Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Teen mom question

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

To the girls who had children at such a young age:

What are some things your parents could have done differently to help prevent it (if anything)?

My mom was too busy with her boyfriend and to keep her wild lifestyle she let me move in with DH when I was 16, got pregnant at 17 (go figure). She never offered me BC, but expected me to make the first move and ask her - when we didn't have a close enough relationship for me to do that.

I'm asking because I want to be prepared when my children reach that age, and do all I can do to be a good parent, even though I know it may happen anyway. The only corrections I know to make are the ones my mother failed on for me, so please share if there are any you feel moms may not know.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 11, 2012 at 12:34 PM
Replies (21-30):
MamaStone2
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 3:04 PM

 I got pregnant at 17. My parents put me on BC, and they were great parents. I chose to have sex and I missed my pill a few times and got pregnant. My parents had nothing to do with it.

KarriePlus1
by Karen on Jul. 11, 2012 at 3:04 PM
Quoting Anonymous:




Actually, I'm still pregnant with him/her. Give it 3-4 weeks, and yes. But that's not how I think of him/her at all.
Jessica_Esqueda
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 3:07 PM

Yes, I was prepared financially. Or, as prepared as most people are! I had been working 3 jobs since I was 15 and 16, and my husband had a steady job as well. 

Quoting lovinglife0682:

You were prepared financially as well? Most jobs 18 year olds have don't even provide health insurance.


Quoting Jessica_Esqueda:

Because I was married and ready to start a family. 

For the record, I have a degree. I am educated. I've had plenty of fun. I have given up nothing by having my kids, but I HAVE gained everything!  

Quoting Anonymous:

 It was planned? Why??? Not judging, but I honestly don't understand. By planning it so soon, you were choosing to give up so much of life that you'll never get to experience - college, being 21 and having fun, etc...


Quoting Jessica_Esqueda:


I was a "teen mom" at 18. It was planned, and I was married. 


 




Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jul. 11, 2012 at 3:08 PM
Wow.
You don't have to answer if your don't want to, but I'm honestly curious..
How do you handle that?


Quoting KarriePlus1:

Quoting Anonymous:






Actually, I'm still pregnant with him/her. Give it 3-4 weeks, and yes. But that's not how I think of him/her at all.

ShesALady
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 3:09 PM
Put more emphasis on STDs and they'll hopefully use a condom. Babies arent the worst thing that can happen from sex. Show them graphic pictures of herpes, chlamydia, talk about HIV and AIDS. I'm honestly more concerned with that than pregnancy. Even though I will have that discussion too. My girls are 5 & 7 and I had my oldest at 18. I'm pregnant with number three and saying I'm so sick all the time. I want to show them how hard pregnancy is. I talk to them about stuff like that even at this age. The earlier you put it in their head the better. And even still, things happen.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
.ZombieGirl.
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 3:10 PM

Nothing at all.

It was not my parents fault I got pregnant. They didn't force me to have unprotected sex.

zagomez
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 3:10 PM

 I would say, lack of communication, as far as sex talk. I could neverrrr had told my mom i was having sex! I would of rather died than tell her to get me on birth control. She is a great mom its just i could never talk about my intimate life, that's the one and only thing i would do different with my daughter.

LadyDarkNight
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 3:11 PM

 I can honestly say that there is nothing my mother or father could have done to keep me from being a young mother. I had my dd when I was 19 and I was married and living on my own. I was however having sex and very much so when I was 14+ and living at home. My parents were very taboo about sex though. It was disgusting and you didn't do it until you were married and drilled into our heads that you were a whore if you had sex before you were married. I think that was the worst part and I would never do that to my children. My dd is 11 and I want her to be able to talk to me about what she feels and wants and when she is ready to have sex I want her to be able to come to me and tell me that she is ready and we will go get her but on bc. Maybe that is silly of me but that is the way that I see it. I am very open and honest with my children. I just hope they always feel that way with me so that I never have to and they never have to face a teen pregnancy.

JNLmomme09
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 3:11 PM

I was 19 when my first was born  and honestly IMO I think that when you reach the age of understanding  how you can get pregnant....like maybe by the age of 16 then its not in your parents hands anymore.  

KarriePlus1
by Karen on Jul. 11, 2012 at 3:15 PM
Quoting Anonymous:




Like I said, I don't think of him/her like a "rape baby". This is my baby, not his. This child loves me, relies on me, and it's not his/her fault how he/she conceived. That's what I focus my thoughts on- my child. Not how it got to be mine.
Plus, I have a great brother and girlfriend. They help me out so much, reassuring me and getting me through every step.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN