Hi, my name is Sarah. I really don't know how exactly to start this but to say hi. I just want to inform you that this will have a lot of graphic information's and to some of you; you may want to just stop here. I will not promise you a happy ending, because this hasn't ended for me just yet. February 23rd, 2000 I remember that day very clearly, even though it has been twelve years since that day... A cold rainy day that started nicely yet ended with a horrible nightmare for a twelve year old girl, me. Here's my story, about the nightmare that I will never get away from. But before I start I would like to also inform you that I am not good at writing so please bare with me....
February 23rd, 2000 I dressed up to go out on a date with my new boyfriend K. a tall, athletic, dark hair, brown eyed boy. It was our first date and I was pretty nervous since I have yet to ever go out on a date before. As I rode up (I went with my bicycle) to where we were meeting up I was trying to figure out what would I say when I see him. I waited anxiously for K. for maybe five minutes and here he was with a big smile. I waited for him to park his bicycle and we went for lunch, then to the mall just walking around and talking and having some fun times. Four a clock came and we had to go our separate ways. I grabbed my bike and headed to JUKU (are special private schools (primarily in Japan) that offer lessons conducted after regular school hours and on the week(ends) ). As I was heading to JUKU it started to rain a bit, but it didn't bother me at all considering I just had a wonderful time with my boyfriend K. Once I pulled up to the building I realized that I have forgotten that I had to take a test that day on History and English, the two subjects that I hated most. I walked up the steps and opened the door and tried to find some of my friends so I could see if they could give me some pointers but my teacher found me first. Since I have ADD my parents assigned me to the One On One class, so I went to my class room with my teacher. My teacher was in the early thirties, well groomed, dark hair, brown eyed, tall, fit and a deep husky voice man. Oh I forgot to mention he was the teacher who all girls wanted and he's single as well. Well he gave me fifteen minutes to look over my notes for review time. As I was looking over my notes he just sat on one of the desks that was close to where I was and stared at me. I thought he was just monitor what I was doing but later I found out that wasn't what he was doing... My fifteen minutes came up and he handed me the History test, then he told me that I had 45 minutes to finish my test then walked to his desk and sat down, yet he was once again just staring at me. As I struggled through the questions I somehow managed to finish answering all the questions with five minutes to spare. I scanned through the questions again to see if I missed anything, and he walks up and takes my test away from me. I got to have five minutes of break then back to fifteen minute of review time for the next subject. Now time to take my English test, ugh how much I hated this subject.... As I attempt to finish my test my 45 minutes came up and he took my test away once again... He sat there with my tests and graded them while I looked over my notes to see if I could find anything that I got wrong. He comes over sits down next to me and handed me the tests, I didn't do too well.... He looks at me and asked me "So why are you dressed up Sarah?" and I answered "I had a date with my boyfriend before I came in today sir" he didn't seem too happy with my answer, which I don't blame him since I really didn't do too well on the tests and I should have studied before I came in instead of going on a date that day. Then he asked me some more questions after he paused for maybe five minutes. "So what did you and your boyfriend do today?" he said, "We just had lunch then headed to the mall for a bit then that was all sir" I replied quietly wondering why he needed to know this... Then he stood up and leaned over to my desk and asked "Did he kiss you?" and then my nightmare had begun from there... He covered my mouth with his hand, and grabbed me and pushed me to the floor. His hand went up my skirt and under my panties and into vagina, my mouth still covered with this other had and his whole body on top of me.... I wanted to scream but nothing could come out with fear, I cried and cried. Then I felt a sharp pain, him entering into me thrusting his penis in and out of me as he grunts and moan he still manages to have my mouth covered and arm held down... I laid there stone cold and prayed it will end soon. As he got close to climax he took his hand off of my mouth and put it on my throat and chocked me, he pulled up my shirt and finished himself all over my stomach. I laid there on the floor for few minutes still in tears wanting to just run out the door but I was embarrassed to what just happened... never thought this would happen to me, never once did I ever think this would happen to me... He threw a towel at me and told me to clean myself up and leave. I did what I was told and I headed home. Once I got home I jumped in the shower and cried some more.
Here it is June29th 2012 and I still have nightmares of what has happened. I have learned recently that he has died in a car wreck couple months ago. I have yet get a closure from that day and I will most likely never get a closure, especially since the last time I saw him he told me that he was sorry for what has happened but he was not sorry for what he did because how much he enjoyed it... I am probably not going to get a closure from this since I also never reported the rape, I was too ashamed and too scared to tell my parents or anyone for years... The first time I ever opened up to someone and talked about it I was already seventeen years old. He did end up in jail due to another girl reported him of raping her... Now if I would have reported him this girl would have never had to go through what I did and I feel responsible of that... I know I should have reported it, I know now that I could of prevented from someone else to get hurt.... But I didn't.
I am truly sorry for the long story, I just had to get this off my chest cuz this has been on my mind for days now and i had to let it out.... I am also not going annon, I am not afraid anymore and I am facing my fears day by day. Now if you want to call me a troll, attention seeker, stupid or any other names go ahead, but i know what that day was like and my DH also has to deal with my black outs and flash backs.