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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My pregnancy could kill me *UPDATE 07/21/12*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Does this make me selfish?

Options:

Yes

No

Other


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 12

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I continue to keep a pregnancy? I have condition heart condition that can cause:
can slightly increase the risk of infective endocarditis (an infection of the inner lining of the heart chambers and valves.), can cause the heart to enlarge, forcing it to work harder. greater amount of extra blood that passes through the lungs. increased blood flow can irritate the lining of the pulmonary artery, where the ductus arteriosus connects. This irritation makes it easier for bacteria in the bloodstream to collect and grow. Not to metion the fact I am a smoker.
 
It is also genetic and I can pass it on to my child. I have had one term pregnancy (39wks) but refused a medical abortion at 10 weeks because I want children regardless of the fact I can die, my child could die or Both.
 
Does that make me a selfish person? Adoption is not a choice I have since I do not have a clean bill of health nor is caring for children in the system.
 
EDIT:
I dont think anyone who hasnt been in the place I am can fully see it how I do of course you can try but if you really think about it, how would you deal with this? I cant seem to find a way. For woman how cannot become pregnant, They have other options like IVF, egg donor, sperm donor, adoption, state career.
I have none of those, I can get pregnant but I'm told I can not carry to term safely, that I will die, I will be the cause of my childs death, I will always blame myself if something happens ect..
Right now my DS has seemed fine but I have an appointment for him to be checked, If I be honest with myself - I believe I have passed it on, He has no signs but my gut tells me.
I feel horrible ladies, i really do. But my life is not what I had always planned or looked forward too
 
UPDATE -
Yesterday I had go to the doctor and discuss this situation and talk about what we are going to do. u/s confirmed I am 19 weeks 3 days pregnant making my due date the December 11th (One week ahead of what I thought I was) He told me what he did last time, an abortion is my best option and once again I told him NO! Next week I will be going in for a stress test on my heart and a Echo-cardiogram on my heart.
Also another u/s on baby since he/she seems to have a irregular heart rate which is not related to my heart condition.
Bash me if you must but I will not terminate this pregnancy, I have not had a smoke in nearly 11 days, I am off my medication since it can cause deformities.
 
 

 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:40 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:49 AM
JUST because you were fortunate enough to have a healthy pregnancy and child doesn't mean it will happen again....

Quoting Anonymous:

So i should abort a child my family and myself want? even though I have proven I can carry to term and not have serious problems or die?


Quoting bearscubed:


 Here is a better question: Do you want your children to grow up without their mother?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:49 AM

because i have a high chance of death or fetal death or both with my condition. My first child was born alive and well and I survived, so it can be done but my risk is high

Quoting bearscubed:

 So then why are you implying that it could kill you if you've proven otherwise?

Quoting Anonymous:

So i should abort a child my family and myself want? even though I have proven I can carry to term and not have serious problems or die?

Quoting bearscubed:

 Here is a better question: Do you want your children to grow up without their mother?

 

 


L1558
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:49 AM
2 moms liked this

You should probably stop trying to get pregnant in the first place as it seems you are rolling the dice; however, if you are going to have kids and already have an illness that could cost them their mom-- WHY THE HELL ARE YOU A SMOKER?

You are missing the big picture things here.

Quoting Anonymous:

So i should abort a child my family and myself want? even though I have proven I can carry to term and not have serious problems or die?

Quoting bearscubed:

 Here is a better question: Do you want your children to grow up without their mother?



..guesswho..
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:50 AM
I personally wouldn't have gotten pregnant again.

I won't even have another baby now because I am afraid of c section complications. I don't have any health issues at all, but I don't want up risk leaving my two beautiful children without a mother just so I can have another baby.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bearscubed
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:50 AM
3 moms liked this

 So you're willing to take that risk again dying during the pregnancy and/or labor? Again, you're risking leaving your children without a mother and that, in itself, is selfish.

Quoting Anonymous:

because i have a high chance of death or fetal death or both with my condition. My first child was born alive and well and I survived, so it can be done but my risk is high

Quoting bearscubed:

 So then why are you implying that it could kill you if you've proven otherwise?

Quoting Anonymous:

So i should abort a child my family and myself want? even though I have proven I can carry to term and not have serious problems or die?

Quoting bearscubed:

 Here is a better question: Do you want your children to grow up without their mother?

 

 

 

 

Aislin
by Platinum Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:51 AM

I am pro choice so I respect your right to make that choice for yourself. I would hope you would think long and hard about the people you would leave behind if the worst happened but I wouldn't call you selfish.

JaimieLynn8
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:51 AM
1 mom liked this
I could never risk my living child losing his mother, no matter what.
If I knew these risks and got pregnant anyway, absolutely I'd be selfish. I'd cherish my living child and consider adoption instead! Not only are you risking your life and unborn baby's but you're risking passing this on?! For what reason?!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Sunshinebee2
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:52 AM
1 mom liked this
The adopt there are plenty of kids hoping someone will come along and give them a home


Quoting Anonymous:

Because I WANT more children, not just one child. I want 4 to be truthful


Quoting Anonymous:


I can understand wanting to give life to the child. But I have to ask if you knew all of this why did you not have some type of birth control or have your tubes tied or other to keep from getting pregnant?




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
.ZombieGirl.
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:53 AM

I'm going to say no.

Pregnancy could of killed me, it almost did 2 out of 3 of mine. I also have a blood disorder that my girls have a 50% of getting and is the reason why my pregnancies almost killed me. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:53 AM

I didnt try but I didnt provent it. I have always wanted a big family, sadly when I was 14 that idea was pushed into the "You die if" bin, like everything else i cannot do in life.

I smoke because I am a idiot. But I have been quitting with the doctors help for a few months now.

Quoting L1558:

You should probably stop trying to get pregnant in the first place as it seems you are rolling the dice; however, if you are going to have kids and already have an illness that could cost them their mom-- WHY THE HELL ARE YOU A SMOKER?

You are missing the big picture things here.

Quoting Anonymous:

So i should abort a child my family and myself want? even though I have proven I can carry to term and not have serious problems or die?

Quoting bearscubed:

 Here is a better question: Do you want your children to grow up without their mother?

 



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