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Why would a step mom be upset about an increase in child support? this is money he should be paying for his children

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Me and my ex have 2 kids together. He got a promotion with a significant raise 3 months ago. I guess he didn't know but his employer his obligated to let child support enforcement know if he gets a raise in pay, and they did. He thought that he was just going to get the pay raise and child support was going to stay the same. So child support enforcement adjusted that child support. They realized that something went wrong when they put the order in for the child support before, I was getting child support based on us only having one child.  So they adjusted the child support to reflect both his increase in pay AND us having 2 kids. They told me that I could go after him for the child support I didn't get for the past 2 years but I am not going to because it wasn't his fault. Child support enforcement contacted my ex to let him know about the increase. He called me hysterical because with this increase, it basically takes away his entire raise so he is bringing home about the same as he was before. I explained that really, this just means that for the past 2 years, he has been getting a break in child support and since it wasn't his fault, I am being nice enough to not go after him for that money. His wife gets on the phone and said that I am being greedy to ask for more (I didn't ask for more, CSE handles that) and that they decided that with his new raise they can afford to have a baby of their own but now they can't. She has been bitching about it ever since. I finally told her that sometimes not being able to have a baby together is the price that you pay when you marry a man who already has children and you have children of your own. My DH has children with is ex wife, I would never want him to not pay what he should in child support, I just don't get why someone would get upset about this.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 29, 2012 at 3:13 PM
Replies (11-20):
cLanief
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 3:22 PM
Awwww booooo. Guess she shouldn't have gotten with a guy she knew paid child support.
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1sweetmommma
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 3:26 PM

It did with my ex. When him & his (now ex) gf had kids, his CS order went way down. When their second child was born, my CS went down again. It's now half of what is was to begin with. Not that he's ever paid it, though, it's just ordered.

Quoting Scarlette12:

Doesn't work that way. I don't believe so...


Quoting Anonymous:

Well they should just go ahead and have a kid bc then the child support you get would go down bc your ex will be responsible for 3 kids.


Bigmetalchicken
by Ruby Member on Jun. 29, 2012 at 3:27 PM
5 moms liked this

This is why you should not marry men that have pre-existing children, if you don't want to make sacrifices because of those kids.

smalltownmom03
by Platinum Member on Jun. 29, 2012 at 3:28 PM
6 moms liked this

I thought you had to take him back to court to get CS raised? Ive never heard of them raising it with out the parents going back to court.

marcyb24
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 3:30 PM
1 mom liked this

I had nearly this EXACT same issue. My Ex Hub and I have three children. About the time our divorce was final and we were dealing with the Attorney General about child support, he had gotten a new job.  He didn't have anything showing what he made so they went off his word, basically.  I had been getting $540/month total. ($450/mo for CS and $90/mo for medical support) I was holding insurance on the kids until his kicked in at his new job.  Well, he got insurance and at the beginning of the year he contacted the Attorney General's office to get the medical support portion dropped.  No prob! It DID require us going to court and we went just two weeks ago in mid June; while we were there, since it had been over 3 years, they decided to check his income and do any adjusting needed.  They ended up raising his child support to $780/month.  (he'd been making a lot more than he let on and not reporting it)

He looked at me and said "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" And I just said "look, don't be that way.I have no control over this." I even went so far as to speak to the judge and let her know that Ex and new wife keep the kids during the summer to help out.  She said basically "good for them, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be contributing more to raising his children". The only suggestion the judge offered was that I could (of my own free will) give them a portion of the child support back during the summer months to help offset the cost of food etc.  I would have been willing and glad to do so! HOWEVER...I guess when Ex hub got home and let new wife know what happened at court...she flipped her lid. They refused to keep the kids after that day at court. (I offered to give the money back during summer...but they didn't want to do that) SHRUG. It's sad that money has a bearing on how much a father will see his children. :( It's not fair to the kids.

marcyb24
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 3:33 PM

In Texas, they send out this paper every 3 years asking if you'd like to investigate your ex's income or asking if you feel he's received a significant raise...etc. You can waive it on that paperwork or request to have it checked out. 

In my experience, I waived the re-check because I didn't feel he had gotten a raise and I didn't care...my CS was coming steadily and on time.  The state summoned us BOTH to court for whatever reason and it ended up my CS was nearly doubled due to him not reporting a change in income several times over the past few years.

Quoting smalltownmom03:

I thought you had to take him back to court to get CS raised? Ive never heard of them raising it with out the parents going back to court.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 29, 2012 at 3:34 PM
2 moms liked this

 Well, sucks to be her. She should have thought about that before marrying someone with kids.....

Some women are just greedy bitches.

L1558
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 3:36 PM
5 moms liked this

As a stepmom I'd be mad because my DH already pays a TON and had his child 50% of the time, while his ex makes more many than he does. She could even cover her son under her (good) insurance for free, but makes my DH pay for it through his anyway (which is ridiculous; even my DH would rather put the difference in a college fund instead of "waste" it). 

If it got increased, that would make me insane. Here the woman makes a better living, has her child only 50% of the time, and my DH pays more than 2x what the state would have him pay just to be nice. She is super lazy, only has a job because of her husband, and married an old guy (gold digger) so she'd be set for life. Meanwhile, we've had times where my actual child support (I get it from my ex-husband-- we both had one child when we got married -- and none together) has had to help us out, while we forked over money to her she would spend on dumb sh** like a new "Florida room". It's way too much. DH would ask for a decrease but is too proud and doesn't want his son thinking he doesn't care about him (and that's what his BM would say). Therefore, we shell out big bucks to her (at the time of the support case, DH had a job that paid better than after budget cuts he's suffered, and his ex was a SAHM who now is remarried to a rich guy and makes a living as well). Anyway...yeah, that's why I'd be mad.

Scarlette12
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 4:01 PM

I like how I said it doesn't work that way and I get four different people telling me it does in some states..

Okay I get it but don't have to quote me after someone else said it lol...

They can try but it's not a guarantee it will lower... -shrugs- 

The point is, she didn't ask for it to be increase, the court did and the ex's wife is going off the wrong person.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 29, 2012 at 4:05 PM

It depends on the state, in the state we live in, they won't do that.

Quoting 1sweetmommma:

It did with my ex. When him & his (now ex) gf had kids, his CS order went way down. When their second child was born, my CS went down again. It's now half of what is was to begin with. Not that he's ever paid it, though, it's just ordered.

Quoting Scarlette12:

Doesn't work that way. I don't believe so...


Quoting Anonymous:

Well they should just go ahead and have a kid bc then the child support you get would go down bc your ex will be responsible for 3 kids.



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