how much is too much?

[Anonymous]

My bff is more like a sister to me than my own sister. We've been friends for 20+ years, and now that we live in different states, we make a point to visit as much as possible. Our kids are friends, our dhs are friends, even our moms are friends. Recently, her husband was dianosed with lymphoma. They don't have insurance and don't qualify for medicaid. There are some programs to help them, but the medical costs are still more than they can afford.

I can afford them.

We would have very little left in savings if I paid for his treatment and dh doesn't want to do it. I think it's worth it, though. I can't imagine her losing her husband if there was something I could do about it. Would you go against your dh's wishes to help someone you love, or would you worry about your own family?

[jandyrodax]

I would put my own family first, BUT, IF I could afford it and I knew it would NOT hurt my own family financially as in put us in a bind then I'd absolutely help. 

ETA: Does your husband say why he doesn't want to do it? 

[areyouatroll]

Tough question. Is there any way you could give them *some* money, enough so they could get a big enough loan to cover medical cost? the Money usually has to sit in their account for 90 days before its considered 'theirs'.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

We wouldn't be in a bind, we make enough to cover our bills, we just wouldn't have much of a security blanket. Dh thinks it's too much money that we've worked a long time for to give away. He thinks they'll be able to find a way to pay for it.

Quoting jandyrodax:

I would put my own family first, BUT, IF I could afford it and I knew it would NOT hurt my own family financially as in put us in a bind then I'd absolutely help. 

ETA: Does your husband say why he doesn't want to do it? 

[southern_girl3]

i would put my family first. i know that you love these people, but there are surely other things that they can figure out. you need to think of ur family first.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

It honestly just occured to me that we could pay for one treatment at a time until maybe they can find another way. That's a good idea.

Quoting areyouatroll:

Tough question. Is there any way you could give them *some* money, enough so they could get a big enough loan to cover medical cost? the Money usually has to sit in their account for 90 days before its considered 'theirs'.

[areyouatroll]

we are lookin into starting a business so I'm ' money minded ' right now.

Also, there are a lot of charities (even online ones), fundraisers, etc.. to look into. your time *could* be more valuable than your money right now. Just look at the bullied bus monitor story.

Quoting Anonymous:

It honestly just occured to me that we could pay for one treatment at a time until maybe they can find another way. That's a good idea.

Quoting areyouatroll:

Tough question. Is there any way you could give them *some* money, enough so they could get a big enough loan to cover medical cost? the Money usually has to sit in their account for 90 days before its considered 'theirs'.