Should SM's have any say in their skids schedules, visitation, etc?
**OK ladies, this post is a fascinating study on double standards. These are direct quotes from a post today regarding a SM who wants time with her stepkids even though dad won't be there:
Visitation is for him, not you. I think you could get in very big trouble for this.
What are you going to do if something happens and one or both of the children need medical care?? You, as the step paren really have no say in the medical care.
judges don't like this type of nonsense and are not supportive of over stepping steps..
if something happens to the children, you have NO rights to make medical decisions for them
They aren't your kids
You are not there mother and you have no legal rights.
I don't know the situation but coparenting needs to be one of trust even with the step parents
It's DAD's time with them
What are you going to do is one of the gets sick or hurt? You aren't allowed to make medical decisions for them.
.now go take care of YOUR kid.
Well guess what, they don't have the option to just "not deal" with the BM. It's her fucking children
I would be pissed if I found out my ex's wife was taking my kids for visitation when ex wasn't there.
you are no one to these children
They're not your kids, too. They're your stepkids.
News flash, they are NOT your kids.
The general consensus in that post was that SM was NOT the mom and she should NEVER, EVER forget thtat, SM has no rights to the kids, visitation is for DAD and if dad is not there then the kids should be with BM.
**Now here are some direct quotes from a post made yesterday about a SM who was not involved in the decision between the bioparents that SM was going to have to rearrange her entire schedule, including her job schedule, to watch the stepkids while dad was at work and mom stayed home to rest and vacation (mom has no job and is a SAHM)
Those are SOs children. They have the right to be at that house.
My So would not put up with that from me as I treat his daugther as if she was mine
I understand he's not there to help with the child care, but I'm assuming he's not there because he's workin hard to help support you and your children
I think you should integrate them into your life as family
You should consider them your own
When you married him they became your kids too.
General consensus of that post? SM should treat the children as her own, hell THEY ARE HER OWN according to one poster. Even if dad is not there the skids have the "right" to be there, SM needs to treat the kids like her family, and if dad is out working to support the family then SM is obligated to watch the kids during his visitation.
Now it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand and appreciate the plethora of double standards between these two posts.
It seems the overriding consensus among BM's is that the skids are not SM's and SM needs to remember "her place" and remember she has no rights to the children. And dad can only have visitation if he is home, if he's working he must give the kids back to BM. Unless...................BM needs a sitter or favor. At that point SM is to consider the children her own, she is obligated to them, she has a responsibility to them. Until.....BM no longer needs a favor at which point SM is to disappear back into the woodwork until BM needs another favor.
And if SM does not go along with all these idiotic double standards she is evil, selfish, disgusting, a bitch and deserves to be divorced and left penniless.
If there are any Psychology or Sociology students or professionals reading this I have to tell you, this is a FASCINATING study in aberrent social patterns among biological mothers.
It's very dear to me, the issue of gay marriage. Or, as I like to call it: 'marriage'. You know, because I had lunch this afternoon, not gay lunch. I parked my car, I didn't gay park it."