Ok, so this isn't a confession. I just want a great deal of input. Any advice is appreciated.
I have been tutoring a girl, a very bright, wonderful person, for a couple years. We are much closer now and she confides so much in me. She wants to purposefully have a baby in high school as a teenager. This girl, with determination, can certainly make it to college. Her home life is less than ideal, unsupportive, verbally abusive, and is essentially ignored. I even think her Mom puts her down bc she is afraid she will go to college, leave her, and then won't have someone around the house to do the chores. On top of all of that she routinely babysits a baby overnight, many days in a row and handles it well. She loves it even because it is pretty much the only love she feels is from that baby.
What can I do/say to encourage her not to get pregnant in high school? If you chose to get pregnant in high school, what could have been said to you to change your mind? (Please don't mention that it's too much work. She takes care of a baby for days on end and even sleeps in the same room with her. She doesn't mind all of the baby work.)
Thank you for reading and any suggestions you may have.
I don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlights begin; it's all a mystery.
Yea I am re-experiencing my teen life and embarrassing my children but I'm having fun for once lol. Cambria is the town I grew up in and still deeply miss. It's on the coast of California
Quoting ripemango:
That's great Cambria, congrats on your BA!
ITA I want her to experience teen life. You learn from all them. I know for me I thought certain things made perfect sense. I look back now and wonder how I made it out alive of some of my 'experiences'. Wisdom really does come with age.
Thank you for replying, Cambria. (I love that name, btw)
Quoting Cambriagurlmom:
I would tell her to live her life and make plenty of lifelong friends in college. I had my son at 13 and even with family support I'm just now starting my BA at 27. She needs to have a teenage life and not miss the learning experiences.
Glad to hear you are having fun and hey, a part of having kids is getting to embarrass them :p
I have never been to California, but will one day....I just know it! I'm going to go google that town now. Maybe one day I will see your lovely Cambria :)
Quoting Cambriagurlmom:Yea I am re-experiencing my teen life and embarrassing my children but I'm having fun for once lol. Cambria is the town I grew up in and still deeply miss. It's on the coast of California
Quoting ripemango:
That's great Cambria, congrats on your BA!
ITA I want her to experience teen life. You learn from all them. I know for me I thought certain things made perfect sense. I look back now and wonder how I made it out alive of some of my 'experiences'. Wisdom really does come with age.
Thank you for replying, Cambria. (I love that name, btw)
Quoting Cambriagurlmom:
I would tell her to live her life and make plenty of lifelong friends in college. I had my son at 13 and even with family support I'm just now starting my BA at 27. She needs to have a teenage life and not miss the learning experiences.
I don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlights begin; it's all a mystery.
Quoting ripemango:i hope you don't mind, but could i show her this word for word?
Quoting milfanyway:
I got pregnant at eighteen, and had two kids by twenty one. I wouldn't trade them for the world, but I definitely wouldn't encourage that path for anyone. Being broke, young, and uneducated is a hopeless feeling. It's taken me until now, at twenty five, to be able to give my kids a decent life. Clothes that they are the first to wear, toys that they want instead of whatever was at a yard sale, a home with a yard and non felon neighbors. Whats the worst of it is not the nights I went hungry, our the weeks I worked seventy hours and didnt see my boys at all, it was the realization that they deserved better. Tell her that she will make an amazing mother, but that being that amazing mother means putting their needs first. And that means waiting until she is self sufficient and independent.
I think my husband's a sociopath
- ripemango
on Jun. 20, 2012 at 5:01 AM