My step son has been arrested for the statutory rape of my daughter Added poll UPDATE/ UPDATE AGAIN ONE FINAL UPDATE on page 177

[Anonymous]

He is 18, almost 19 and she is 14. I came home yesterday after dropping my 10 year old at a friend's house and getting groceries. I was supposed to pick DD up from her friend's home after I got the groceries but there was a misunderstanding and her friend's parents brought daughter home instead. Since step son is still in high school, about to start senior year, he still visits every other weekend. Anyways, I get home and even though step son and my daughter are both home, no one is downstairs.

I went upstairs to ask them to help unload the groceries and they are in my daughter's bed going at it.  I started screaming, no, I did not handle it well but this is my 14 year old and my step son who has been my step son since he was 12,  I think I can be forgiven for loosing my cool. He starts yelling at me to shut up and I told him to get out of my house. He told me to fuck off and went to "his" room. I tried calling dh who was at work, he couldn't answer. I go tell my step son to get out, again, and he threw "his" (really my) lamp at me and told me he was going to kill me. I called the cops because he wouldn't leave and he was threatening me and already threw a lamp at me.

The cops get here and I explain everything, they arrested him for assault and for statutory rape. I really wasn't thinking about the fact that he would get arrested for statutory rape, I was in so much shock but I can't say that I don't think he deserves it.

My DH gets home and already knows about his son being arrested and he gets mad at me!!! He was about to bail him out of jail, I told him that if he did, don't come back home because I will divorce him. We keep our money separate so if he has the money, he can do it but he won't be coming back to my home. I told him he is going to have to make a choice, he can either help his son get an attorney and everything or he can be with me but I am not going to be him if he thinks it's ok or that his son deserves his help after doing this. Also, clearly, his son will never be allowed in our home around either of my girls since he has no problem having sex with children.

Now of course, my daughter is suffering the consequences too I know that she is not completely innocent. But since she is legally a child, her consequences will be much less severe. She is grounded for the rest of the summer, 8 weeks, no TV, computer or cell phone, and even after she is done being grounded, she won't be able to go anywhere without me until I can trust her. My DH thinks that is not enough since chances are, his son will do jail time. Well, my DD didn't break the law, his son did.

I know there will be some on here who think I am the worst step mom ever but if it was your daughter, can you really tell me you wouldn't do the same?

Many of you have expressed the opinion that DD's punishment wasn't harsh enough. Honestly I do agree but I thought I was giving her the most I could give her (not letting her do anything, taking away her computer, cell phone and tv) BUT then nsaneygolover (gotta give credit) suggested that I have her volunteer somewhere instead of letting her sit on her but. I think that is a GREAT idea so I have called a thrift store that supports an abused women's shelter and they said they can use her 3 days a week for 6 hours each day. Then she is going to my sister's house (with my sister there) 2 days a week all day to help her take care of her twin 18 month olds so that she can see what it's like taking care of a child. This is not to punish her for whatever happens to her step brother, that is his fault and he will get whatever punishment he gets. I don't think it was her job to think about the fact that he could get in legal trouble for that, that was on him and he clearly didn't.  But I am punishing her for having sex. While she isn't old enough to fully understand the situation, she is old enough to understand that she shouldn't be having sex. She is also going to the OBGYN. She says that she has never has sex with anyone else. I believe her. Honestly, I check her facebook, I know who she calls on the phone, I know her friend's parents so I believe there hasn't been anyone else. DD is also going to be in counseling 2 times a week to help her understand that while whatever punishment her step brother gets is not on her, she was wrong for having sex at her age.

Upon further reflection, I told DH I would be ok with him helping his son IF he can do so and still pay his share of the bills. However, his son will NEVER (or at least not until both of my girls are over 18) come to our home or be around our family again. We talked about everything and I told him that while I am ok with him helping his son, I will not apologize for calling the police

So DH just found out that since SS admitted to having sex with DD, there will be no trial (which I thought would be the case since we knew he had already signed a written confession). SS will have a sentencing for statutory rape though I did drop the assault charges. The attorney says that he will probably do some jail time. More then likely, he will only have to register as a sexual predator for 7 years. DH and I talked about everything, I asked him what he would have done if it was his 14 year old DD and he said that he would have killed the man. After that he realized that calling the police was a lot more level headed, especially after his son threatened me and assaulted me. He said he realizes that he is mad at what his son did and the situation it put our family in, not at me. We agreed that SS won't be allowed in our home UPDATE They DID offer SS a deal, which I didn't think they would since he has already signed a confession but what they offered was 9 months in prison (he would only serve 80% with good behavior) and then he will have to register as a sexual predator for 7 years. While in prison, he will have to do extensive therapy. His attorney advised him to take it because the judge could give him as much as 10 years in prison and a lifetime of registering as a sexual predator. The registry will say sex with a minor under 15, over 12. His attorney also told him that he should be glad that I dropped the assault charges because if he was also looking at assault charges, they wouldn't have made a deal with him and he would probably face the maximum sentence. Also for those saying that I shouldn't have called the police and it's my fault he is in trouble, even if I hadn't called the police, my ex said he would have gone to the police and told them about the statutory rape so SS still would be in the same trouble he is in now.

[Anonymous]

I just gotta wonder what some of these women would say if it was their little girl? It would be a whole different story then!

[dorkish_face]

I would done the same as you except my daughters punishment would have been way more longer and harsher than what it is. Taking away the tv, computer, and cellphone is one thing. but she'd be busting her ass around the house as my personal slave as well... She too disrespected you and the household.

[JLo1486]

Why does she get a lesser punishment while you have no problems with sending your stepson to jail?. You said it yourself, she is not innocent in this and yet you made sure he paid for it. He will pay for the rest of his life for what your daughter was willing to do. She gets grounded. Wow.

[Achromia]

I didnt say she was sheltered and uneducated. She knows what sex is but it doesnt mean she FULLY comprehends it and by the looks of it she isnt the only one who isnt fully comprehending!

Quoting Anonymous:

Why would you not educate your teenager? Why keep them sheltered?

Quoting Achromia:

She isnt slow. She is a typical innocent child who doesnt fully understand the consequences of sex. See, this is why they make these laws. Not every young teenager is experienced and many mature differently.

Quoting Anonymous:

Then she is either slow, immature, highly sheltered or just has you fooled. My 14 year old knows what sex is, the consequences of sex, how to obtain and use condoms or birth control. No she has not had sex and I hope she chooses to abstain but if she does not then she is well educated.

Quoting Achromia:

My dd is 13 and wouldnt fully comprehend.

Quoting Anonymous:

I would not have called the cops! At 14 my DD is old enough to know better.

[areles]

that was exactly my thought.

bet there's more to this story.

Quoting Anonymous:

He's 18, almost 19 and just starting his senior year?! Is there something wrong with him? I don't know how I would have reacted to that, it kind of sucks that he will be a sex offender now though for something that was consensual.

[NDADanceMom]

People are so stupid here.  I just cant even imagine how you even function in society.  

It isnt illegal for the girl to have sex with the adult.  It is only illegal for the adult to have sex with the child. The girl did no crime.  Idiots. 

Each person is responsible for making sure they are not being a criminal.  You are responsible for your own crimes.  Of course she is not responsible for the man going to jail.  wow.  you people are just... shockingly stupid. 

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Quoting Anonymous:

So hes gonna be labled a sex offender for the rest of his life, just bc your 14 yr old decided to open her legs to him. If I were your husband I would leave your ass.

So it's her fault that he had sex with her? Yes, they both consented but he also knew that if he got caught, he could go to jail, she wouldn't

[Anonymous]

Quoting Anonymous:

Are you not teaching your boys not to fuck little girls? They have a choice in this, dont touch little girls. Had the girl been the older one in this she too would have committed a crime.
This has NOTHING to do with the girl getting away with anything!
I am scared for the kids of parents raised not knowing or understanding this law. I am appalled that so many do not recognize the good in these laws, those that blame the child and the mother and those that think it's okay. I do realize that so many find it okay because they were "with" an adult when they were children and most went on to procreate and some married that adult but look around this site! How many Posts are made about cheating (of course with someone younger) , abuse, immature, irresponsible behavior and treatment, dishonesty, disrespect, baby mamas, dead beat dads, won't pay support, etc. etc. etc. that is the type of man that sleeps with and knocks up a child.

[Anonymous]

I really think the age of consent should be lowered to the age of 14. at 14 yrs old all girls know what they are doing and the consequences of their actions. its ridiculous how many guys get charged with rape and are labeled sex offenders for the rest of their lives for having consentual sex with a teen girl who def knows what she is doing. they both knew exactly what they were doing. either they both get in trouble legally or neither of them do.

[beerabitch69]

I have to agree too.

Quoting areles:

me too. his first call should be to a defense attorney, his second to a divorce attorney. what a fucking disaster.

Quoting Master_Debater:

You are ruining that boy's life over something HIM and YOUR daughter did. And then to be such a bitch as to tell your husband he can't help his own son?? I hope he chooses his son over you.