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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

maybe its time to leave?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies

been with BF for almost 4 years. we've seen good times and bad times. i have a 6 year old, who likes/loves him. often calls him dad, even though he knows he's not, and he knows of his real dad.

but lately... the emotions arent there for me. dont get me wrong- i love him SO MUCH and i wanted us to work... but i dont see how its possible- and its breaking my heart.

he's not financially stable. he hasnt had a job in a while and b/c of that, i'm losing out on money... he has one of my credit cards so he can get things with it... he took the last $17 out of my wallet (i'm guessing for food?)... my credit card is set up with his XBOX live account- charged every month for the monthly fee and if he ever wants to add on points, to buy games, movies, etc...

he has a job he's starting in 2 weeks... but i feel like i'm done with this relationship. is that bad?

he's helped me with my child- taken him when i wasnt able to care for him, plays with him, teaches him, entertains him, reads with him, etc... all the things that a 'dad' does... he helps me cook meals- or cooks them himself if i dont want to (i am a sucky cooker)... he takes the trash out, he tries to be the man that i need.. he's 26 years old and hasnt started college yet (he's been wanting to start since we met in mid-2008). and right now, technically, he's homeless- he's staying with me, but he's not supposed to be.

idk if i can just break up with him either. i work for his mom- at his mom's house. i'd have to quit that job before i end the relationship, right? =(

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 10, 2012 at 5:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 5:48 PM

I have no idea

Kodysmommy928
by Platinum Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 5:50 PM

Have you spoken to him about how you are feeling?

mrs.jessefuller
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 5:50 PM
Maybe give of till he starts working finances can really put strain on a relationship
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seksen
by Gold Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 5:51 PM

That is a sucky situation.. First of all I would be cancelling the XBOX thing - if he wants to work and have it fine.. But you need to sit down and talk to him about this.. I have been in that same situation. Please message me if you feel like talking

safi
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 5:51 PM
Smh. Thats the answer these days , isnt it. Im done trying now. Lets move on to the next one
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Starburst72
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 5:52 PM

sounds like its actually past due for you to move along hon and find greener more financially stable pastures

DeeDee_28
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 5:53 PM
talk to him first to let him know how you feel and go from there
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Shelley927
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 5:54 PM

I would cut some things out until he is able to pay for things....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 10, 2012 at 5:56 PM

i have... and he's been trying to get jobs since he got laid off months ago. so its not lack of trying. he goes to at least 3 interviews a week, sends in his resume at least 3-4 times a day, he's with 3 temp companies, he's gone to the 'work today' building-- where you work today and get paid that day... but with the economy, they are only hiring the first 3-5 people who come. 

he says that it'll get better, that we'll go out for date nights, etc- just as soon as he's bringing in some money. i honestly dont care about the date nights- i dont think its the intamicy lacking in the relationship- its the want of being in the relationship itself, from my stand.

i'm trying to support him, trying to help him... but when i'm on my last dollar, i think- that full tank of gas could have lasted me til friday- but instead, he drove 2 hrs today for the interview.... instead of having the money to go to the grocery store, he spent it on one meal at a fast food joint.

i'm slowly beginning to resent him and idk what to do to stop it. i dont wnat to begin hating him. i do love him, he's my best friend and whoever he ends up with- whether its me or someone else- is a really lucky female. but right now, the resentment is starting to creep up

Quoting Kodysmommy928:

Have you spoken to him about how you are feeling?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 10, 2012 at 6:01 PM

i dont want to 'move on to the next'... but i do feel my resentment growing- and i'm scared that it'll turn into hatred soon. 

take today for an example... we woke up at 8:30... went to his moms-- where he fell asleep and i worked til about 10.. then he went to an interview ... came back at 12:30-1, and i was still working... he fell asleep for about a hour... we come home/my place.. that was around 2:30-3... its going on 6 and he's still sleeping. this is how it is, almost every day.

but he IS trying too.... and i love him for that. he sends out his resume, goes to interviews on a weekly basis, tried doing a 'work today' thing, etc. i love who he is and this entire year, i've tried sticking beside him- through the financial thick and thin... my entire savings is gone. i have $61 in my bank account... i do have my tax return coming- to pay off my debt and the rest, i'm sure he'll have to use in some way or another.

i dont want to leave him... but part of me does.. i dont know if its worth saying goodbye. i'm 24 with a 6 year old- he needs to be my top priority... or stick it out with this guy, this IS the guy you want to be married to.

Quoting safi:

Smh. Thats the answer these days , isnt it. Im done trying now. Lets move on to the next one


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