I'm marrying my cousin's exdf

[Anonymous]

They were supposed to get married 4 years ago but she decided not to last minute. Literally, a week before the wedding she backed out. I don't know why, we're not close. We only communicate thru fb and the last time we saw each other was 12 years ago. We live pretty much on.opposite ends of the country. With that being said, I did NOT know df was once HER df and he didn't know I'm related.to her until a couple months ago...all thru fb pics & by accident.

He and I began dating nearly 3 years after the "incident". I announced my engagement on fb and posted a pic of us together. Now, I'm getting ALL kinds of bs from my uncle (her dad) and other family. They cursed our relationship and my cousin told me that she needed to talk ASAP (yesterday). I thought she,was going to insult me too. Well, we talked and she confessed that she backed out of marrying him because she felt pressured and she honestly didn't "love him like that". Then she wished us a happy life together. Totally made me cry.

Now I just need to.know how to.handle these crazy relatives because they are driving me INSANE.

[Starburst72]

i think that this sudden informing them of an engagement to her ex has likely shocked them. you are family, its a betrayal of sorts. i would have told them we were dating if i was you a long time ago to start easing them in to accepting the situation. 

she sounds like an admirable and wonderful young lady however, bless her heart for giving you her blessing in this

[.Diddles.]

Ignore them. They have NO say in your life. If you both are happy, in love, and marriage is what you both want then there is no issue. The issue is with them and that is none of your business. They need to keep their two cents to themselves. Don't make an effort to contact them.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Perhaps, but I posted without thinking about their feelings. Why should I? I can't remember the last I've spoken to my.uncle & NOW he's asking for my cell? Yeah, they don't really care.

And yes, she is a wonderful person. I completely underestimated her.

Quoting Starburst72:

i think that this sudden informing them of an engagement to her ex has likely shocked them. you are family, its a betrayal of sorts. i would have told them we were dating if i was you a long time ago to start easing them in to accepting the situation. 

she sounds like an admirable and wonderful young lady however, bless her heart for giving you her blessing in this

[Starburst72]

because they are family, family should have been considered in this long ago. you should have realized they might not take it well. obviously they do care, quite a bit. 

at this point its already a done deal with them knowing abruptly. i would send a letter, not email, informing them you are sorry they are hurt and outraged. however you will not allow them to heap emotinal abuse on you either. that their daughter has gracefully given her blessing on your coming union and they should learn from her example. and that if they cannot control themselves all contact will be cut off until they can. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Perhaps, but I posted without thinking about their feelings. Why should I? I can't remember the last I've spoken to my.uncle & NOW he's asking for my cell? Yeah, they don't really care.

Quoting Starburst72:

i think that this sudden informing them of an engagement to her ex has likely shocked them. you are family, its a betrayal of sorts. i would have told them we were dating if i was you a long time ago to start easing them in to accepting the situation. 

she sounds like an admirable and wonderful young lady however, bless her heart for giving you her blessing in this

[thehickinhickor]

if the cousin is cool block the other from seeing anything or just let it roll people just look for drama sometimes 

[Anonymous]

How did you meet df if you live on the opposite side of the country from your cousin?

[Bellarose0212]

Maybe you could ask her to call off the dogs, so to speak. Maybe she could say something to them.

I don't understand why they are acting taht way. Maybe if he had left her. Or, maybe if she has told some horrid lie about him. Or maybe if it was fresh out of that relationship and you had stolen him away.

None apply so I don't understand the reaction.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

He moved to my state...neighboring town. It's a long story but in a nutshell, he wanted to be,as far away from her and her family as possible. And, he has family here too.

Quoting Anonymous:

How did you meet df if you live on the opposite side of the country from your cousin?

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Somehow her mom got my cell #. I've yet to figure out how that happened because she obiously got it from someone I'm close with. Other than that, they're blocked.

Quoting thehickinhickor:

if the cousin is cool block the other from seeing anything or just let it roll people just look for drama sometimes 

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

They just like him a lot and,REALLY wanted him in the family. But yes, she's "called off" the dogs except her parents who are stubborn jerks.

Quoting Bellarose0212:

Maybe you could ask her to call off the dogs, so to speak. Maybe she could say something to them.

I don't understand why they are acting taht way. Maybe if he had left her. Or, maybe if she has told some horrid lie about him. Or maybe if it was fresh out of that relationship and you had stolen him away.

None apply so I don't understand the reaction.