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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm pretty sure I'm filing for divorce... Update

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 58 Replies
And I'm scared. I love my DH, but he's verbally abusive, and has no respect for me. He has hurt me too many times and I'm fed up. If I knew he would change and try really hard to work things out, I would be more than willing to do whatever it takes, but I know he won't. He will apologize for calling me names and saying nasty things to me after he's not mad anymore, and say he knows he needs to change and then turn around and do it again a few days later. I joined a divorce support group online, and I went and got a safe tonight and I'm going to start saving up money in case I end up single. I have $1600 right now, but that's not enough if I'm gonna be on my own. Please tell me he will change. I'm in denial.

Update 6/25
So, I found out he lied to me about something really stupid. I have got on his case several times about his spending. He constantly stops and buys stuff before work or during his lunch break, even though I buy plenty of stuff for lunches. I buy his favorite lunch meats, bread, good cheese and soda or gatorade and even offer to pack it for him 99% of the time (unless I forget to). He promised he would stop doing that all the time. I asked if he would cut down to once a week and he agreed. Well, yesterday morning he went out and got donuts at the gas station and two bottles of chocolate milk, the day before that he went and got a case of beer, and the day before that, he got McDonald's. I printed out the bank statement from last month, highlighted all the money he has spent just on fast food and gas station junk, and it was like $140 in one month! Anyway, last night I asked if he was going to make sure he brought leftovers (we grilled pork chops and hot dogs) and be said he would make sure he did. Then this morning I asked if he remembered a lunch and he said he already made a sandwich and said bye. After he left, I went downstairs into the kitchen and checked the bread load and it was still brand new and unopened. He lied! Why our to me about something so stupid! I even offered to make his lunch last night! He's a compulsive lair about stupid crap. This is why I don't trust him. He has lied about so many things. I'm so sick of it. It may sound petty to some of you, but when you have had problems in the part with lying, every little lie is like a stab in the heart :(
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
iluv2meow
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:48 AM
1 mom liked this

he will change. You are in denial.

kcangel63
by Freebirther on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:48 AM
1 mom liked this
If he doesn't want to change, he won't.

Sometimes it takes losing everything to make that change happen. Other times, they still won't.

Good luck and HUGS.
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xoch86
by Gold Member on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:48 AM
I wish I could tell u that ur in denial.. Bt oly u know how, and ur situation.. Have u tried counseling?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:50 AM
what kind of things does he say to you if you dont mind me asking? maybe ask him to go to counseling?
ndirishchic06
by on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:50 AM
People never change, they'll only adapt to a certain situation for a period of time.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:50 AM

have you 2 tried counselling; I know it sounds like a cop-out but maybe he needs help changing, maybe he doesn't know how to change.

I think you are a level headed person to see whats not working; if he isn't willing to get help with his issues then yes you have every right to leave, you deserve a man who treats you like a queen. does he know you are considering leaving?

lovelove211
by Platinum Member on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:51 AM
Hugs
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:52 AM
We haven't tried counseling, but I made phone calls yesterday to get my own counselor because I need someone to talk to. He said he would do marriage counseling as a last resort, but then when I seriously suggest it and tell him we have to, he tells me he's too uncomfortable with sharing his business with a stranger. I've suggested he get counseling on his own for his temper and abuse issues, but he won't. He says it won't help.


Quoting xoch86:

I wish I could tell u that ur in denial.. Bt oly u know how, and ur situation.. Have u tried counseling?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:52 AM
Are we married to the sane man???? I'm fixing to file for this reason and more
mommysangelface
by Emerald Member on Jun. 22, 2012 at 12:53 AM

hes not going to change im sorry

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