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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions
I dated a momma's boy in college. Even though I appreciated his sensitivity and his affectionate nature, his slavish devotion to his mother earned first my disgust and then my disrespect. I found myself constantly yelling in my head, "Be a man!"

Both of my DSs would have been momma's boys...if I had let them. I've shaken off my older boy (10). He's identifying with his father more. He still loves me, but doesn't have to be in my lap or holding my hand all the time. Now the little one (6)...

Not only is he super attached to me, he's such a scaredy-cat his father can't seem to get him interested in any "manly pursuits". Football? He's afraid he'll get hit...by other players or the ball. Wrestling? He'll get crushed. Mechanics? He'll get dirty (germaphobe).

I don't want to hurt his feelings but I need him to not be a momma's boy. What to do?
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by on Jul. 14, 2012 at 11:37 AM
Replies (11-19):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 14, 2012 at 1:30 PM
You disgust me! I mean, come on! You are worried about them being mamas boys do you push them away? That's so sad! I have 3 sons and my oldest son was VERY attached to me when he was younger and I let him grow out of it on his own! My youngest ds is 2 1/2 and is constantly up my ass he's so attached. All 3 of them adore their dad too though. I can't understand why a mother would push her child away to attempt to make him be a man! No wonder there's so many men that are such assholes and have no fucking clue how to love or treat a woman! Grow the fuck up!
PinkButterfly66
by Emerald Member on Jul. 14, 2012 at 1:32 PM

A boy becomes a momma's boy when momma does everything for him.  Encourage your husband to find an activity that he and your littlest one can enjoy.  It doesn't have to be sports, it could be camping, fishing, a new hobby like wood crafting, building kites, computer games, ANYTHING AT ALL that they BOTH enjoy.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 14, 2012 at 1:35 PM
Not all boys have to be super tough, just like not all girls wanna play with dolls. Every child is different and that's what makes them great. Diversity is amazing.
mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Jul. 14, 2012 at 1:39 PM
1 mom liked this

 I think its cute you are thinking so much of his future

1sweetmommma
by on Jul. 14, 2012 at 1:40 PM

How about martial arts?

Babujai
by Gold Member on Jul. 14, 2012 at 1:41 PM
Thanks. I don't want to push him away or hurt his feelings, I just want him to identify with his dad more. These are really helpful suggestions.

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

A boy becomes a momma's boy when momma does everything for him.  Encourage your husband to find an activity that he and your littlest one can enjoy.  It doesn't have to be sports, it could be camping, fishing, a new hobby like wood crafting, building kites, computer games, ANYTHING AT ALL that they BOTH enjoy.

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Babujai
by Gold Member on Jul. 14, 2012 at 1:47 PM
I don't push them away. That's kinda the point of my post. I don't want to push them away or hurt them. I want them to be loving, affectionate men that treat women well. I just also want them to be masculine men...not tough guys, not bullies...just men that will have the confidence in their own judgement and abilities that seems to be lacking in most momma's boys.

As a former psychology student I understand that there needs to be a dependence from mom before a young boy can truly mature into a man. At almost 7 years old I think DS should have started that separation already and it worries me that he hasn't.


Quoting Anonymous:

You disgust me! I mean, come on! You are worried about them being mamas boys do you push them away? That's so sad! I have 3 sons and my oldest son was VERY attached to me when he was younger and I let him grow out of it on his own! My youngest ds is 2 1/2 and is constantly up my ass he's so attached. All 3 of them adore their dad too though. I can't understand why a mother would push her child away to attempt to make him be a man! No wonder there's so many men that are such assholes and have no fucking clue how to love or treat a woman! Grow the fuck up!
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Babujai
by Gold Member on Jul. 14, 2012 at 1:48 PM
That's a great idea. Thanks!

Quoting 1sweetmommma:

How about martial arts?

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Capricorn0119
by on Jul. 14, 2012 at 4:04 PM
Maybe I read into wrong but to me it sounded like you weren't ok with his lack of interest in what you consider to be "manly pursuits" like rough sports and getting dirty with cars.
As for your question about it being a parents job to shape children into decent adults. I mostly agree. I'd probably phrase it differently. I think its a parents job to show their children how to be kind respectful people and at the same time protect their core being so they can become whoever they are. I don't know if I would use the word shape. I'd probably say guide.

Quoting Babujai:

Isn't it a parent's job to shape their children into decent adults? I'm not trying to change his personality, I just don't want to inadvertently be a factor in any relationship difficulty he may have in the future. Idk...maybe he'll get lucky and meet someone that doesn't mind his mommy preference.

Quoting Capricorn0119:

Why do anything? Let him be who he is.


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