When I was married my husband used to yell at me and tell me I was not seeing or hearing what I was. Every year whole month of my birthday he would tell me enjoy this one its your last. You wont live to be 30...then you wont live to be 35...then you wont live to see the kids graduate. I left that sorry bastard 8 years ago and never looked back and burried all that stuff and been happy till this week. All I hear in my mind is him yelling those things at me. My birthday is in 2 weeks and Im afraid Im really going to die. I dont have any anxiety meds or a therapist to go to or a doctor. I want to go to sleep until august. I cant even pray I try but I cant.