jas_momof2:Oh please...
Quoting Anonymous:
She can find symbolism in that if she wants. You are not in her family or shoes to judge.
Quoting jas_momof2:You're making it about money by associating the fact that you didn't get anything with being loved... Stop associating the two and move on...
Quoting Anonymous:before I posted this, I knew everyone would think this....if it was about money, I'd just take stuff out of his house and sell it....it isn't about the money. Oh well. Thanks for the 'support'.
Quoting myhandsomelove:
Maybe he felt you were doing good and didn't need it...just because he didn't leave you anything does not mean he didn't love you...i know you said that you don't care about the money but complaining that you didn't get anything says other wise....
lol, ok no i didn't see that....
but still, hope and expectation are two different things, expecting a gift is bad, hoping for one is understandable!
Quoting hautemama83:
Did you even read the post? She wasn't the only one "left out" ALL the grandchildren were. He gave his possessions to his living children and that was it. Your point would be valid if that wasn't the case.
Furthermore expecting anything after someone has passed is disgusting. On that my opinion will never change.
Quoting razmatazthespaz:
No it's because you can't see that this isn't about money, it's about being recognized as family, she would be on here saying the same things if instead of money it had been letters from him before he passed or something equally sentimental without monetary value.
The only thing her grandpa left was money and she was not included in sharing that last bit of her grandpa!
Grief is complex.. When my grandpa passed away everyone in the family started picking through his things, I was trying to be reapectful and didn't ask for anything, I assumed the cello would go to me since he had promised me I could have before he died. When the cello ended up with my uncle I was devistated! There was one thing my grandpa and I did together and that was he taught me to play THAT cello and he taught me about classical music! I wasn't upset that it was worth $5000, it was a piece of him that I wanted to keep close!
Half my family were just looking at the dollar signs so they thought I was too... It took almost a year to convince them that grandpa wanted me to have it....
Its not the same as straight cash, but still, if thats what's being spread around and picked apart as what he left behind to show his family he loved them, then why can't she upset that she isn't included? Why can't she just be upset that her grandpa left her out???
It's not about "I just want his money" it's about "why was i forgotten?"
Quoting hautemama83:
Yes I was born without emotions because I realize material and monetary possessions mean absolutely NOTHING when someone passes. Smh
Quoting razmatazthespaz:
I'm sorry you were born without emotions!
Op: I'm sorry, someone passing is never easy! Some sort of recognition that you meant something to him wouldve been nice! But I'm sure he loved you!
Quoting hautemama83:
Included in what?
Money doesn't equal love. Nor does it equal family. This is about boo hooing over not getting money. Plain and simple.Quoting Anonymous:
Its about being included.
Quoting hautemama83:
If it wasn't about money, this post wouldn't exist.
Quoting Anonymous:
Did I say I would rather have the money? I think I said it isn't even about the money....it's about the fact that I thought we WERE family the whole time...and now it makes me question how he really felt. I mean...I wasn't 'family' to him like I thought...now was I? THAT is where the issue is, not with the fucking money!
Quoting LucyMom08:
I would rather have happy memories of my Papaw than money...
Quoting razmatazthespaz:
you have it right, it is about being left out. I dint expect anything...but i didnt realize that i would be left out of it. It has all been hard...and it was just today that i found out i was really left out of all of it.
leaving baby alone while i do laundry?