Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

cover letter advic needed.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies

 so I have never had to write  cover letter before and I am applying for a cafeteria aide in my dd's school. this is my first attempt. how would you change, tweak this. any advice would be great thanks

July 10, 2012

 

Dear Mr. Sodrick:

 

I am interested in the Cafeteria Aide/lunch Aide advertised on the website . I am looking for a job that I can be home for my children after school and other school holidays.  My resume is enclosed for your review. Given my excellent capabilities I would appreciate your consideration for this job opening. My skills are an ideal match for this position

 

My qualifications are:

 

Excellent interpersonal and communication skills

Works well as a team and independently

Confident, patient and hard working employee with a healthy and active physique

 

 

Thank you for your consideration.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 11, 2012 at 8:25 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
luvmymonkeys27
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 8:42 AM

I think this might help you... I know that you're not applying for a computer position, but the article still pertains to cover letters. 

http://petdance.com/2010/04/dont_confuse_qualifications_with_skills_assumed_of/

Don’t confuse “qualifications” with “skills assumed of everyone”

  | 1 Comment

When employers are looking for candidates, the fact that you can tie your shoes and not pee in your pants are just assumed. You’d never see a job for a computer professional advertising:

  • Able to get to work on time
  • Knows to go to bathroom and not wet self
  • Can tell ass from hole in ground

So why do candidates put these sorts of filler bullets at the top of their resumes in sections called “Summary of Qualifications”?

  • Able to work well with others
  • Strong work ethic
  • Attention to detail
  • Quality-oriented
  • Dependable
  • Responsible
  • Results-oriented
  • Problem-solver
  • Interested in improving efficiency
  • Able to find innovative solutions
  • Proficient in Microsoft Office and the Internet

If you are a professional in the computer field, every one of those bullets is assumed . Those are the price of admission, not selling points. Putting such vague mundane “qualifications” as the first thing in your resume says to the reader “I am completely average.”

Instead, tell about what makes you awesome, not average. Instead, your summary of qualifications should have bullets more like these:

  • Eight years experience in web development, using Perl, Java and Ruby on both Windows and Linux environments.
  • Expert in SQL databases, especially data migration between MySQL, PostgreSQL and MS SQL Server.
  • Designer of seven different e-commerce websites both with HTML/CSS and Ajax.

Bullets like those give specifics. They apply specifically to you, not just anyone like “detail-oriented” does. They make the reader take notice and want to know more. The details grab the attention.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 11, 2012 at 8:46 AM

ty

ffpm10
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 8:47 AM
I would google cover letters and look at some samples.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 11, 2012 at 1:27 PM

i did that already , thanks

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 11, 2012 at 1:32 PM

Dear Mr. Sodrick:

I am interested in the Cafeteria Aide/lunch Aide advertised on the website . I am looking for a job that I can be home for my children after school and other school holidays. My resume is enclosed for your review. Given my excellent capabilities I would appreciate your consideration for this job opening. My skills are an ideal match for this position

My qualifications are:

Excellent interpersonal and communication skills

Works well as a team and independently

Confident, patient and hard working employee with a healthy and active physique

 

Change that to so or where. There is no need to list your qualifications on the cover letter. They should be on your resume.

rgba
by Ruby Member on Jul. 11, 2012 at 1:33 PM
I would say simply that you are interested in the job and meet all their qualifications. Then point out that you are familiar with--and supportive of--the school as you have a daughter that attends currently. Finally, point out your greatest strength for/desire for the position (e.g. love being around kids and have a great dynamic with them...)

Leave the sentence off about wanting to be home on weekends, etc.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
GagaNTattooS
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 1:34 PM
My cover letter is an attention grabber to me yours is good but it doesn't stand out from the 47 others sitting on the desk.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:54 PM

thanks guys.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 11, 2012 at 7:00 PM

 

Quoting rgba:

I would say simply that you are interested in the job and meet all their qualifications. Then point out that you are familiar with--and supportive of--the school as you have a daughter that attends currently. Finally, point out your greatest strength for/desire for the position (e.g. love being around kids and have a great dynamic with them...)

Leave the sentence off about wanting to be home on weekends, etc.


hows this?

Dear Mr. Sodrick:

 

I am interested in the Cafeteria Aide/lunch Aide advertised on the website       and I meet all of the qualifications. I am familiar and supportive of this school because I have children that attend this facility.  My desire for the postion is because of my love of being around children and I have a great dynamic with them.

 

 

 

Thank you for your consideration.

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)