i think my SO might be gay...

[Anonymous]

we have 2 kids and have been together for almost 8 yrs. we had sex all the time when we first got together. but only for like the first 2 or 3 weeks. after i found out i was pregnant it slowed down quite a bit. well... we have gone over a year without having sex b4. i know, its shocking and pathetic. ok, ur thinking, "hes probably cheating", right? well, when hes not at work, hes home, and vice versa. as a matter of fact, i wish he would go out with friends or do something other than stay here all the time. theres so much tension from the sex thing, i get tired of being around him. we're like roommates that happen to have children together. also, hes somewhat of a homophobe, and that raises yet another flag. HE'S 28 FOR GODS SAKE!!! what 28 yr old man doesnt wanna have sex?! and this has been an issue for years! and im not like repulsive or anything. at least i dont think i am. im sick of wondering "whats wrong with me?" so, shed some light people. i need an outside perspective. btw,,, my baby is almost 4 months old and we havnt done it sense early august of last year. im sure i already know what everyone will say, but i still wanna hear it.

[NDADanceMom]

What does he say?  Its hard to know.  

[Anonymous]

why are you assuming he is gay???  Is he like watching gay porn? have you caught him looking at other men? I dont think hes gay I think that he is just not into you ....sorry

[MyraEllen]

I dated a guy in college, he dinged my gaydar soooo bad. But he wanted sex all the time, it was like he was overcompensating. There were a bunch of other reasons I thought he was, but that's the only example that relates to your post.

Maybe he's depressed or something?

[Superlaura328]

Awww, I'm sorry, mama. There can be a number of reasons why he is disinterested in sex, though. And being a homophobe doesn't neccesarily mean he's gay either (but it does make him kind of an asshole. Just my opinion). And it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you either!

Let me ask this, did he ever have "performance" issues? Some young guys do (my DH is 30 and he does sometimes). It makes him very insecure, and then he won't want to have sex for a long time - not because he doesn't want to, but because he is embarassed.

I hope you can work it out!

[Robin_TripleA]

Spice things up a bit. Dress sexier. Good luck

[..MoonShine..]

Have you tried talking to him about it? If you don't, nothing will get resolved and you will continue to be miserable. Don't jump to conclusions until you actually talk to him.

[vale131]

This is definitely a conversation to have to him. 8 years is a long time to be with someone and still have sex all the time unless both of you are putting in the effort, like if he buys you sexy lingerie or if you go the extra mile to woo him. Nothing about what you said screams gay to me at all. Sometimes a man loses interest after baby too - unfortunately.

[cassie19831]

Just because he doesn't have sex doesn't mean he's gay. That's just ridiculous. There are more reasons. You need to communicate more and talk it out. Get to what is wrong.

[TygerLily62]

So is your inly indication that he might be gay the fact that he's a homophobe?

[hehehe]

only HE can tell you what's going on. We can speculate and get you worried ALL day. Doesn't mean anyone on here has ANY insight.