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Ok so say you smoke/drank before getting married and your DH makes you be a SAHM does he buy them for you? If not did you quit?

Dh makes me be a SAHM and refuses to buy me cigs(now i smoke 5cigs a day so a pack lasts me 4 days) am i wrong for expecting him to?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 13, 2012 at 3:39 PM
Replies (31-40):
MIA0223
by Emerald Member on Jul. 13, 2012 at 3:55 PM
Nobody can make you be a sahm!
I didn't do any of that before or now. If I did we would work it in to our budget!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
oh_sparks
by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 3:55 PM

nailed it.

Quoting kkmack:

What you are wrong for is having to use the words "DH/husband" and "makes me" in the same sentence.

Good luck with that.


love,

ashley<3

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 13, 2012 at 3:56 PM
Get a job to pay my whole check to childcare? That seems a bit stupid


Quoting EAzizM:


Quoting Anonymous:

Sure he can. How can i pay for child care??





Quoting Elle.tea.22:

Your addiction, your responsibility. He pays for nessesary stuff not that sorta thing. And nobody can make you e a stay at home.


Get a job...He has to provide necessities for your family but NO, he does not have to support your vice.


BelindaDuvessa
by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 3:56 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm the working one, and yes, I buy them for my husband.  I don't smoke or drink, and he doesn't really drink but he does smoke.  If y'all have discussed you quitting, and you haven't agreed to it, then yes, I'd expect him to.  He knew about your smoking before you got married, he shouldn't really be surprised of you wanting to continue...that seemsa  bit dumb.

I had a male friend who tried to do the same thing to his wife....it really doesn't work.  He wanted her to quit, but she found cigarettes anyways and wittled him down until he gave in.  It's easier, imo, just to buy them than to have to fight over it.

Also, if he's being this controlling, maybe you should rethink the relationship.

chichiwvu
by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 3:56 PM
Just FYI My husband says that's ridiculous.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
2012ArmyMom
by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 3:57 PM

I don't think he should have to pay for them unless he wanted to.

EAzizM
by Erica on Jul. 13, 2012 at 3:58 PM

Oh, Don't worry. You will have enough to pay for your cigs too. Duh!

Quoting Anonymous:

Get a job to pay my whole check to childcare? That seems a bit stupid


Quoting EAzizM:


Quoting Anonymous:

Sure he can. How can i pay for child care??





Quoting Elle.tea.22:

Your addiction, your responsibility. He pays for nessesary stuff not that sorta thing. And nobody can make you e a stay at home.


Get a job...He has to provide necessities for your family but NO, he does not have to support your vice.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 13, 2012 at 3:58 PM

well then you have a serious imbalance in your marriage and if you want to be treated fair the you need to stand up for yourself and change what you don't like. if that means moving in with your parents and being a single mom, then that's what it means. don't let him control your life because you don't work.

Quoting Anonymous:

Nope i see no money EVER. Shit idk how much a paycheck is


Quoting Anonymous:

if he wants you to stop smoking for your health i see the logic in his actions, but if he isn't buying you them because you do not work then i think that is an ass hole move, especially since he "makes" you be  a SAHM.and because this was something you did before you were married so it is something he knew about before he married you.

does he give you any controll over money at all?




Kymbi
by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 3:58 PM

He MAKES you be a SAHM? I think that is a bigger concern than where or how you get your cigarettes.

But to answer the question..I am a SAHM and I was a smoker. I bought my cigarettes when I went out (staying at home doesn't mean never leaving the house) for groceries or I stopped and bought some when I was out taking the kids somewhere. Or occasionally I asked DH to stop and pick up a pack on his way home from work.

I don't understand the problem unless it is monetary. Do you mean to say that your husband gives you no access to money for cigarettes? If so,  again, I think getting your smokes might be the least of your worries.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 13, 2012 at 3:58 PM
We have been together 5yrs and he has NEVER bought me a pk of smokes. Even when i was working & he was home he would bitch at me for smoking to much


Quoting LucyMom08:

He buys mine...never even questions it, he'll call on his way home and ask me if I need a pack, or anything else on his way home...





I think I'd be more concerned with the fact that he is *making* you do things...

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