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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

how to encourage teen not to get pregnant

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:01 AM
  • 33 Replies

Ok, so this isn't a confession. I just want a great deal of input. Any advice is appreciated.

I have been tutoring a girl, a very bright, wonderful person, for a couple years. We are much closer now and she confides so much in me. She wants to purposefully have a baby in high school as a teenager. This girl, with determination, can certainly make it to college. Her home life is less than ideal, unsupportive, verbally abusive, and is essentially ignored. I even think her Mom puts her down bc she is afraid she will go to college, leave her, and then won't have someone around the house to do the chores. On top of all of that she routinely babysits a baby overnight, many days in a row and handles it well. She loves it even because it is pretty much the only love she feels is from that baby.

What can I do/say to encourage her not to get pregnant in high school? If you chose to get pregnant in high school, what could have been said to you to change your mind? (Please don't mention that it's too much work. She takes care of a baby for days on end and even sleeps in the same room with her. She doesn't mind all of the baby work.)

Thank you for reading and any suggestions you may have.



I don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlights begin; it's all a mystery.

by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:03 AM
Slip her bc in cookies or something.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:05 AM
1 mom liked this
Give her a reality check. Have her family kick her out no house no job no means of supporting herself let alone a baby a week should clear her up
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:06 AM

It's trashy, going to ruin her life, etc. tell her to get counseling instead of seeking affection from babies.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:07 AM
If she doesn't feel loved by her family tell her imagine that on top of another person they have to make feel unloved in the family
Ultra_
by Platinum Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:08 AM
2 moms liked this

I'm of no help. I graduated three months pregnan, but my life turned out awesome. We had rough patches, but everyone does. We beat all stats in every category. It sucks because I definitley do not think kids should do what I did, but how can I say that when everything is so awesome? I can't say, you won't stay with him, because we did. I can't say, you'll never get to do what you want, because I have. I can't say, you'll never get anything nice, because I have. :/ The only thing I can say is, not everyone ends up like me. That doesn't even work, because of course, if it does happen, I hope they do have a wonderful life like me. *sigh* IDK. Late night ramblings of a tired person. Lol.


amberbrianne
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:09 AM

I got pregnant in high school, but honestly I don't know if anything anyone said would have stopped me, I was pretty stubborn. What does she want to be when she grows up? Maybe keep talking about her future and how succesful she can be, get her excited about the future. Also what would have helped me was to get involved in a church group, maybe she can get involved in something like that?

GirlWSlingshot
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:09 AM
Make a math lesson about how much diapers cost in the first year. I don't know how much you can do beyond encouraging her to love herself and her unborn children enough to build a happy and healthy life before bringing them into the world. Out would besad for her to put an innocent baby into the same unhappy home life she was cursed with.
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ShannonRoth
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:10 AM
1 mom liked this
Having a child when you're a teen is selfish. You are capable of loving your child, but your brain is not completely developed and it limits the opportunities mother and child will have.

Most young girls intentionally get pregnant are from neglectful homes and just want someone to love them. They put incredible pressure on an infant to fill a need they have. It's backwards.
GunnysMommy
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:13 AM
1 mom liked this
I had a friend who sat her teen down and discussed the risks of unprotected sex (including pics of some STDs) and then showed how much money a month you make if you make minimum wage and then went through the costs of raising a baby. At the end she asked if they felt they could give that child all they would want to (both financially and emotionally) if they are working themselves to death in a deadend low paying job. The answer was no, and they have had no further issues.
ripemango
by Platinum Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:19 AM
1 mom liked this

no, I like your honesty. I also think that if there is some1 for whom it could all work out it is her. I just want it easy for her, kwim? I also know it will be a struggle for her to go to college, but think she could do it if that is her only real obligation. Reading some of the replies already has got me to thinking about how it's wrong/selfish that she wants to do this bc she herself does not experience love in her life.

I really like what one of the Anons said about imagine 'that on top of another person they have to make feel unloved in the family'. That kind of hits home. DH was talking to me tonight about her and he was like well how would it make her feel when they start calling her child a POS and a dumbass. 

Thank you for replying Ultra, as well as the others. It is certainly getting me to thinking :)

Quoting Ultra_:

I'm of no help. I graduated three months pregnan, but my life turned out awesome. We had rough patches, but everyone does. We beat all stats in every category. It sucks because I definitley do not think kids should do what I did, but how can I say that when everything is so awesome? I can't say, you won't stay with him, because we did. I can't say, you'll never get to do what you want, because I have. I can't say, you'll never get anything nice, because I have. :/ The only thing I can say is, not everyone ends up like me. That doesn't even work, because of course, if it does happen, I hope they do have a wonderful life like me. *sigh* IDK. Late night ramblings of a tired person. Lol.



I don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlights begin; it's all a mystery.

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