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I need to vent. I don't mind critsism or advice, just keep it clean. LONG

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I'm a young mom, 20 years old. I had my son six months ago and I very much enjoy my son. I am still with my baby's dad. We've been together for three years and known each other for 7 years.

Two years ago my boyfriends mom was killed on her motorcycle. So since then my boyfriend has been fighting for custody of his little brother who is now 11. They have different dads and his little brother's dad, who lives in South Korea, has never wanted anything to do with him.

My boyfriend and his little brother were raised very very differently. His little brother was given anything he asked for because by that time their mom did not have time to teach him that he can't have whatever he wants, when he wants it. SO his little brother doesn't know how to control his emotions. He flips out at EVERYTHING. Cleaning his room, he screams and cries about why we hate him so much and are so cruel to him. He constantly lies about everything, not just I'm a kid I'm gonna tell little white lies sometimes a bit more lies, but ALL THE TIME EVERYTHING. Then FLIPS when you catch him asking why you don't trust him, you hate him, blah blah blah.

His father was diagnosed as clinically insane years ago, but not too insane where he had to be in an institution obviously. But his little brother.. Always has this look in his eyes when he just stares and watches you.. And a lot of the time when he's sitting in the family room with us he sits there and just stares at Dakota, my son, with this really weird look.

He snaps so often and so severe.. That I'm worried he will one day snap on Dakota if we're not looking. 

I told my boyfriend today, if his little brother were to ever do anything to Dakota that would be the only time I would ever give him an ultimatum. His son and I or his little brother. He said, "Then I'd have to say see yah." to me.

Would I be wrong to give him an ultimatum if his little brother hurt my son?? I don't think I would be.. It's my son, who doesn't need to be hurt or deserve it, and a young man, who needs help but can't be around a little baby.

This is the only issue I have ever had with my boyfriend. I don't really understand why he would choose his little brother over his son and I, but at the same time I can. It would be a difficult  descion for him. But him and his little brother have other family too, like their uncle Sean. 

...I'm kind of upset that he would let his son leave living with him after his little brother hurt him.

This is all hypothetical and my worries, but my worries are very real because it's happened before with my boyfriend and I.

My posts are like a resturant, you're free to go somewhere else.

by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 11:28 PM
Replies (21-21):
by on Jul. 14, 2012 at 1:18 AM
Have you gotten any outside help for the little brother? He is grieving, and really needs therapy! Why don't you try asking him what he is thinking when he is looking at your son? Don't make it a big deal, just simply say "whatcha thinkin, kiddo?" Maybe try finding a support group for him with kids that have lost a parent?

I think the last thing that kid needs is to be taken away from you guys! And I can see both your's and DH's dilemma in this!
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