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Having "The Talk" with Your Kids, at Every Age: What's the Best Way?

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"Mommy, where do babies come from?"

All kids ask the question eventually, it's our job as parents to help our children understand their bodies and how "the birds and the bees" work.

But what do kids need to know, and what's the best way to explain everything? In this episode, you'll get expert advice on what to say and when to say it (even if they're teenagers who don't want to hear it from you!).


Have you had "the talk" with your kids yet? How did  it go?

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by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 11:26 AM
Replies (41-50):
Russa
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 12:58 PM

Now that I think about it.. It does make more sense to wait until they ask about something particular.. None of mine have asked, or are just to shy to..

epoh
by The Enzyme Helicase on Jul. 20, 2012 at 1:34 PM
Funny, because my 4.5 yo DD just asked me this question today. She asked how babies got in their mommy's tummy. I answered honestly in a way she'd understand.
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Abby7Noah2
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 4:03 PM
Hello Mrs.Miller,

When I was pregnant with my son Noah who is now 2, my daughter Julie asked asked my "mom how is my baby brother coming out of you belly?" I was stuck for a minute and just told her well Noah is coming out of mommys belly button.. At the time Julie was 4. Julie came home from school and out of no where she tells me mom now I know that Noah came out of your vagina. I was lost for words.
tina08mommy
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2012 at 5:19 PM
I would have the talk with at the right age and talk to them about that it do they can understand. Not to much details.
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momblessedw2
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 5:59 PM

I just recently had the talk with my almost 12 year old dd. Me and her both were the only ones in the house,and i thought it would be the perfect time. I was nervous and embarrased,and she was to. But  it seemed to go good, she did have some question's, which i answerd honestly lol. And i did tell her if she had anymore questions she could ask me anythime.

mom2the.rescue
by Platinum Member on Jul. 20, 2012 at 8:20 PM

I answer their questions.  So there's never really been a big 'talk'.  My mom used to run & hide if I asked a question, so I learned to not ask.  I was having sex before I learned what most of the sexual terms meant.  While they may be shy about it & blush alittle, they still ask me.  Because they know I'll be honest.  I try to be age appropriate, but some of their questions aren't age appropriate, and I'd rather me tell them than some kid who knows less than them. 

My then 9 & 7 yr old boys ran to me and asked me what does 'suck a dick' meant.  I asked them where they heard that.  They told me it was spraypainted on the playground & dad told them to ask me.  I told them.  At the dinner table, the 9 yr old laughed at dh and said, 'That's so funny you didn't know what that meant dad!'  lol I hope I never forget that!

 

mom2the.rescue
by Platinum Member on Jul. 20, 2012 at 8:23 PM

I agree to wait for them to come to you...but if they start getting older & you're thinking they must have questions...then I think you should ask them if they do have any.  They might be too shy to bring it up to you...even though they probably talk to their best friends about everything.

Quoting Russa:

Now that I think about it.. It does make more sense to wait until they ask about something particular.. None of mine have asked, or are just to shy to..


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 21, 2012 at 12:27 AM

My kids know certain details of it. My ds is 10 and my dd is 9. I never lied about a stork, but I did give them age appropriate knowledge. Before it was you was in my belly. Then it was I pushed you out, now both my children know where they came out, I had them naturally. I guess it's just a gradual issue I mean to sit down and talk about sex, that seems awkward. I guess it's sort of on a need to know basis.

DarlaHood
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 3:22 AM

This...  I completely agree, and I love the fact that you said "We" to imply that you did not do it all.  I did my sr. thesis research on parental communication and teen sexual behavior.  The most significant finding that I had was how important and effective it is for fathers to be involved and talking to their kids about sex.  When Dads talk to their daughters about men, and about relationships and how men and boys think about sex and girls, that is incredibly powerful.  When Dad's talk to boys about how to treat girls and how they think about sex and relationships, that is also incredibly powerful.  Unfortunately, most often fathers do not participate and leave it to mom.

Quoting spicy_n_sweet:

We never had a "talk" with our son.  We openly discussed the human body, sex, sexuality from the time he was old enough to talk and start asking questions. Age apropriate of course, but never the attitude of  "that needs to be discussed when he gets older".  Our attitude about it was more along the line of this: sex, sexuality, knowing and understanding your body are daily parts of life so it should be approached that way. Not some taboo, only when we feel you're old enough to hear subjects.  Watching my son grow up (he's 19 now), it's definitely proved true for him that the better informed, better educated, more understanding,  better and wiser choices are made.  


studentteach
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 10:31 AM

 I firmly believe in making good use of "teachable moments". It is a great way to start a conversation about "sex" without seeming like a lecture.

The earlier you start the less awkward it will be later on.

My 13 year old has been advised that boys love their penis's and will do and say anything to get her to touch it. Expecially now that they are in Middle School.

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