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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

stop buying s***

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Why in the fuck do you buy soda and ice cream and canned stew with SNAP? The gutter class is going to bankrupt this country.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 10, 2012 at 7:04 PM
Replies (371-376):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 17, 2012 at 11:45 AM

No, what the government classifies as a need.  I hope it becomes much more like WIC.   People don't need store made cakes or bags of frozen nuggets or cases of soda when they are so poor they cannot feed their family.   They don't.   They need nutrition.

Kids deserve what their parents can afford.   You couldn't afford a cake.  Deal with people telling you that it is irresponsible what you did.  We get it.  You don't care.  But I will be very glad when the reforms hit again and people can't do that anymore.  If you kid needed a cake, then be a fucking mom and make it.  That is what a real mom reduced to living off the government would do instead of the entitled mom trying to make the sob story so we all feel badly for you.


No, I don't think most people are ashamed to be on it and I wish more people were.  They should be ashamed because shame is a big force in swallowing pride and taking whatever job you can find instead of waiting for the one you think is good enough.

Quoting jediGert:

OIC.... people on PA should only buy what YOU think is a 'need'.  Nah, my kid didn't NEED a cake or a birthday, he won't remember anyways... isn't that the reasoning here?  What about his parents?  What are we allowed to remember?  That we gave him a nice birthday with a nice cake or that we caved to social pressure from a bunch of sanctimommies and gave him nothing lest we be judged?

Please... like I give a crap what YOU think or say.  We aren't on food assistance any more but if we were, I'd do it again in a heart beat, not because I think I'm better or special, but because I think my kid deserves what every OTHER kid gets.  A nice birthday.  If you want to sit here and tell me my kid isn't good enough for a stupid fucking cake once a damn year because we were too poor to buy groceries you go right on ahead but frankly, if you do your an ass.

Contrary to popular CM opinion.. people on PA aren't making a lifestyle choice.  Most people on PA are on it as a last resort because they have run out of all other options.  Do you not think most people are ashamed enough to be on it WITHOUT asshats judging them because they bought one stupid fucking birthday cake for their kid?  I mean really... one cake.  Yah... that's SUCH a big deal.  Total waste of tax dollars there.  Why, I bet those same people drink soda and eat beef jerky too!  And as a matter of fact, we did... and if the government thought these things should not be allowed the GOVERNMENT should not allow them.  Until you can get a law passed to make that happen.. trying to shame other parents just makes you a bitch and a loser yourself.  The pop was for my husband to take to work because they have no vending machines and the beef jerky was for my iron deficiency because the pills make me throw up and you can only eat so much spinach before you want to kill yourself but you, the judgemental tax payer... that's not good enough for you.  People on food assistance should only be allowed to buy fruit, vegetables, lean meats but not too lean because that's expensive and no seafood because that's for people with money and no steak.  They should be allowed to buy flour but not sugar or oil because sugar and oil are fattening and we wouldn't want any fat poor people around because that costs you the tax payer more money in health care.

The point of food assistance is so you can feed your family.  Period.  It is not so other people can judge what you buy.  It is not so that other people can dictate to you WHAT you can feed your family.  The government, ironically enough, understands that it super duper sucks to be poor and sometimes when you haven't got a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of, your ONLY entertainment is going to come in a bag of chips and a bottle of pop.

but hey, the feelings of poor people don't matter anyways.  They are subhuman after all.

Quoting Anonymous:

It is not hypocritical to spend your money on things you want if you want people using the PA system to only buy needs while they are on it.

Quoting jediGert:

Actually, when someone calls you sweetie.. what they actually mean is bitch.  See, I try to be nice and NOT call people bitch but hey, if you want me to be blunt, so be it.  No skin off my nose.

Is not a crappy blender that does SOME things better than no blender at all?

Is not a store bought cake better than no cake?

Why the hell does it even matter to you?  Why do you stick your nose into other people's households and JUDGE them.  Judge yourself.  Do you in fact, cut all corners and costs or do you indulge in stupid things you really don't NEED but find your life sucks without?  You're on the internet after all.  That's not free.  A phone that has a net plan still costs money you could be using for something else.

Stop being a hypocrite.  It makes you look stupid and like you are trying to point the finger of blame away from you which is dumb because when you point your finger, three fingers are pointing back at you.

Quoting moneysaver6:

I am not now nor have I ever been your "sweetie".  I find that when people start to trying to belittle others &/or become condescending that they no longer feel what they say has worth.  Intead, they feel they must somehow make it appear as if they are above or better than the person to whom they are replying.  Your responses will hold much more weight if you don't stoop to such measures.

I appreciate the suggestion to go back and read, but I don't need to do so.  You may not agree with or like my response, but that doesn't mean that I didn't read &/or understand what you said.  It simply means we disagree.  That's okay.  We are on a public online forum.  All of us are "involving" ourselves in other conversations.  It is the very nature of online forums.

I wasn't suggesting you buy a new blender.  I just didn't understand why you were keeping the one you had if it was such a useless appliance.  It was a simple, reasonable question.  (And we'll not get into a discussion about many of those on public assistance & how much money they do or don't have here.  That's a horse for another thread...that's been beat to death.)  For the record, I will not be sending you a new blender.  I saved and sacrificed for mine and you can do the same should you desire to have a good one.

What did I say that would lead you to believe I was worried about your cake baking skills?  What I DID say was that it's not necessary for one to buy a cake in order for their child to have a birthday party.  That's a fact.  I said that someone COULD make a cake.  And they could.  That's a fact.  I also explained how much of a flop my first cake was.  Again, another fact...that has NOTHING to do with you or me being worried about you.  Sorry to disappoint you.  I do love, though, how you say "Understand?" as if you're a mob boss threatening me and I better listen "or else".  Cute. 

What did I say that would lead you to believe that I was worried about how much food you personally need to eat to be full?  I said that ramen doesn't constitute a full meal.  And it doesn't.  That is a simple fact.  It has nothing to do with me being worried about how much you personally eat. 

I'm so sorry that you felt like I was judging you and clearly felt the need to go on the defensive for some reason.  I am sorry that you felt that way, but it had nothing to do with what I said. 

I love how our discussion about one subject in one thread on one online forum leads you to believe that you know who "people like me are" and know everything about "people like me", that I would have an answer "for everything", that you know what "shoes" I have been in...and thus that I'm judging anyone who hasn't been in my "shoes".  I hope you realize how ridiculous that sounds.

You have NO idea who I am or where I have been.  I love, though, how YOU have totally judged me based on where you think I'm from. 

I do appreciate the offer to shove "it" up my vagina.  However, I will politely decline.

Quoting jediGert:

Then I suggest you go back and read a bit sweetie.  Or don't involve yourself in other people's conversations as I don't check to see if someone ELSE is picking up where someone else left off. 

If my blender is that useless.... ok... here's a little mental math for you.... I was on food assistance because our bills were exceeding our income.  That's a negative number.  Where EXACTLY was I supposed to get a new blender?  You buying me a new one?  Wow, that's super nice, I'll send my address.

Stop worrying about my fucking cake baking skills.  They aren't your problem.  Understand?

Stop worrying about how much food I need to eat to be full. Also NOT your problem.  Understand that?

Better yet, mind your own fucking business and stop judging people you don't know and don't know anything about.

I could tell you my entire fucking life story and you would probably call the whole thing an excuse because THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU DO.  People that have an answer for everything even though they personally have no fucking clue about the other person's life say that kind of shit because it's so WAY easier than trying to put themselves in the other person's shoes isn't it? 

It's always easier to just tell yourself the other person is lazy or making excuses or is being selfish rather than try to ACTUALLY understand.  That would require giving a damn and frankly, if you don't give enough of a damn to actually CARE than you honestly don't give enough of a damn about what kind of cake I give my kid for his birthday, you just want to feel better about who YOU are by being a bitch to someone else.

Shove it up your vagina lady.

Quoting moneysaver6:

You don't think I'm making mental connections?  Seriously?  I haven't failed to see anything.  Seems to me that you're full of excuses.  If your blender is that useless, then why do you still even have it?

I don't see where I mentioned rice in any of my previous replies so your rant there is a bit unnecessary.  However, rice IS a healthy, whole grain.  I guarantee you that white rice is healthier than ramen.  Long-grain brown rice would be even healthier.  If you can't afford only brown rice, then you can cook half of each.  But again, I didn't mention rice at all so...

And again...I never said that your child couldn't or shouldn't have a birthday party or cake.  I only said that one COULD be made from scratch.  FYI:  I didn't have a CLUE what I was doing when I made my first cake.  The first one I iced consisted of a bad icing job with homemade powdered sugar icing done while the cake was still hot (it should have been cool...I didn't know that yet) and some of my child's toys as decoration.  The writing on the cake was atrocious.  My 3yr old still loved the cake.  Your 1 yr old wouldn't have had a CLUE what kind of cake he was getting.

I still (and will always) contend that a bowl of ramen is not a complete meal...because it's NOT.

Quoting jediGert:

1. my blender is a POS that couldn't chop an ice cube to save it's life.

2. my son is a year old and recieves food from WIC meaning he gets plenty of food and does not need to eat what we eat plus until a couple weeks ago, he was still BFing.

3. I don't HAVE a family of five, I have a family of 3 and only 2 are adults.  A bowl of ramen for lunch is plenty filling for one person so oohh.. lets see... 40 cents.

4. My point was my kid deserves to have a birthday just like every OTHER kid even though we were and still are pretty danged poor.  Congrats that you rock at cake baking, not everyone is Martha Stewart and can do that.  My frosting abilities are full of fail as well so it would not only be a bad tasting cake, it would be an ugly bad tasting cake.

My point is, the $15 it cost us to buy a cake that was edible and attractive to look at was not a waste of money.  It made my son very happy and he enjoyed it very very much.  In exchange, I chose to eat a handful of very cheap and though not especially nutritious meals, weren't actually any worse for me than your suggested bowl of rice. 

I think YOU fail to see the point of putting my son's smile ahead of the contents of my belly.  my health won't be forever ruined by a couple of bowls of ramen.  Now, if I ate it every day for months on end with nothing else, sure, that can ruin your health, but as a money saving technique once in a while so someone can have something special they won't get for a whole nother year, no, not so much.

I took food assistance because I was breast feeding and needed to eat nutritious foods so my son could grow up healthy.  Had i NOT done that he would have received himself, a diet devoid of nutrition as rice while cheap, is not nutritious in and of itself.  While I COULD have eaten beans and rice it would not have been GOOD for him like a diet of vegies and meat and whole grains were.

I don't know if you just aren't making the mental connections here on this one or you just genuinely think everyone is Martha Stewart and can grow their own grain to mill and make into flour for themselves with enough training.  Either way, your thought process on this strikes me as foolishly focused on a cake.  They aren't going to give you a different amount regardless of what you buy.  We made a lot of really really good decisions about what we bought so that we have a surplus of food right now to get us through the lean times so we already have put the money we recieved to excellent use actually.  having done that, we don't feel like we are bad people for giving our son a nice birthday of cake and ice cream.  Are we also not allowed to offer food to friends and family who drop by our house because that money was for OUR food and not them?  Who does that?  Oh sorry, no snacks for you, it's FA so we can't share, it's illegal.

Quoting moneysaver6:

You only need a blender to make homemade sorbet.  The only ingredients required are fruit or berries, ice, and honey or sugar (optional).

No, I have never bought ramen.  However, I have seen it.  It isn't 20¢ to feed a family of 5.  It's $1 to feed a family of 5.  And ramen isn't an "ENTIRE" meal.  It is a processed carbohydrate.  To be a complete meal, it would need a protein, veggies, &/or fruits.

I don't understand what you mean by sacrificing your own comfort for your child.  How is feeding your child simple-to-make, processed "food" sacrificing your own comfort?  It would take you more time but cost you less (or at least equal) to feed your child healthier.  Spending that time so that your child could eat healthier on a budget would be a sacrifice.

Quoting jediGert:

Well I don't have the equipment to make my own ice cream and I stink at baking cakes. I bet my kid would have just LOVED one of my tough overcooked cakes for his birthday.  YUM YUM!

As for healthy food being cheaper than ramen.... ever BOUGHT ramen?  It's 5 for a dollar.  that's 20 CENTS a meal.  I defy you to make ANY meal that is healthy that is under 20 cents for the ENTIRE meal.

Is it healthy? nope, but I'll sacrifice my own comfort for my kid actually.  Did we eat it every meal? no, but it's a passable lunch as long as you eat something more healthy for dinner.

Quoting moneysaver6:

I am the most frugal of frugal people...I don't consider living on ramen for weeks to be "frugal".  I consider that to be foolish.  It is cheaper to eat healthier.  There's no need for even the most frugal to live on ramen EVER...let alone for weeks on end.

When we were dirt poor, my children had birthday parties.  Those parties consisted of homemade food including a homemade cake and homemade sorbet.  It is possible to have a birthday party for a child while making healthy food choices even if one is poor.

Quoting jediGert:

 ...if someone is frugal enough and willing to live on ramen for weeks to compensate, hey, more power to them!

We used the last of our PA money to pay for my son's birthday food.  Was he supposed to not have a birthday just because we were poor?






Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 17, 2012 at 11:46 AM

She should be.  They sacrificed.  Some of the people in this tree didn't.

Quoting jediGert:

clap... clap... clap...

I hope your arm doesn't get tired or sore, patting yourself on the back.

Quoting moneysaver6:

I am more convinced with each reply you make that you've not actually read what I said.

That being said, I'm not being the least bit hypocritical. I am not now nor have I ever been on public assistance of any kind. When we were struggling, we made sacrifices that many would not make. We do spend more now...because we can. It's our money. We can spend it however we choose.

If we were using someone else's funds to support ourselves, it would be unintegral for us to do anything but be as wise as possible with those funds so as to use as little of them as possible until we could again be self-supporting.
Quoting jediGert:

Actually, when someone calls you sweetie.. what they actually mean is bitch.  See, I try to be nice and NOT call people bitch but hey, if you want me to be blunt, so be it.  No skin off my nose.

Is not a crappy blender that does SOME things better than no blender at all?

Is not a store bought cake better than no cake?

Why the hell does it even matter to you?  Why do you stick your nose into other people's households and JUDGE them.  Judge yourself.  Do you in fact, cut all corners and costs or do you indulge in stupid things you really don't NEED but find your life sucks without?  You're on the internet after all.  That's not free.  A phone that has a net plan still costs money you could be using for something else.

Stop being a hypocrite.  It makes you look stupid and like you are trying to point the finger of blame away from you which is dumb because when you point your finger, three fingers are pointing back at you.


Quoting moneysaver6:

I am not now nor have I ever been your "sweetie".  I find that when people start to trying to belittle others &/or become condescending that they no longer feel what they say has worth.  Intead, they feel they must somehow make it appear as if they are above or better than the person to whom they are replying.  Your responses will hold much more weight if you don't stoop to such measures.

I appreciate the suggestion to go back and read, but I don't need to do so.  You may not agree with or like my response, but that doesn't mean that I didn't read &/or understand what you said.  It simply means we disagree.  That's okay.  We are on a public online forum.  All of us are "involving" ourselves in other conversations.  It is the very nature of online forums.

I wasn't suggesting you buy a new blender.  I just didn't understand why you were keeping the one you had if it was such a useless appliance.  It was a simple, reasonable question.  (And we'll not get into a discussion about many of those on public assistance & how much money they do or don't have here.  That's a horse for another thread...that's been beat to death.)  For the record, I will not be sending you a new blender.  I saved and sacrificed for mine and you can do the same should you desire to have a good one.

What did I say that would lead you to believe I was worried about your cake baking skills?  What I DID say was that it's not necessary for one to buy a cake in order for their child to have a birthday party.  That's a fact.  I said that someone COULD make a cake.  And they could.  That's a fact.  I also explained how much of a flop my first cake was.  Again, another fact...that has NOTHING to do with you or me being worried about you.  Sorry
to disappoint you.  I do love, though, how you say "Understand?" as if
you're a mob boss threatening me and I better listen "or else".  Cute. 

What did I say that would lead you to believe that I was worried about how much food you personally need to eat to be full?  I said that ramen doesn't constitute a full meal.  And it doesn't.  That is a simple fact.  It has nothing to do with me being worried about how much you personally eat. 

I'm so sorry that you felt like I was judging you and clearly felt the need to go on the defensive for some reason.  I am sorry that you felt that way, but it had nothing to do with what I said. 

I love how our discussion about one subject in one thread on one online forum leads you to believe that you know who "people like me are" and know everything about "people like me", that I would have an answer "for everything", that you know what "shoes" I have been in...and thus that I'm judging anyone who hasn't been in my "shoes".  I hope you realize how ridiculous that sounds.

You have NO idea who I am or where I have been.  I love, though, how YOU have totally judged me based on where you think I'm from. 

I do appreciate the offer to shove "it" up my vagina.  However, I will politely decline.

Quoting jediGert:

Then I suggest you go back and read a bit sweetie.  Or don't involve yourself in other people's conversations as I don't check to see if someone ELSE is picking up where someone else left off. 

If my blender is that useless.... ok... here's a little mental math for you.... I was on food assistance because our bills were exceeding our income.  That's a negative number.  Where EXACTLY was I supposed to get a new blender?  You buying me a new one?  Wow, that's super nice, I'll send my address.

Stop worrying about my fucking cake baking skills.  They aren't your problem.  Understand?

Stop worrying about how much food I need to eat to be full. Also NOT your problem.  Understand that?

Better yet, mind your own fucking business and stop judging people you don't know and don't know anything about.

I could tell you my entire fucking life story and you would probably call the whole thing an excuse because THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU DO.  People that have an answer for everything even though they personally have no fucking clue about the other person's life say that kind of shit because it's so WAY easier than trying to put themselves in the other person's shoes isn't it? 

It's always easier to just tell yourself the other person is lazy or making excuses or is being selfish rather than try to ACTUALLY understand.  That would require giving a damn and frankly, if you don't give enough of a damn to actually CARE than you honestly don't give enough of a damn about what kind of cake I give my kid for his birthday, you just want to feel better about who YOU are by being a bitch to someone else.

Shove it up your vagina lady.


Quoting moneysaver6:

You don't think I'm making mental connections?  Seriously?  I haven't failed to see anything.  Seems to me that you're full of excuses.  If your blender is that useless, then why do you still even have it?

I don't see where I mentioned rice in any of my previous replies so your rant there is a bit unnecessary.  However, rice IS a healthy, whole grain.  I guarantee you that white rice is healthier than ramen.  Long-grain brown rice would be even healthier.  If you can't afford only brown rice, then you can cook half of each.  But again, I didn't mention rice at all so...

And again...I never said that your child couldn't or shouldn't have a birthday party or cake.  I only said that one COULD be made from scratch.  FYI:  I didn't have a CLUE what I was doing when I made my first cake.  The first one I iced consisted of a bad icing job with homemade powdered sugar icing done while the cake was still hot (it should have been cool...I didn't know that yet) and some of my child's toys as decoration.  The writing on the cake was atrocious.  My 3yr old still loved the cake.  Your 1 yr old wouldn't have had a CLUE what kind of cake he was getting.

I still (and will always) contend that a bowl of ramen is not a complete meal...because it's NOT.

Quoting jediGert:

1. my blender is a POS that couldn't chop an ice cube to save it's life.

2. my son is a year old and recieves food from WIC meaning he gets plenty of food and does not need to eat what we eat plus until a couple weeks ago, he was still BFing.

3. I don't HAVE a family of five, I have a family of 3 and only 2 are adults.  A bowl of ramen for lunch is plenty filling for one person so oohh.. lets see... 40 cents.

4. My point was my kid deserves to have a birthday just like every OTHER kid even though we were and still are pretty danged poor.  Congrats that you rock at cake baking, not everyone is Martha Stewart and can do that.  My frosting abilities are full of fail as well so it would not only be a bad tasting cake, it would be an ugly bad tasting cake.

My point is, the $15 it cost us to buy a cake that was edible and attractive to look at was not a waste of money.  It made my son very happy and he enjoyed it very very much.  In exchange, I chose to eat a handful of very cheap and though not especially nutritious meals, weren't actually any worse for me than your suggested bowl of rice. 

I think YOU fail to see the point of putting my son's smile ahead of the contents of my belly.  my health won't be forever ruined by a couple of bowls of ramen.  Now, if I ate it every day for months on end with nothing else, sure, that can ruin your health, but as a money saving technique once in a while so someone can have something special they won't get for a whole nother year, no, not so much.

I took food assistance because I was breast feeding and needed to eat nutritious foods so my son could grow up healthy.  Had i NOT done that he would have received himself, a diet devoid of nutrition as rice while cheap, is not nutritious in and of itself.  While I COULD have eaten beans and rice it would not have been GOOD for him like a diet of vegies and meat and whole grains were.

I don't know if you just aren't making the mental connections here on this one or you just genuinely think everyone is Martha Stewart and can grow their own grain to mill and make into flour for themselves with enough training.  Either way, your thought process on this strikes me as foolishly focused on a cake.  They aren't going to give you a different amount regardless of what you buy.  We made a lot of really really good decisions about what we bought so that we have a surplus of food right now to get us through the lean times so we already have put the money we recieved to excellent use actually.  having done that, we don't feel like we are bad people for giving our son a nice birthday of cake and ice cream.  Are we also not allowed to offer food to friends and family who drop by our house because that money was for OUR food and not them?  Who does that?  Oh sorry, no snacks for you, it's FA so we can't share, it's illegal.


Quoting moneysaver6:

You only need a blender to make homemade sorbet.  The only ingredients required are fruit or berries, ice, and honey or sugar (optional).

No, I have never bought ramen.  However, I have seen it.  It isn't 20¢ to feed a family of 5.  It's $1 to feed a family of 5.  And ramen isn't an "ENTIRE" meal.  It is a processed carbohydrate.  To be a complete meal, it would need a protein, veggies, &/or fruits.

I don't understand what you mean by sacrificing your own comfort for your child.  How is feeding your child simple-to-make, processed "food" sacrificing your own comfort?  It would take you more time but cost you less (or at least equal) to feed your child healthier.  Spending that time so that your child could eat healthier on a budget would be a sacrifice.

Quoting jediGert:

Well I don't have the equipment to make my own ice cream and I stink at baking cakes. I bet my kid would have just LOVED one of my tough overcooked cakes for his birthday.  YUM YUM!

As for healthy food being cheaper than ramen.... ever BOUGHT ramen?  It's 5 for a dollar.  that's 20 CENTS a meal.  I defy you to make ANY meal that is healthy that is under 20 cents for the ENTIRE meal.

Is it healthy? nope, but I'll sacrifice my own comfort for my kid actually.  Did we eat it every meal? no, but it's a passable lunch as long as you eat something more healthy for dinner.




Quoting moneysaver6:

I am the most frugal of frugal people...I don't consider living on ramen for weeks to be "frugal".  I consider that to be foolish.  It is cheaper to eat healthier.  There's no need for even the most frugal to live on ramen EVER...let alone for weeks on end.

When we were dirt poor, my children had birthday parties.  Those parties consisted of homemade food including a homemade cake and homemade sorbet.  It is possible to have a birthday party for a child while making healthy food choices even if one is poor.

Quoting jediGert:

 ...if someone is frugal enough and willing to live on ramen for weeks to compensate, hey, more power to them!

We used the last of our PA money to pay for my son's birthday food.  Was he supposed to not have a birthday just because we were poor?





jediGert
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 11:58 AM

And lots of them like me did and still had to take PA anyways.  Life isn't as black and white as people want it to be.  I NEVER thought in a million years that I would EVER have to humble myself and ask for food assistance but it was that or my family did not eat as we couldn't even cover the bills and it was hardly like we were living high on the hog as the hog was long gone.

It's really easy to feel good about yourself and better than other people because YOU survived without it BUT a lot of the people who take it did so because they were worse off than you in the first place.  Frankly, had my mom's house not been in probate for over a year, we wouldn't even have had a roof over our heads let alone food.  Sure, we could have sold everything and gotten a one room section 8 style apartment and to what end?  it's not like my husband was going to be underemployed forever, he worked his ass off to find a better job as quickly as he could.  The whole time he was looking I looked for jobs too actually, even though I was very pregnant when he lost his job. 

You ave to be really bad off to even QUALIFY for PA which is why I get very offended when people judge people on it.  That's another human being you are telling they aren't good enough to eat cookies with the rest of us.

I honestly hope you an all the people who judge the poor never have to be so yourselves... you will really really really hate being treated and talked to and talked about the way you have others... then again, perhaps that would just be karma.

Quoting Anonymous:

She should be.  They sacrificed.  Some of the people in this tree didn't.

Quoting jediGert:

clap... clap... clap...

I hope your arm doesn't get tired or sore, patting yourself on the back.

Quoting moneysaver6:

I am more convinced with each reply you make that you've not actually read what I said.

That being said, I'm not being the least bit hypocritical. I am not now nor have I ever been on public assistance of any kind. When we were struggling, we made sacrifices that many would not make. We do spend more now...because we can. It's our money. We can spend it however we choose.

If we were using someone else's funds to support ourselves, it would be unintegral for us to do anything but be as wise as possible with those funds so as to use as little of them as possible until we could again be self-supporting.
Quoting jediGert:

Actually, when someone calls you sweetie.. what they actually mean is bitch.  See, I try to be nice and NOT call people bitch but hey, if you want me to be blunt, so be it.  No skin off my nose.

Is not a crappy blender that does SOME things better than no blender at all?

Is not a store bought cake better than no cake?

Why the hell does it even matter to you?  Why do you stick your nose into other people's households and JUDGE them.  Judge yourself.  Do you in fact, cut all corners and costs or do you indulge in stupid things you really don't NEED but find your life sucks without?  You're on the internet after all.  That's not free.  A phone that has a net plan still costs money you could be using for something else.

Stop being a hypocrite.  It makes you look stupid and like you are trying to point the finger of blame away from you which is dumb because when you point your finger, three fingers are pointing back at you.


Quoting moneysaver6:

I am not now nor have I ever been your "sweetie".  I find that when people start to trying to belittle others &/or become condescending that they no longer feel what they say has worth.  Intead, they feel they must somehow make it appear as if they are above or better than the person to whom they are replying.  Your responses will hold much more weight if you don't stoop to such measures.

I appreciate the suggestion to go back and read, but I don't need to do so.  You may not agree with or like my response, but that doesn't mean that I didn't read &/or understand what you said.  It simply means we disagree.  That's okay.  We are on a public online forum.  All of us are "involving" ourselves in other conversations.  It is the very nature of online forums.

I wasn't suggesting you buy a new blender.  I just didn't understand why you were keeping the one you had if it was such a useless appliance.  It was a simple, reasonable question.  (And we'll not get into a discussion about many of those on public assistance & how much money they do or don't have here.  That's a horse for another thread...that's been beat to death.)  For the record, I will not be sending you a new blender.  I saved and sacrificed for mine and you can do the same should you desire to have a good one.

What did I say that would lead you to believe I was worried about your cake baking skills?  What I DID say was that it's not necessary for one to buy a cake in order for their child to have a birthday party.  That's a fact.  I said that someone COULD make a cake.  And they could.  That's a fact.  I also explained how much of a flop my first cake was.  Again, another fact...that has NOTHING to do with you or me being worried about you.  Sorry
to disappoint you.  I do love, though, how you say "Understand?" as if
you're a mob boss threatening me and I better listen "or else".  Cute. 

What did I say that would lead you to believe that I was worried about how much food you personally need to eat to be full?  I said that ramen doesn't constitute a full meal.  And it doesn't.  That is a simple fact.  It has nothing to do with me being worried about how much you personally eat. 

I'm so sorry that you felt like I was judging you and clearly felt the need to go on the defensive for some reason.  I am sorry that you felt that way, but it had nothing to do with what I said. 

I love how our discussion about one subject in one thread on one online forum leads you to believe that you know who "people like me are" and know everything about "people like me", that I would have an answer "for everything", that you know what "shoes" I have been in...and thus that I'm judging anyone who hasn't been in my "shoes".  I hope you realize how ridiculous that sounds.

You have NO idea who I am or where I have been.  I love, though, how YOU have totally judged me based on where you think I'm from. 

I do appreciate the offer to shove "it" up my vagina.  However, I will politely decline.

Quoting jediGert:

Then I suggest you go back and read a bit sweetie.  Or don't involve yourself in other people's conversations as I don't check to see if someone ELSE is picking up where someone else left off. 

If my blender is that useless.... ok... here's a little mental math for you.... I was on food assistance because our bills were exceeding our income.  That's a negative number.  Where EXACTLY was I supposed to get a new blender?  You buying me a new one?  Wow, that's super nice, I'll send my address.

Stop worrying about my fucking cake baking skills.  They aren't your problem.  Understand?

Stop worrying about how much food I need to eat to be full. Also NOT your problem.  Understand that?

Better yet, mind your own fucking business and stop judging people you don't know and don't know anything about.

I could tell you my entire fucking life story and you would probably call the whole thing an excuse because THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU DO.  People that have an answer for everything even though they personally have no fucking clue about the other person's life say that kind of shit because it's so WAY easier than trying to put themselves in the other person's shoes isn't it? 

It's always easier to just tell yourself the other person is lazy or making excuses or is being selfish rather than try to ACTUALLY understand.  That would require giving a damn and frankly, if you don't give enough of a damn to actually CARE than you honestly don't give enough of a damn about what kind of cake I give my kid for his birthday, you just want to feel better about who YOU are by being a bitch to someone else.

Shove it up your vagina lady.


Quoting moneysaver6:

You don't think I'm making mental connections?  Seriously?  I haven't failed to see anything.  Seems to me that you're full of excuses.  If your blender is that useless, then why do you still even have it?

I don't see where I mentioned rice in any of my previous replies so your rant there is a bit unnecessary.  However, rice IS a healthy, whole grain.  I guarantee you that white rice is healthier than ramen.  Long-grain brown rice would be even healthier.  If you can't afford only brown rice, then you can cook half of each.  But again, I didn't mention rice at all so...

And again...I never said that your child couldn't or shouldn't have a birthday party or cake.  I only said that one COULD be made from scratch.  FYI:  I didn't have a CLUE what I was doing when I made my first cake.  The first one I iced consisted of a bad icing job with homemade powdered sugar icing done while the cake was still hot (it should have been cool...I didn't know that yet) and some of my child's toys as decoration.  The writing on the cake was atrocious.  My 3yr old still loved the cake.  Your 1 yr old wouldn't have had a CLUE what kind of cake he was getting.

I still (and will always) contend that a bowl of ramen is not a complete meal...because it's NOT.

Quoting jediGert:

1. my blender is a POS that couldn't chop an ice cube to save it's life.

2. my son is a year old and recieves food from WIC meaning he gets plenty of food and does not need to eat what we eat plus until a couple weeks ago, he was still BFing.

3. I don't HAVE a family of five, I have a family of 3 and only 2 are adults.  A bowl of ramen for lunch is plenty filling for one person so oohh.. lets see... 40 cents.

4. My point was my kid deserves to have a birthday just like every OTHER kid even though we were and still are pretty danged poor.  Congrats that you rock at cake baking, not everyone is Martha Stewart and can do that.  My frosting abilities are full of fail as well so it would not only be a bad tasting cake, it would be an ugly bad tasting cake.

My point is, the $15 it cost us to buy a cake that was edible and attractive to look at was not a waste of money.  It made my son very happy and he enjoyed it very very much.  In exchange, I chose to eat a handful of very cheap and though not especially nutritious meals, weren't actually any worse for me than your suggested bowl of rice. 

I think YOU fail to see the point of putting my son's smile ahead of the contents of my belly.  my health won't be forever ruined by a couple of bowls of ramen.  Now, if I ate it every day for months on end with nothing else, sure, that can ruin your health, but as a money saving technique once in a while so someone can have something special they won't get for a whole nother year, no, not so much.

I took food assistance because I was breast feeding and needed to eat nutritious foods so my son could grow up healthy.  Had i NOT done that he would have received himself, a diet devoid of nutrition as rice while cheap, is not nutritious in and of itself.  While I COULD have eaten beans and rice it would not have been GOOD for him like a diet of vegies and meat and whole grains were.

I don't know if you just aren't making the mental connections here on this one or you just genuinely think everyone is Martha Stewart and can grow their own grain to mill and make into flour for themselves with enough training.  Either way, your thought process on this strikes me as foolishly focused on a cake.  They aren't going to give you a different amount regardless of what you buy.  We made a lot of really really good decisions about what we bought so that we have a surplus of food right now to get us through the lean times so we already have put the money we recieved to excellent use actually.  having done that, we don't feel like we are bad people for giving our son a nice birthday of cake and ice cream.  Are we also not allowed to offer food to friends and family who drop by our house because that money was for OUR food and not them?  Who does that?  Oh sorry, no snacks for you, it's FA so we can't share, it's illegal.


Quoting moneysaver6:

You only need a blender to make homemade sorbet.  The only ingredients required are fruit or berries, ice, and honey or sugar (optional).

No, I have never bought ramen.  However, I have seen it.  It isn't 20¢ to feed a family of 5.  It's $1 to feed a family of 5.  And ramen isn't an "ENTIRE" meal.  It is a processed carbohydrate.  To be a complete meal, it would need a protein, veggies, &/or fruits.

I don't understand what you mean by sacrificing your own comfort for your child.  How is feeding your child simple-to-make, processed "food" sacrificing your own comfort?  It would take you more time but cost you less (or at least equal) to feed your child healthier.  Spending that time so that your child could eat healthier on a budget would be a sacrifice.

Quoting jediGert:

Well I don't have the equipment to make my own ice cream and I stink at baking cakes. I bet my kid would have just LOVED one of my tough overcooked cakes for his birthday.  YUM YUM!

As for healthy food being cheaper than ramen.... ever BOUGHT ramen?  It's 5 for a dollar.  that's 20 CENTS a meal.  I defy you to make ANY meal that is healthy that is under 20 cents for the ENTIRE meal.

Is it healthy? nope, but I'll sacrifice my own comfort for my kid actually.  Did we eat it every meal? no, but it's a passable lunch as long as you eat something more healthy for dinner.




Quoting moneysaver6:

I am the most frugal of frugal people...I don't consider living on ramen for weeks to be "frugal".  I consider that to be foolish.  It is cheaper to eat healthier.  There's no need for even the most frugal to live on ramen EVER...let alone for weeks on end.

When we were dirt poor, my children had birthday parties.  Those parties consisted of homemade food including a homemade cake and homemade sorbet.  It is possible to have a birthday party for a child while making healthy food choices even if one is poor.

Quoting jediGert:

 ...if someone is frugal enough and willing to live on ramen for weeks to compensate, hey, more power to them!

We used the last of our PA money to pay for my son's birthday food.  Was he supposed to not have a birthday just because we were poor?






Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 17, 2012 at 12:44 PM

Like I said, sob story.

Quoting jediGert:

And lots of them like me did and still had to take PA anyways.  Life isn't as black and white as people want it to be.  I NEVER thought in a million years that I would EVER have to humble myself and ask for food assistance but it was that or my family did not eat as we couldn't even cover the bills and it was hardly like we were living high on the hog as the hog was long gone.

It's really easy to feel good about yourself and better than other people because YOU survived without it BUT a lot of the people who take it did so because they were worse off than you in the first place.  Frankly, had my mom's house not been in probate for over a year, we wouldn't even have had a roof over our heads let alone food.  Sure, we could have sold everything and gotten a one room section 8 style apartment and to what end?  it's not like my husband was going to be underemployed forever, he worked his ass off to find a better job as quickly as he could.  The whole time he was looking I looked for jobs too actually, even though I was very pregnant when he lost his job. 

You ave to be really bad off to even QUALIFY for PA which is why I get very offended when people judge people on it.  That's another human being you are telling they aren't good enough to eat cookies with the rest of us.

I honestly hope you an all the people who judge the poor never have to be so yourselves... you will really really really hate being treated and talked to and talked about the way you have others... then again, perhaps that would just be karma.

Quoting Anonymous:

She should be.  They sacrificed.  Some of the people in this tree didn't.

Quoting jediGert:

clap... clap... clap...

I hope your arm doesn't get tired or sore, patting yourself on the back.

Quoting moneysaver6:

I am more convinced with each reply you make that you've not actually read what I said.

That being said, I'm not being the least bit hypocritical. I am not now nor have I ever been on public assistance of any kind. When we were struggling, we made sacrifices that many would not make. We do spend more now...because we can. It's our money. We can spend it however we choose.

If we were using someone else's funds to support ourselves, it would be unintegral for us to do anything but be as wise as possible with those funds so as to use as little of them as possible until we could again be self-supporting.
Quoting jediGert:

Actually, when someone calls you sweetie.. what they actually mean is bitch.  See, I try to be nice and NOT call people bitch but hey, if you want me to be blunt, so be it.  No skin off my nose.

Is not a crappy blender that does SOME things better than no blender at all?

Is not a store bought cake better than no cake?

Why the hell does it even matter to you?  Why do you stick your nose into other people's households and JUDGE them.  Judge yourself.  Do you in fact, cut all corners and costs or do you indulge in stupid things you really don't NEED but find your life sucks without?  You're on the internet after all.  That's not free.  A phone that has a net plan still costs money you could be using for something else.

Stop being a hypocrite.  It makes you look stupid and like you are trying to point the finger of blame away from you which is dumb because when you point your finger, three fingers are pointing back at you.


Quoting moneysaver6:

I am not now nor have I ever been your "sweetie".  I find that when people start to trying to belittle others &/or become condescending that they no longer feel what they say has worth.  Intead, they feel they must somehow make it appear as if they are above or better than the person to whom they are replying.  Your responses will hold much more weight if you don't stoop to such measures.

I appreciate the suggestion to go back and read, but I don't need to do so.  You may not agree with or like my response, but that doesn't mean that I didn't read &/or understand what you said.  It simply means we disagree.  That's okay.  We are on a public online forum.  All of us are "involving" ourselves in other conversations.  It is the very nature of online forums.

I wasn't suggesting you buy a new blender.  I just didn't understand why you were keeping the one you had if it was such a useless appliance.  It was a simple, reasonable question.  (And we'll not get into a discussion about many of those on public assistance & how much money they do or don't have here.  That's a horse for another thread...that's been beat to death.)  For the record, I will not be sending you a new blender.  I saved and sacrificed for mine and you can do the same should you desire to have a good one.

What did I say that would lead you to believe I was worried about your cake baking skills?  What I DID say was that it's not necessary for one to buy a cake in order for their child to have a birthday party.  That's a fact.  I said that someone COULD make a cake.  And they could.  That's a fact.  I also explained how much of a flop my first cake was.  Again, another fact...that has NOTHING to do with you or me being worried about you.  Sorry
to disappoint you.  I do love, though, how you say "Understand?" as if
you're a mob boss threatening me and I better listen "or else".  Cute. 

What did I say that would lead you to believe that I was worried about how much food you personally need to eat to be full?  I said that ramen doesn't constitute a full meal.  And it doesn't.  That is a simple fact.  It has nothing to do with me being worried about how much you personally eat. 

I'm so sorry that you felt like I was judging you and clearly felt the need to go on the defensive for some reason.  I am sorry that you felt that way, but it had nothing to do with what I said. 

I love how our discussion about one subject in one thread on one online forum leads you to believe that you know who "people like me are" and know everything about "people like me", that I would have an answer "for everything", that you know what "shoes" I have been in...and thus that I'm judging anyone who hasn't been in my "shoes".  I hope you realize how ridiculous that sounds.

You have NO idea who I am or where I have been.  I love, though, how YOU have totally judged me based on where you think I'm from. 

I do appreciate the offer to shove "it" up my vagina.  However, I will politely decline.

Quoting jediGert:

Then I suggest you go back and read a bit sweetie.  Or don't involve yourself in other people's conversations as I don't check to see if someone ELSE is picking up where someone else left off. 

If my blender is that useless.... ok... here's a little mental math for you.... I was on food assistance because our bills were exceeding our income.  That's a negative number.  Where EXACTLY was I supposed to get a new blender?  You buying me a new one?  Wow, that's super nice, I'll send my address.

Stop worrying about my fucking cake baking skills.  They aren't your problem.  Understand?

Stop worrying about how much food I need to eat to be full. Also NOT your problem.  Understand that?

Better yet, mind your own fucking business and stop judging people you don't know and don't know anything about.

I could tell you my entire fucking life story and you would probably call the whole thing an excuse because THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU DO.  People that have an answer for everything even though they personally have no fucking clue about the other person's life say that kind of shit because it's so WAY easier than trying to put themselves in the other person's shoes isn't it? 

It's always easier to just tell yourself the other person is lazy or making excuses or is being selfish rather than try to ACTUALLY understand.  That would require giving a damn and frankly, if you don't give enough of a damn to actually CARE than you honestly don't give enough of a damn about what kind of cake I give my kid for his birthday, you just want to feel better about who YOU are by being a bitch to someone else.

Shove it up your vagina lady.


Quoting moneysaver6:

You don't think I'm making mental connections?  Seriously?  I haven't failed to see anything.  Seems to me that you're full of excuses.  If your blender is that useless, then why do you still even have it?

I don't see where I mentioned rice in any of my previous replies so your rant there is a bit unnecessary.  However, rice IS a healthy, whole grain.  I guarantee you that white rice is healthier than ramen.  Long-grain brown rice would be even healthier.  If you can't afford only brown rice, then you can cook half of each.  But again, I didn't mention rice at all so...

And again...I never said that your child couldn't or shouldn't have a birthday party or cake.  I only said that one COULD be made from scratch.  FYI:  I didn't have a CLUE what I was doing when I made my first cake.  The first one I iced consisted of a bad icing job with homemade powdered sugar icing done while the cake was still hot (it should have been cool...I didn't know that yet) and some of my child's toys as decoration.  The writing on the cake was atrocious.  My 3yr old still loved the cake.  Your 1 yr old wouldn't have had a CLUE what kind of cake he was getting.

I still (and will always) contend that a bowl of ramen is not a complete meal...because it's NOT.

Quoting jediGert:

1. my blender is a POS that couldn't chop an ice cube to save it's life.

2. my son is a year old and recieves food from WIC meaning he gets plenty of food and does not need to eat what we eat plus until a couple weeks ago, he was still BFing.

3. I don't HAVE a family of five, I have a family of 3 and only 2 are adults.  A bowl of ramen for lunch is plenty filling for one person so oohh.. lets see... 40 cents.

4. My point was my kid deserves to have a birthday just like every OTHER kid even though we were and still are pretty danged poor.  Congrats that you rock at cake baking, not everyone is Martha Stewart and can do that.  My frosting abilities are full of fail as well so it would not only be a bad tasting cake, it would be an ugly bad tasting cake.

My point is, the $15 it cost us to buy a cake that was edible and attractive to look at was not a waste of money.  It made my son very happy and he enjoyed it very very much.  In exchange, I chose to eat a handful of very cheap and though not especially nutritious meals, weren't actually any worse for me than your suggested bowl of rice. 

I think YOU fail to see the point of putting my son's smile ahead of the contents of my belly.  my health won't be forever ruined by a couple of bowls of ramen.  Now, if I ate it every day for months on end with nothing else, sure, that can ruin your health, but as a money saving technique once in a while so someone can have something special they won't get for a whole nother year, no, not so much.

I took food assistance because I was breast feeding and needed to eat nutritious foods so my son could grow up healthy.  Had i NOT done that he would have received himself, a diet devoid of nutrition as rice while cheap, is not nutritious in and of itself.  While I COULD have eaten beans and rice it would not have been GOOD for him like a diet of vegies and meat and whole grains were.

I don't know if you just aren't making the mental connections here on this one or you just genuinely think everyone is Martha Stewart and can grow their own grain to mill and make into flour for themselves with enough training.  Either way, your thought process on this strikes me as foolishly focused on a cake.  They aren't going to give you a different amount regardless of what you buy.  We made a lot of really really good decisions about what we bought so that we have a surplus of food right now to get us through the lean times so we already have put the money we recieved to excellent use actually.  having done that, we don't feel like we are bad people for giving our son a nice birthday of cake and ice cream.  Are we also not allowed to offer food to friends and family who drop by our house because that money was for OUR food and not them?  Who does that?  Oh sorry, no snacks for you, it's FA so we can't share, it's illegal.


Quoting moneysaver6:

You only need a blender to make homemade sorbet.  The only ingredients required are fruit or berries, ice, and honey or sugar (optional).

No, I have never bought ramen.  However, I have seen it.  It isn't 20¢ to feed a family of 5.  It's $1 to feed a family of 5.  And ramen isn't an "ENTIRE" meal.  It is a processed carbohydrate.  To be a complete meal, it would need a protein, veggies, &/or fruits.

I don't understand what you mean by sacrificing your own comfort for your child.  How is feeding your child simple-to-make, processed "food" sacrificing your own comfort?  It would take you more time but cost you less (or at least equal) to feed your child healthier.  Spending that time so that your child could eat healthier on a budget would be a sacrifice.

Quoting jediGert:

Well I don't have the equipment to make my own ice cream and I stink at baking cakes. I bet my kid would have just LOVED one of my tough overcooked cakes for his birthday.  YUM YUM!

As for healthy food being cheaper than ramen.... ever BOUGHT ramen?  It's 5 for a dollar.  that's 20 CENTS a meal.  I defy you to make ANY meal that is healthy that is under 20 cents for the ENTIRE meal.

Is it healthy? nope, but I'll sacrifice my own comfort for my kid actually.  Did we eat it every meal? no, but it's a passable lunch as long as you eat something more healthy for dinner.




Quoting moneysaver6:

I am the most frugal of frugal people...I don't consider living on ramen for weeks to be "frugal".  I consider that to be foolish.  It is cheaper to eat healthier.  There's no need for even the most frugal to live on ramen EVER...let alone for weeks on end.

When we were dirt poor, my children had birthday parties.  Those parties consisted of homemade food including a homemade cake and homemade sorbet.  It is possible to have a birthday party for a child while making healthy food choices even if one is poor.

Quoting jediGert:

 ...if someone is frugal enough and willing to live on ramen for weeks to compensate, hey, more power to them!

We used the last of our PA money to pay for my son's birthday food.  Was he supposed to not have a birthday just because we were poor?







jediGert
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 1:05 PM

*pat pat pat*

That's all right, you go on believing that in your imaginary ivory tower where nothing bad happens to people.  At least I didn't have to eat crow when my life tanked.  I already got it that sometimes people fall on rough times through no fault of their own and had empathy for them.  You on the other hand are going to get laughed at by the very people you criticize.

I doubt very much YOU are going to feel like YOU should give up your car (I did) and buy cloths second hand (I did) and give up your social life except stuff you could do for free (as I did).  Nope, you will be one of those idiots in a fur coat resenting having to be there at all.

Wouldn't shock me if folks spit on you behind your back though.  You deserve it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Like I said, sob story.

Quoting jediGert:

And lots of them like me did and still had to take PA anyways.  Life isn't as black and white as people want it to be.  I NEVER thought in a million years that I would EVER have to humble myself and ask for food assistance but it was that or my family did not eat as we couldn't even cover the bills and it was hardly like we were living high on the hog as the hog was long gone.

It's really easy to feel good about yourself and better than other people because YOU survived without it BUT a lot of the people who take it did so because they were worse off than you in the first place.  Frankly, had my mom's house not been in probate for over a year, we wouldn't even have had a roof over our heads let alone food.  Sure, we could have sold everything and gotten a one room section 8 style apartment and to what end?  it's not like my husband was going to be underemployed forever, he worked his ass off to find a better job as quickly as he could.  The whole time he was looking I looked for jobs too actually, even though I was very pregnant when he lost his job. 

You ave to be really bad off to even QUALIFY for PA which is why I get very offended when people judge people on it.  That's another human being you are telling they aren't good enough to eat cookies with the rest of us.

I honestly hope you an all the people who judge the poor never have to be so yourselves... you will really really really hate being treated and talked to and talked about the way you have others... then again, perhaps that would just be karma.

Quoting Anonymous:

She should be.  They sacrificed.  Some of the people in this tree didn't.

Quoting jediGert:

clap... clap... clap...

I hope your arm doesn't get tired or sore, patting yourself on the back.

Quoting moneysaver6:

I am more convinced with each reply you make that you've not actually read what I said.

That being said, I'm not being the least bit hypocritical. I am not now nor have I ever been on public assistance of any kind. When we were struggling, we made sacrifices that many would not make. We do spend more now...because we can. It's our money. We can spend it however we choose.

If we were using someone else's funds to support ourselves, it would be unintegral for us to do anything but be as wise as possible with those funds so as to use as little of them as possible until we could again be self-supporting.
Quoting jediGert:

Actually, when someone calls you sweetie.. what they actually mean is bitch.  See, I try to be nice and NOT call people bitch but hey, if you want me to be blunt, so be it.  No skin off my nose.

Is not a crappy blender that does SOME things better than no blender at all?

Is not a store bought cake better than no cake?

Why the hell does it even matter to you?  Why do you stick your nose into other people's households and JUDGE them.  Judge yourself.  Do you in fact, cut all corners and costs or do you indulge in stupid things you really don't NEED but find your life sucks without?  You're on the internet after all.  That's not free.  A phone that has a net plan still costs money you could be using for something else.

Stop being a hypocrite.  It makes you look stupid and like you are trying to point the finger of blame away from you which is dumb because when you point your finger, three fingers are pointing back at you.


Quoting moneysaver6:

I am not now nor have I ever been your "sweetie".  I find that when people start to trying to belittle others &/or become condescending that they no longer feel what they say has worth.  Intead, they feel they must somehow make it appear as if they are above or better than the person to whom they are replying.  Your responses will hold much more weight if you don't stoop to such measures.

I appreciate the suggestion to go back and read, but I don't need to do so.  You may not agree with or like my response, but that doesn't mean that I didn't read &/or understand what you said.  It simply means we disagree.  That's okay.  We are on a public online forum.  All of us are "involving" ourselves in other conversations.  It is the very nature of online forums.

I wasn't suggesting you buy a new blender.  I just didn't understand why you were keeping the one you had if it was such a useless appliance.  It was a simple, reasonable question.  (And we'll not get into a discussion about many of those on public assistance & how much money they do or don't have here.  That's a horse for another thread...that's been beat to death.)  For the record, I will not be sending you a new blender.  I saved and sacrificed for mine and you can do the same should you desire to have a good one.

What did I say that would lead you to believe I was worried about your cake baking skills?  What I DID say was that it's not necessary for one to buy a cake in order for their child to have a birthday party.  That's a fact.  I said that someone COULD make a cake.  And they could.  That's a fact.  I also explained how much of a flop my first cake was.  Again, another fact...that has NOTHING to do with you or me being worried about you.  Sorry
to disappoint you.  I do love, though, how you say "Understand?" as if
you're a mob boss threatening me and I better listen "or else".  Cute. 

What did I say that would lead you to believe that I was worried about how much food you personally need to eat to be full?  I said that ramen doesn't constitute a full meal.  And it doesn't.  That is a simple fact.  It has nothing to do with me being worried about how much you personally eat. 

I'm so sorry that you felt like I was judging you and clearly felt the need to go on the defensive for some reason.  I am sorry that you felt that way, but it had nothing to do with what I said. 

I love how our discussion about one subject in one thread on one online forum leads you to believe that you know who "people like me are" and know everything about "people like me", that I would have an answer "for everything", that you know what "shoes" I have been in...and thus that I'm judging anyone who hasn't been in my "shoes".  I hope you realize how ridiculous that sounds.

You have NO idea who I am or where I have been.  I love, though, how YOU have totally judged me based on where you think I'm from. 

I do appreciate the offer to shove "it" up my vagina.  However, I will politely decline.

Quoting jediGert:

Then I suggest you go back and read a bit sweetie.  Or don't involve yourself in other people's conversations as I don't check to see if someone ELSE is picking up where someone else left off. 

If my blender is that useless.... ok... here's a little mental math for you.... I was on food assistance because our bills were exceeding our income.  That's a negative number.  Where EXACTLY was I supposed to get a new blender?  You buying me a new one?  Wow, that's super nice, I'll send my address.

Stop worrying about my fucking cake baking skills.  They aren't your problem.  Understand?

Stop worrying about how much food I need to eat to be full. Also NOT your problem.  Understand that?

Better yet, mind your own fucking business and stop judging people you don't know and don't know anything about.

I could tell you my entire fucking life story and you would probably call the whole thing an excuse because THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU DO.  People that have an answer for everything even though they personally have no fucking clue about the other person's life say that kind of shit because it's so WAY easier than trying to put themselves in the other person's shoes isn't it? 

It's always easier to just tell yourself the other person is lazy or making excuses or is being selfish rather than try to ACTUALLY understand.  That would require giving a damn and frankly, if you don't give enough of a damn to actually CARE than you honestly don't give enough of a damn about what kind of cake I give my kid for his birthday, you just want to feel better about who YOU are by being a bitch to someone else.

Shove it up your vagina lady.


Quoting moneysaver6:

You don't think I'm making mental connections?  Seriously?  I haven't failed to see anything.  Seems to me that you're full of excuses.  If your blender is that useless, then why do you still even have it?

I don't see where I mentioned rice in any of my previous replies so your rant there is a bit unnecessary.  However, rice IS a healthy, whole grain.  I guarantee you that white rice is healthier than ramen.  Long-grain brown rice would be even healthier.  If you can't afford only brown rice, then you can cook half of each.  But again, I didn't mention rice at all so...

And again...I never said that your child couldn't or shouldn't have a birthday party or cake.  I only said that one COULD be made from scratch.  FYI:  I didn't have a CLUE what I was doing when I made my first cake.  The first one I iced consisted of a bad icing job with homemade powdered sugar icing done while the cake was still hot (it should have been cool...I didn't know that yet) and some of my child's toys as decoration.  The writing on the cake was atrocious.  My 3yr old still loved the cake.  Your 1 yr old wouldn't have had a CLUE what kind of cake he was getting.

I still (and will always) contend that a bowl of ramen is not a complete meal...because it's NOT.

Quoting jediGert:

1. my blender is a POS that couldn't chop an ice cube to save it's life.

2. my son is a year old and recieves food from WIC meaning he gets plenty of food and does not need to eat what we eat plus until a couple weeks ago, he was still BFing.

3. I don't HAVE a family of five, I have a family of 3 and only 2 are adults.  A bowl of ramen for lunch is plenty filling for one person so oohh.. lets see... 40 cents.

4. My point was my kid deserves to have a birthday just like every OTHER kid even though we were and still are pretty danged poor.  Congrats that you rock at cake baking, not everyone is Martha Stewart and can do that.  My frosting abilities are full of fail as well so it would not only be a bad tasting cake, it would be an ugly bad tasting cake.

My point is, the $15 it cost us to buy a cake that was edible and attractive to look at was not a waste of money.  It made my son very happy and he enjoyed it very very much.  In exchange, I chose to eat a handful of very cheap and though not especially nutritious meals, weren't actually any worse for me than your suggested bowl of rice. 

I think YOU fail to see the point of putting my son's smile ahead of the contents of my belly.  my health won't be forever ruined by a couple of bowls of ramen.  Now, if I ate it every day for months on end with nothing else, sure, that can ruin your health, but as a money saving technique once in a while so someone can have something special they won't get for a whole nother year, no, not so much.

I took food assistance because I was breast feeding and needed to eat nutritious foods so my son could grow up healthy.  Had i NOT done that he would have received himself, a diet devoid of nutrition as rice while cheap, is not nutritious in and of itself.  While I COULD have eaten beans and rice it would not have been GOOD for him like a diet of vegies and meat and whole grains were.

I don't know if you just aren't making the mental connections here on this one or you just genuinely think everyone is Martha Stewart and can grow their own grain to mill and make into flour for themselves with enough training.  Either way, your thought process on this strikes me as foolishly focused on a cake.  They aren't going to give you a different amount regardless of what you buy.  We made a lot of really really good decisions about what we bought so that we have a surplus of food right now to get us through the lean times so we already have put the money we recieved to excellent use actually.  having done that, we don't feel like we are bad people for giving our son a nice birthday of cake and ice cream.  Are we also not allowed to offer food to friends and family who drop by our house because that money was for OUR food and not them?  Who does that?  Oh sorry, no snacks for you, it's FA so we can't share, it's illegal.


Quoting moneysaver6:

You only need a blender to make homemade sorbet.  The only ingredients required are fruit or berries, ice, and honey or sugar (optional).

No, I have never bought ramen.  However, I have seen it.  It isn't 20¢ to feed a family of 5.  It's $1 to feed a family of 5.  And ramen isn't an "ENTIRE" meal.  It is a processed carbohydrate.  To be a complete meal, it would need a protein, veggies, &/or fruits.

I don't understand what you mean by sacrificing your own comfort for your child.  How is feeding your child simple-to-make, processed "food" sacrificing your own comfort?  It would take you more time but cost you less (or at least equal) to feed your child healthier.  Spending that time so that your child could eat healthier on a budget would be a sacrifice.

Quoting jediGert:

Well I don't have the equipment to make my own ice cream and I stink at baking cakes. I bet my kid would have just LOVED one of my tough overcooked cakes for his birthday.  YUM YUM!

As for healthy food being cheaper than ramen.... ever BOUGHT ramen?  It's 5 for a dollar.  that's 20 CENTS a meal.  I defy you to make ANY meal that is healthy that is under 20 cents for the ENTIRE meal.

Is it healthy? nope, but I'll sacrifice my own comfort for my kid actually.  Did we eat it every meal? no, but it's a passable lunch as long as you eat something more healthy for dinner.




Quoting moneysaver6:

I am the most frugal of frugal people...I don't consider living on ramen for weeks to be "frugal".  I consider that to be foolish.  It is cheaper to eat healthier.  There's no need for even the most frugal to live on ramen EVER...let alone for weeks on end.

When we were dirt poor, my children had birthday parties.  Those parties consisted of homemade food including a homemade cake and homemade sorbet.  It is possible to have a birthday party for a child while making healthy food choices even if one is poor.

Quoting jediGert:

 ...if someone is frugal enough and willing to live on ramen for weeks to compensate, hey, more power to them!

We used the last of our PA money to pay for my son's birthday food.  Was he supposed to not have a birthday just because we were poor?








Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 17, 2012 at 2:39 PM

Nope I am not going to get laughed at because it is not going to happen.  It just isn't.

I've done too much of what you are already whining about.   That is why I made sure it wasn't going to happen again.  Ever.

Quoting jediGert:

*pat pat pat*

That's all right, you go on believing that in your imaginary ivory tower where nothing bad happens to people.  At least I didn't have to eat crow when my life tanked.  I already got it that sometimes people fall on rough times through no fault of their own and had empathy for them.  You on the other hand are going to get laughed at by the very people you criticize.

I doubt very much YOU are going to feel like YOU should give up your car (I did) and buy cloths second hand (I did) and give up your social life except stuff you could do for free (as I did).  Nope, you will be one of those idiots in a fur coat resenting having to be there at all.

Wouldn't shock me if folks spit on you behind your back though.  You deserve it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Like I said, sob story.

Quoting jediGert:

And lots of them like me did and still had to take PA anyways.  Life isn't as black and white as people want it to be.  I NEVER thought in a million years that I would EVER have to humble myself and ask for food assistance but it was that or my family did not eat as we couldn't even cover the bills and it was hardly like we were living high on the hog as the hog was long gone.

It's really easy to feel good about yourself and better than other people because YOU survived without it BUT a lot of the people who take it did so because they were worse off than you in the first place.  Frankly, had my mom's house not been in probate for over a year, we wouldn't even have had a roof over our heads let alone food.  Sure, we could have sold everything and gotten a one room section 8 style apartment and to what end?  it's not like my husband was going to be underemployed forever, he worked his ass off to find a better job as quickly as he could.  The whole time he was looking I looked for jobs too actually, even though I was very pregnant when he lost his job. 

You ave to be really bad off to even QUALIFY for PA which is why I get very offended when people judge people on it.  That's another human being you are telling they aren't good enough to eat cookies with the rest of us.

I honestly hope you an all the people who judge the poor never have to be so yourselves... you will really really really hate being treated and talked to and talked about the way you have others... then again, perhaps that would just be karma.

Quoting Anonymous:

Sh

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