My dh is livid because *I* effed up. *eta

[Anonymous]

This is gonna be our first father's day together
Anyway, I bought my ex (on behalf of the kids, we have 2 together) a watch & a couple of polo shirts...his favorite for fd. I spent just under $100 not an outrageous amount right?

WRONG. Dh flipped when I showed him the receipts (because he wanted to see them) and told me to never "do that stupid shit again, especially for that dickhead."

I think he's jealous because HE'S not a dad. Nothing I can do about that, buddy. Besides I spend MY money however the fuck I want.


Am I right or am I right?

*eta
I can't believe how many of you are making this such a big deal. Dh did get s baseball glove, bat & jersey . Granted, those were bday gifts (his bday was yesterday) so it's not like he's left out. I honestly don't see why he would get a strictly fattr's day gift. He's NOT THEIR DAD & we've only been.married 10 months. My girls are 10 & 13, not babies. That's hardly enough time to establish a step dad/ step kids bond.

THE GIRLS CHOSE THOSE GIFTS FOR THEIR DAD. I obviously provided the money. And please, don't tell me I spent way too much. $100 may be a lot to you but NOT for me. Why is that so difficult to understand? You women are hilarious to think that just because I remarried, the girls should downsize on what they get their dad. And, it's funny how only a handful of you noticed that dh namecalling ex was utterly disrespectful, for the kids sake. I definately see a double standard.here.

Dh and I talked, after we both piped down and now he sees that he overreacted and apologized.

[twinmommy27]

So if you were divorced from your children's father and met a new man..you'd tell your children, sorry guys, I don't like your dad anymore so you have to now pick cheap gifts? $100 bucks isn't that much!

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting twinmommy27:

Where did I say he needed a gift. She shouldn't have spent all that money on an EX she should have given the kids a small amout of money each to buy a card and a small gift. Its fricken ridiculous!

[MahgonayMom]

Maybe the question should be "Am I insensitive towards my husband?"

Regardless of the amount, regardless of the fact that he's not their father - you should have discussed this with him and agreed on an amount or allow the kids to earn the money and they spend THEIR money (seeing it's their father, not your husband nor your father - since he's not their father!). You may also want to check on if you are hindering the bond you may want as him being a stepFATHER! 

[emt088]

You likely wont change your opinion, and I wont change mine so in short, Im on your current DHs side on this argument. I wouldve been livid as well

[Anonymous]

Quoting twinmommy27:

Are you one of those greedy women who can't appreciate a simple gift from their child? Real parents don't need expensive gifts from their KIDS

[2012ArmyMom]

Actually that is totally your business.  All people are different with their choices. 

[baileymarie723]

How long were you and your DH together before you got married? It doesn't take a marriage for a man to bond with his girlfriends child(ren). If I was you I would prefer to have the man I am with and my child(ren) to have some kind of bond BEFORE I got married, but I'm not you. I have been with my DF for 4 years, and he has bonded with my DD for at least 3 out of the 4. I think $100 is a bit extreme for you to spend yourself, but if your kids got an allowance and pooled their money together to get their dad something than $100 would be fine. I may have this opinion because when my parents divorced my mom told my sister and I that if we wanted to give our dad something for father's day we had to do it with our own money, and flat out told us it was because they weren't together anymore and she wasn't going to spend her money on her ex husband, but had they still been together it would be different. I do agree with you though that your DH calling your kids dad a dickhead was out of line.

[twinmommy27]

The point is not the cost! The point is keeping as many things as possible normal for the kids. If the kids got dad the same things every year for fathers day, they should be able to continue doing these things regardless of moms new husbands feelings!
It's hard enough for the kids as it is, why would you make the fact that mommy and daddy are not together and mom has a new husband even harder on them??

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting twinmommy27:

Are you one of those greedy women who can't appreciate a simple gift from their child? Real parents don't need expensive gifts from their KIDS

[Anonymous]

Quoting twinmommy27:

It is about cost because the gifts should be from the kids not from mom. Its fathers day not ex husband day.

[twinmommy27]

Only to people who don't have it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting twinmommy27:

It is about cost because the gifts should be from the kids not from mom. Its fathers day not ex husband day.

[Anonymous]

Quoting twinmommy27:

Nope only for shitty parents who don't raise their kids with the concept that its the thought that counts.