Why is it????

[Anonymous]

America is one of the few countries where it is looked down upon for family to move in with you? We put our elders in a home insted of taking care of them. What is wrong with America? My mil is about to move in with us and everyone acts like its the end of the world. I don't think it is. I feel we should care for our elders not send them to homes when they can't care for themselves. In our case it's financial but even health reasions. It gets under my skin. America needs to stop putting our elders aside like they are just something we can throw away. I understand if health wise you can't care for them but assisted living. Come on they can do assisted living in your home.

[Sekirei]

Eh, my mother told me to stick her in a home... We will cross that bridge when we come to it though.

However, my father is going to a home.....no choice there, unless my sister feels bad enough to take him in

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Well medical I can understand. I am honstly lucky I get along great with my mil. So her moving in with us won't be a problem for us.

Quoting pampire:

Some elders need more care than can realistically be given at home, but mostly I think people jsut don't want to make teh adjustment.  I'd never put my mom in a home if I was capable of caring for her at home. I also don't think there should be a stigma on adults living with other adult family members.  If it makes sense for your family and everyone can get along, do it and don't bother what outsiders say.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

In that case respect what your parents want. I seen nothing wrong with that.

Quoting KelliansMom:

My parents have told my siblings and I many times what they want. They don't want to come live with us they want to move to a retirement community and grow old there then if they have medical issues they want to go to a good nursing home that is near one of us. I will do my best to respect their wishes.

[ashbrydio]

Yep

Quoting AnastasiaKorsh:

Depends on the kind of care they need. If they have problems that nurses have a better way of dealing with, I would put my mom in a home. If it was just a matter of issues I could care for at home, I'd be more than happy to take my mom in.





....but I'm not from America.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I am not trying to be disrespectful to you I am sorry if it came across that way. I was only putting out my view point. But from what you are saying she needs to be in a home. I am sorry to say that and I know that is hard to do but ya need to look out for your little ones too. I wish you the best of luck.

Quoting mamaclairbear:

Some days yes I would rather be in debt. I believe the same as you that family takes care of family which is WHY I am doing just that. However I'm going to guess you haven't been in the situation where you actually have to do it yet. This is one of those things that it is much easier to say than do.

My mom is bipolar and has a bunch of other physical problems on top of that. I have been taking care of her for almost 3 years now. I'm 23. Come back and talk to me with your WONDERFUL rightous indignation when you are going to get evicted because your mom stole your debit card and spent all of the rent money. Or when your mom poops and pees on your couch because she refuses to wear an adult diaper even though she can't control her bodily functions.

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't understand how it's a burden it's called family. Would you rather them have to be in debt because of you being in a home? I am asking in all honsty. In my eyes family takes care of family. My momma raised me the least I can do is take care of her when she is older.

Quoting mamaclairbear:

My mom is living with us because she can no longer take care of herself. However I'm 23 and right now trying to take care of her, a toddler, and be pregnant makes me hope my children just put me in a home so I'm not a burden on them.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

That is awsome. Sometimes we don't know why our parents do what they did till we are older.

Quoting I_luv_my_boys3:

My #1 dream since I was a teen was to be financially situated when that time comes where my parents will need me. My mom gave me & my other siblings up to my dad when I was 11 & the youngest was 5 & although it did hurt that she missed out I would still care for her & my dad. They can try pushing me away all they want but I'll still be here & my home will always be opened to them!

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

This is exactly how I feel. I can see some reasions why someone would need to be in a home but not many of them to be honst. That is my opinion before everyone jumps down on me.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's because this society is the most self-centered in the world. Everything revolves around yourself, and everyone else is an inconvenience. It reflects in the way a lot of people parent and the way they take care of their parents.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I say if that is her wishes respect them.

Quoting Sekirei:

Eh, my mother told me to stick her in a home... We will cross that bridge when we come to it though.

However, my father is going to a home.....no choice there, unless my sister feels bad enough to take him in