My DH is half Mexican. He moves furniture for his step-father's company. He is the manager on the jobs and sort of calls the shots.
Today, he called me really pissed off after leaving a job. They were moving some old ladies you of an apartment. He went to the restroom in one of the rooms in the apartment that they were packing up. One of his crew (a Puerto Rican man) did the same in another restroom.
One of the ladies went into the adjacent bedroom while his crew member was in the bathroom (briefly, they both just peed) and started screaming and yelling. She reamed the guy out and said she wasn't okay with black men using her toilet. She said she didn't know what kind of diseases he might have. She freaked the hell out. She went and found the nearest white guy and addressed him, another crew member, saying that she was prejudice (yeah, she called herself that) and that that black guy went to the bathroom in her bathroom and that "the other one... yeah him (pointing to my husband)" went in her roommate's bathroom. She was like confused. I guess the only races she knows of are black and white and otherwise she is just dumbfounded, because neither men are black or anywhere near dark enough to look black (not that it would make a difference, just letting you know how ignorant this woman was). Of course she wanted to talk to the white guy and not DH (the manager and son of the owner of the company).
How do these women live in the world? Do they never go out and use a public toilet? If they think they are going to be contaminated by black men, how do they have contact with anyone in stores, etc.? What universe are these crazy old bitches from (my father and uncle are older and have none of this ignorance, so age is not an excuse for being hateful). Also, this is the apartment that they were LEAVING, not the one they were moving into, so how the infection level of these toilets from black people pee was going to affect them, I will never know.
DH says he is glad that she yelled at the other guy because he would have yelled back. I am so upset that he didn't just unpack her stuff from the truck onto the lawn in front of the apartment complex and drive away. He finished the job but he and the other "black" crew-member stayed downstairs. I so wish I could retroactively get him to leave. She asked the white crew-member if "the black guy and the other one" were staying downstairs. I could punch a bitch.
DH hasn't experienced much racism in his life, except for racial profiling from a cop (no charge or anything, he was just driving up beside him and looking in the window then dropped back and pulled him over, got him out and patted him down and stuff, issued no ticket) and stupid/obscene/racist jokes from his white step-family. So, he was really upset by this experience and couldn't shake it. He also felt sad/scared for our daughter, if she ever has to experience hate like that.
His step-father is generally a dick, especially about work (like piling on a ton of jobs and making them do even disgusting health-risk level jobs and booking work on holidays, etc.) but he said that he totally would have supported him in pulling off the job if DH had made that move. That impressed me. DH called him and said he never would go on another job with those ladies and his step-dad said he wouldn't ever book work with them again anyway. Step-dad is one that makes racist/off-color jokes, but he was surprisingly supportive about this. DH said that he would have pulled off the job if it weren't for the trailer being 90% packed already. I understand because you don't always think to do the most appropriate thing in a moment like that.
But, seriously, racist old BITCHES. Can you believe them? I feel sorry that they will die with hate in their hearts.
Wow. I hate to be able to say this, but I could TOTALLY picture my Nana doing this. This is in fact very much like her. We don't talk anymore...I wonder if she moved recently...
Yikes. If I were you, I wouldn't talk to a family member like that either.
My grandmother likes that there are a lot of different colors in her grandbabies and greatgrandbabies. She treats them all the same. She also travels to wherever her greatgrandkids are born. Mostly, hours away or a few days away but once it was to Japan!
lol. Does she live in Florida?
Quoting FoxFire363:Wow. I hate to be able to say this, but I could TOTALLY picture my Nana doing this. This is in fact very much like her. We don't talk anymore...I wonder if she moved recently...
No, she lives in Texas. She believes it is "unfair to the children" to have mixed kids because they "won't know what they are." Seriously. Um, people. They are little people. Lol. She disowned me because of "the gay." Kind of glad she did, but at times it makes me sad because she took care of me a lot when I was little and we used to be really close. It doesn't help that she has lost her "filter" in her old age.
Quoting Bellarose0212:Yikes. If I were you, I wouldn't talk to a family member like that either.
My grandmother likes that there are a lot of different colors in her grandbabies and greatgrandbabies. She treats them all the same. She also travels to wherever her greatgrandkids are born. Mostly, hours away or a few days away but once it was to Japan!
lol. Does she live in Florida?
Quoting FoxFire363:Wow. I hate to be able to say this, but I could TOTALLY picture my Nana doing this. This is in fact very much like her. We don't talk anymore...I wonder if she moved recently...
Triple yikes!
Most of us are mixed. I have so many ethnicities up through my history, including ones with darker skin tones, even though I appear white.
Sorry that your Nana's ignorance cost you your relationship with her!
Quoting FoxFire363:No, she lives in Texas. She believes it is "unfair to the children" to have mixed kids because they "won't know what they are." Seriously. Um, people. They are little people. Lol. She disowned me because of "the gay." Kind of glad she did, but at times it makes me sad because she took care of me a lot when I was little and we used to be really close. It doesn't help that she has lost her "filter" in her old age.
Quoting Bellarose0212:Yikes. If I were you, I wouldn't talk to a family member like that either.
My grandmother likes that there are a lot of different colors in her grandbabies and greatgrandbabies. She treats them all the same. She also travels to wherever her greatgrandkids are born. Mostly, hours away or a few days away but once it was to Japan!
lol. Does she live in Florida?
Quoting FoxFire363:Wow. I hate to be able to say this, but I could TOTALLY picture my Nana doing this. This is in fact very much like her. We don't talk anymore...I wonder if she moved recently...
Yeah, she has some really interesting ideas...to put it nicely. Thanks for the kind words. I have made my peace with it.
Quoting Bellarose0212:Triple yikes!
Most of us are mixed. I have so many ethnicities up through my history, including ones with darker skin tones, even though I appear white.
Sorry that your Nana's ignorance cost you your relationship with her!
Quoting FoxFire363:No, she lives in Texas. She believes it is "unfair to the children" to have mixed kids because they "won't know what they are." Seriously. Um, people. They are little people. Lol. She disowned me because of "the gay." Kind of glad she did, but at times it makes me sad because she took care of me a lot when I was little and we used to be really close. It doesn't help that she has lost her "filter" in her old age.
Quoting Bellarose0212:Yikes. If I were you, I wouldn't talk to a family member like that either.
My grandmother likes that there are a lot of different colors in her grandbabies and greatgrandbabies. She treats them all the same. She also travels to wherever her greatgrandkids are born. Mostly, hours away or a few days away but once it was to Japan!
lol. Does she live in Florida?
Quoting FoxFire363:Wow. I hate to be able to say this, but I could TOTALLY picture my Nana doing this. This is in fact very much like her. We don't talk anymore...I wonder if she moved recently...
That is unfortunately how they were raised. Not making excuses for their behavior at all but they don't even realize how hateful they are being, they think it is normal. Your dh should just try to not let it bother him and understand where it comes from. I remember my grandparents being racist. Luckily my father was not the same way and realized they were wrong.
I can't believe that you really believe this. She judges people because of their skin tone and thinks that they will contaminate her. I judge her because of her actions and her words and think those makes her a bitch. I don't think all old white ladies are mean now. I don't think she will contaminate me.
I don't buy that it's generational. I have met tons of people in her generation who do not spew hate at others unnecessarily. Even if it's regional, my grandmother was raised in the south and is in her age range and she does not spew hate or treat others poorly. Even if it is because of personal experience, my mother and aunt were BEAT UP by gangs of black people in middle school during riots. They both know and love black people now and treat everyone with respect.
We all have choices about how we behave, despite the popular opinion of our generation.
Quoting Anonymous:
That's life. Her generation was raised so differently than yours.
Until you have walked a mile in her shoes you are just as bad for judging her.
I think my husband's a sociopath
- Bellarose0212
on Jun. 30, 2012 at 8:37 PM