crying at the ob slight update dh called :*( 6/29 update
Dh wants me to get an abortion. He has been relentlessly trying to make me see that its for the best. ( in his opinion ) here I am at my first ob appointment alone. I am tearing up because all these women have the fathers of their children around and here I am...alone. no support, no comfort. I just want to run out of the office ashamed because I am miserable when I should be happy.
Update ...since I have no one to share any of this with ill tell all of u. I'm in a room now they handed me. Folder full of things to do when pregnant and pictures of babies development step by step...had to close that I almost cried ...I'm sitting here in this little papergown waiti,ng for the Dr. They will be doing a ultrasound to get an exact due date and see how far along I am. I pray I'm over six weeks because dh believes after six weeks
abortion is wrong
Dh called ...when I told him I'd find out more info once the Dr came in he said " what else it to know! ?? Your pregnant OK that's all we need to know...aw don't even know if we r keeping it so why does it matter what else the Dr says. When. R u getting out I'm sick of ur damn mood swings I don't know weather to talk to u or let u do this all by itself! I'm over here trying g to get shit taken care of n get ur truck fixed n ur ...just call me when u get out of ur damn drs appointment." N he hung up.
i just got home from the drs office i have to go again at 2:30 for an ultrasound..i went to the restroom and there is blood. dark red blood a good amount whenever i wipe.. is this from a pelic exame ( just had one two days ago no blood at all ) and again i had a pelvic done and hnow i have blood and cramping. wtf
6/29 update i went to my ultrasound ( alone) and they couldn't find a heartbeat. the dr said they will try again next week to see if the pregnancy is viable. DH has still given me some hell, though he has mostly left me alone about terminating the pregnancy other then to ask what i decided to do every few days. He has mostly become distant and angry with me. he has shown no affection towards me at all and has said that this will be the end of us because of me. he continues to have no patients for my moods or me at all constantly yelling at me and making it out that im at fault for everything. i will be going to the drs again next week to check and see if the baby is ok, im sure hes not happy about this but it is what it is. i do still feel great pressure from him to abort ( even woth him not talking about it as much, and at this moment i am completely dependent on him ( truck broke today...just my luck) and i have no money because my job covers my daycare ( was getting money for daycare trough my financial aid but they decided i no longer work or am in school, though i am a full time student and working 5 days a week, so im working on getting this error fixed. but right now i am dependent on him entirely for everything (i hate that feeling) i am currently sitting at home with dd. he came home was nasty to me took a shower got all dressed nice and went to a" customers house" to look and see if he was taking on the project... i dont think i by that being hes a mechanic and to look at the engine he would get somewhat dirty and also he has NEVER dressed up to go to look at an engine for a customer. sorry im rambleing its been a rough day and im pretty upset about everything. i will update again when i knw something else on the baby. thanks ladies for the support.