how do YOU make new friends?

[Anonymous]

i am so lonely.  i got in trouble a little over a year ago and made some major life changes (getting sober and moving away) and now i am very lonely.  i dont talk to any of my old friends because they are not a good influence on me and my sobriety is more important.  that being said i am glad i have made some good changes but now am in a position where i dont have ay friends left.

how do you make friends?  the only people i talk to is my family and i really need to be able to branch out in a positive way and build relationships with good, responsible people.

[KME3]

Oh and congrats on getting sober. :)

[Paigesmommy78]

oh that sucks sorry thats odd that they want let ur DH come with u i get they r closed but still he is ur supporter so that should make it ok have u tried just talking to people at the park take ur LO and most likely they will start playing with the kids so them just start chatting it up with the kids mom

Quoting Anonymous:

i live in a rural area and the only meetings close by are all step meetings and are mostly men.  i have only met one woman and she was a college student whu was visiting over christmas break....i have a lot of fear about being around that many men and so i dont feel comfortable going to the na meetings at this point.  maybe if my husband could go with me but he cant since they are closed meetings and he isnt allowed to come.

Quoting Paigesmommy78:

Good for u getting sober have u tried maybe going to meeting like AA or things like that i kno for my DH he has made some great friends there and i kno around here they have groups for men and women

[dilateyourmind]

Quoting Anonymous:

i know that is true but there is such a stigma attached to being a parent and having a drug problem....having a drug problem (even if you are in recovery) automatically makes you a shitty mom in most peoples eyes.  i love my kids and even though getting in trouble has been very difficult it also was the thing that forced me to confront my issues and make the changes i needed to become a better parent.  i feel like most people dont see it that way though.

Quoting TrouserMouse:

There isn't one person out there that hadn't done things that they are not proud of.

Quoting Anonymous:

the hardest part for me is i feel like no one would want to be friends with me considering i had got in trouble...i mean would you want to be friends with someone who had a record for drugs?  i want my kids to grow up around good people who live a different life than i was raised in but i dont feel like anyone would be friends with me and want to set up play dates with our kids considering my past.

Quoting dilateyourmind:

I am so proud of you for acknowledging and taking the right steps. Find groups locally with the same interest. Book club. Kayaking whatever. Walk up like you own the place and introduce yourself. You have NOTHING to lose!

STOP TRYING TO READ PEOPLES MINDS! Give people more credit than that. Your past is just that. You are on a new path. Your actions will prove the kind of person you are in your new friendships.