My husband always refused sex before we got married. He was awkward with me and never initiated it unless drunk. I always wanted to do it but he acted shy, awkward and had no sex drive.
Well we broke up 4 years ago for a short period (before we married) and when I made a surprise stop at his house I found a used condom on his floor and a bunch in his drawer. He admitted to sleeping with at least 3 people during our break up (legitimate break up considering I had a new boyfriend too. We broke up for 6 months)
Well that obviously stung. I always remembered him rejecting me but then to see he slept with a few whores after we broke up pissed me off. But when we reunited our sex life was beyond active. He apologized for never wanting to have sex, said he's so into me, etc. We had sex a lot... Until I got pregnant. Then the sex stopped COMPLETELY. it got awkward all over again.
Now I am to the point that I don't even wanna do it with him. He made it so awkward for me that I am turned off. Maybe I am still deep down hurt about him denying me all those years but sleeping with whores?
He recently had nerve to bitch at me that he is sick of us never being intimate and it's not normal and he wishes we would have sex (funny how the tables turn). Well believe me, I want to have sex so bad. I get in the mood all the time. But I have lost the desire with him.
What do I do? I love him and wouldnt want to ever end my marriage but I have been fantasizing about other men I know and my husband and I are getting more and more distant by the day. Like brother and sister :(