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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What's gonna happen to my daughter and I?

Posted by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 7:57 AM
  • 42 Replies

I am a single, disabled, stay-at-home mom of 2girls (one of which lives with me and the other lives with my mom (of course not by my choice)). I am raising my youngest, which is 11. We have been homeless several times, which is where we are sort of at once again. I am on SSI disability payments, my daughter's SSA (from her father's disability) and her child support. We only have approx. $1,200 a month to live on each month. We also tend to live in either/or dangerous places or unhealthy places for her entire life. Right now we are crashing on my mom's couch. And there is a time limit to how long we can remain here. And our expiration date is nearly upon us (like by this weekend stretching it we have til next weekend). So cause of this knowledge I had to seize the first place that was affordable, sort of. Well it is a 2/1 trailer that is $550 a month. But, wait as all mom's here know that isn't all the expenses there is to moving: the deposit on the place$200; electric deposit$345; u-haul rental of up to$100; gas in the u-haul $2.94 a gallon right now here in FL; phone bill$125; Aarons (I cannot give up my computer cause that is the only thing that gets me thru all the insanity in and around my life, plus I have only 3 payments left then it's all mine)$138; then food for the month (when I only get $143 in food stamps) $350 +; laundry washing and drying for the entire month$3 for both per load; buses (if they are possilbly near where the trailer is)$1.50 each way/per bus for my tickets and $.75 each way/per bus for my daughter; misc expenses UNKOWN amt. So as you can see I don't have enough money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so scared that I'm losing alot of sleep and really not eating either. See, I have numerous medical and mental health issues that are crippling at times several at once: fibromyalgia, arthritis, GERD, 2 bulging discs ( one in my cervical and one in my lumbar regions of my spince), neuropathy, IBS, insomnia, menopausal/peri-menopause, ADD/ADHD, anxiety disorder, depression. So I can't physiscally even move my stuff myself so I'm having to pay others to move me. What scares me the most is that I have no one or no way to come up with the electric deposit and I don't even know which trailer I' m moving into cause that landlord promised me a unit that I couldn't get in to to look at cause there is ppl in there now and the sherriff is serving them re-possession papers Mon. morning. If there is a problem he is gonna give me a different unit located in his trailer park. I don't have everything we NEED to even live there: a place for me to lay my head or a place for me to put my clothes (THANK GOD my daughter has those at least), food to eat there or cleaning stuff, dish drainer or sponge to wash dishes with, and 95% of our clothes are dirty cause where we lived there wasn't working washers or dryers and no one would help us get to the laundry matt.. I FEEL LIKE SUCH A LOSER AND BAD PARENT for not being able to provide my daughter with everything she needs... I sure could use a friend or two....... I really don't have anyone I can turn to for advice and what not.. So PLEASE BE MY FRIEND(S). Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 7:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Starburst72
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 7:59 AM


Quoting misst1968:

I am a single, disabled, stay-at-home mom of 2girls (one of which lives with me and the other lives with my mom (of course not by my choice)). I am raising my youngest, which is 11. We have been homeless several times, which is where we are sort of at once again. I am on SSI disability payments, my daughter's SSA (from her father's disability) and her child support. We only have approx. $1,200 a month to live on each month. We also tend to live in either/or dangerous places or unhealthy places for her entire life. Right now we are crashing on my mom's couch. And there is a time limit to how long we can remain here. And our expiration date is nearly upon us (like by this weekend stretching it we have til next weekend). So cause of this knowledge I had to seize the first place that was affordable, sort of. Well it is a 2/1 trailer that is $550 a month. But, wait as all mom's here know that isn't all the expenses there is to moving: the deposit on the place$200; electric deposit$345; u-haul rental of up to$100; gas in the u-haul $2.94 a gallon right now here in FL; phone bill$125; Aarons (I cannot give up my computer cause that is the only thing that gets me thru all the insanity in and around my life, plus I have only 3 payments left then it's all mine)$138; then food for the month (when I only get $143 in food stamps) $350 +; laundry washing and drying for the entire month$3 for both per load; buses (if they are possilbly near where the trailer is)$1.50 each way/per bus for my tickets and $.75 each way/per bus for my daughter; misc expenses UNKOWN amt. So as you can see I don't have enough money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so scared that I'm losing alot of sleep and really not eating either. See, I have numerous medical and mental health issues that are crippling at times several at once: fibromyalgia, arthritis, GERD, 2 bulging discs ( one in my cervical and one in my lumbar regions of my spince), neuropathy, IBS, insomnia, menopausal/peri-menopause, ADD/ADHD, anxiety disorder, depression. So I can't physiscally even move my stuff myself so I'm having to pay others to move me. What scares me the most is that I have no one or no way to come up with the electric deposit and I don't even know which trailer I' m moving into cause that landlord promised me a unit that I couldn't get in to to look at cause there is ppl in there now and the sherriff is serving them re-possession papers Mon. morning. If there is a problem he is gonna give me a different unit located in his trailer park. I don't have everything we NEED to even live there: a place for me to lay my head or a place for me to put my clothes (THANK GOD my daughter has those at least), food to eat there or cleaning stuff, dish drainer or sponge to wash dishes with, and 95% of our clothes are dirty cause where we lived there wasn't working washers or dryers and no one would help us get to the laundry matt.. I FEEL LIKE SUCH A LOSER AND BAD PARENT for not being able to provide my daughter with everything she needs... I sure could use a friend or two....... I really don't have anyone I can turn to for advice and what not.. So PLEASE BE MY FRIEND(S). Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your situation is quite dire , i am so sorry all i can suggest is using a site like weusecoupons.com to learn better ways of shopping more frugally etc

Pray for the happiness of those who curse you.Pray for those who hurt you.Luke 6:28

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 1, 2012 at 8:00 AM
Saw on your profile that you may be homeschooling your child? Is this true?
lovelove211
by Platinum Member on Jul. 1, 2012 at 8:03 AM
Hmm
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NDADanceMom
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 8:09 AM

well you arent going to like it, but im not being a bitch here.  Based on what you just said here is my advice.  You are a hot mess and you have no ability to parent right now.  Your childs life is completely fucked if she is with you.  How can she go to college and get a good life when im sure she is going to have to take care of you?  

I would find a friend, family member or foster family to raise my kid and make sure she gets into college.  I would check myself into a hospital until I was stable.  I would leave the hospital and get a place suitable for kids.  When you can feed, house and take care of yourself for a YEAR, then you can look into getting kids back.  

La-Belle-Vie
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 8:11 AM
No advice but are you really in a position to be raising a child right now?
Honestly?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 1, 2012 at 8:15 AM
I just want to say I understand how you feel. I am also a disabled single mother, my daughter is 15 months, and we have about the same income. Lucky for me, we rent out my moms basement for 250 a month. But I'm buying a car, three payments of. 500. So after that and rent and phone, we will be living off her welfare. Good luck, and do what's best for your child, before yourself. Maybe you need a break from mothering. It's okay to ask for help.
rgba
by Ruby Member on Jul. 1, 2012 at 8:15 AM
1 mom liked this
You pay $300/month for computer and phone?
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PerfectVirgo
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 8:17 AM

You can do it!!!!!   Believe that. You just have to do it. I'm proud to say that I support my 3 kids on less than what you get a month. And I work my ass off to do it. I would save up as much as you can, living with your mom. Don't take the first place available just because it's available. There will always be something to rent at a cheap price. And most rentals will work with you. I paid off my deposit a little every month for 7 months. And my electric company has a program to pay a set price every month, so I know exactly what my bills are. Have faith. And patience.

The soul doesn't think without a picture.   -Aristotle

www.musketstreet.com

fla33023
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 8:17 AM
Sorry OP, but I agree with this. Is there someone who can take your dd while you get yourself together? You don't seem physically or mentally able at this time.


Quoting NDADanceMom:

well you arent going to like it, but im not being a bitch here.  Based on what you just said here is my advice.  You are a hot mess and you have no ability to parent right now.  Your childs life is completely fucked if she is with you.  How can she go to college and get a good life when im sure she is going to have to take care of you?  

I would find a friend, family member or foster family to raise my kid and make sure she gets into college.  I would check myself into a hospital until I was stable.  I would leave the hospital and get a place suitable for kids.  When you can feed, house and take care of yourself for a YEAR, then you can look into getting kids back.  


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PerfectVirgo
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 8:19 AM

plus, don't try to rent a trailer. That is going to be more for the utilities. I live in a horribly ghetto, loud, noisy apartment complex BUT I can afford it. They pay water, and my electric is half of what you'd pay in a single family dwelling. And my kids don't notice. There's a lot of love and happiness in this tiny apartment.

The soul doesn't think without a picture.   -Aristotle

www.musketstreet.com

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