I normally don't post things that are too personal for me but I really have a conundrum and I'm hopin' to find a different perspective.
Long story short, I never had a dad. Mom got preggo and basically she never saw him again as he had a life on the East and she had one on the West. Mom never got married again, no step dad. Just my mom, Nana and sometimes my half brother.
Fast forward 35 years and I finally find him by a fluke on fb. I got his number and he waited for me to call. I did after a week of WTF (I had planned on never findin' him and had just resigned myself to the fact I would never know or find him) and it was a nice talk, short but nice.
We've played phone tag a few times and talked once since the first time. It's been over a week now and I haven't hear from him. I left the last message.
He is plannin' a trip back here with his only daughter (she's younger then me) but I haven't heard from him in over a week.
Big Daddy keeps tellin' me to call him again but my stubborn side is comin' out and I feel that after all the years I searched and longed for my dad, I shouldn't be the only one makin' the effort. And it makes me feel that I don't want this crazy crap in my life and I did okay without a dad all these years. Maybe i just want to let it go. He has his life and I have mine.
I'm sure I left things out but feel free to ask questions. It is a strange and crazy experience and not one I think I care to have...