anyone have a husband/so that is disabled?

[Anonymous]

how do you get past being a caretaker and be a wife/lover etc. again? i feel more like his mom than anything. it's hard to see him as my big strong man now. Im pregnant and need a little help, and definitely will after baby is born too, and Im feeling slightly resentful. i hate that i feel this way but i can't help it. our relationship is going downhill fast. is there a group here for this?

[lachiche]

There is a marriage group

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

bump

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

geez. do i need to make it a drama post and say i am leaving him for something he can't help?

[jas_momof2]

I don't think you need to make a drama post - just keep in mind the majority in this group are young with young healthy so's...

[jas_momof2]

There was a post in NC about it...  Maybe read through it add to it?  Talk to some there?

http://www.cafemom.com/group/416/forums/read/16782935/Moms_with_disabled_DH_SOs

[LucyHarper]

Technically yes, but it doesn't keep him from doing anything. He has healed skin graphs from third degree burns on his arms and part of one side of his back, because of it he has to take a pain medication and most clothing is uncomfortable, but he manages it and it hasn't ever stopped him from doing anything. He also has some heart and lung damage that just needs to be monitored, but hes alright.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

true. we are in our early 30s. i have seen a few here talking about this. ..maybe I'll try other groups

Quoting jas_momof2:

I don't think you need to make a drama post - just keep in mind the majority in this group are young with young healthy so's...

[TurtleSquish]

YES, my wife is disabled. her spine is degenerating and she has a few conditions like anxiety and agoraphobia. For a while, I felt like you do. Like all of a sudden, I have a child to take care of. Finally, I laid out her responsibilities, which are while I'm working to do the dishes, eat, and clean one room a day. I help her with the rest of the stuff around the house, but she gets up and helps me when I ask her to. If she doesn't, we have a long talk. If she CAN'T, i take care of her. Lucky her flair ups are few but her back is in constant pain and some days she can't walk. it is give and take.

[TurtleSquish]

young doesn't mean healthy. i'm 24 and have tons of health issues. my wife is 24 and has health issues and is actually disabled. OP's post really caught my eye.

Quoting Anonymous:

true. we are in our early 30s. i have seen a few here talking about this. ..maybe I'll try other groups

Quoting jas_momof2:

I don't think you need to make a drama post - just keep in mind the majority in this group are young with young healthy so's...

[sheramom4]

My DH is a disabled veteran. He has PTSD, depression, lung damage, a brain injury, orthopedic issues and vertigo. And there are moments where I feel like I have a 5th child instead of a spouse. He is limited in what he can do and help with. I monitor meds, appointments, household finances, the majority of everything related to his and the kids' care etc.

Do you have respite care available to you? It is a great service if you qualify. It allows you to get some time for you and also to get some help.