Having "The Talk" with Your Kids, at Every Age: What's the Best Way?
"Mommy, where do babies come from?"
All kids ask the question eventually, it's our job as parents to help our children understand their bodies and how "the birds and the bees" work.
But what do kids need to know, and what's the best way to explain everything? In this episode, you'll get expert advice on what to say and when to say it (even if they're teenagers who don't want to hear it from you!).
Have you had "the talk" with your kids yet? How did it go?
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If she wants more info that you give, she will ask her friends. And if she senses that you don't approve, she won't tell you about it. She may get correct or incorrect info from her friends. It is best to ask her if she has any questions and answer the specific questions she wants answered. My six year old is very intelligent. She wasn't satisfied with the standard, babies come from Mommy's tummy talk. I tried to simplify it and left it at that. The next day, she came home and wanted to know if it were true that babies come out of the mom's vagina and if babies get put there by God or if the Daddy puts his penis in the Mommy's vagina to put the sperm into the mom's "baby holder" lol. She got lots of info, some correct, some very incorrect. One kid told her that Daddy's have to hurt the Mommy to " make" her have a baby. From what I gathered, she sat around with half of her class discussing it. I told her that I was sorry for not answering her questions as completely as I could have. I explained everything and told her which things that her friends told her were true and which were false. I told her that I didn't think she was old enough to understand all the details. She was a little sad because she took my lack of info as a lie. I promised that I had not intended it that way and that I would always answer all of her questions from now on. Also, she knows now that she can always ask follow questions. Since then, she hasn't had any more questions, but I can tell that she feels closer to me now. When she here's someone talking about babies, she always looks at me a smiles. Don't underestimate your kids. Also, kids will talk, especially the extremely curious ones like mine. It would be impossible for me to make her not talk to any of the kids that sat around having that discussion that day. I just thought another point a view might be helpful to you. If she is asking you and you don't give her an age or appropriate answer, she will ask someone else. In my case I made the mistake or assuming that a 6 year old would be satisfied with the simplest answer.
Quoting Night_Roane:To these moms who say that they've had "the talk" with their 5 and 6 yr old, but it was "age appropriate" - I'm wondering what that means to you. My DD will be 4 on Friday, and all she knows (because I don't see any reason to tell her about the reproductive system right now unless she asks) is that she grew in my tummy. Tummy/ uterous is all the same at that age. It didn't confuse me and I never felt lied to that my mom called it that until I was older. After all, it looks like your tummy is getting bigger. I don't have any other kids, so she's never asked about pregnancy and I don't think she even knows what a penis is. If she comes home one day and says she saw a boy go potty and he had a tail or something, then I'll explain that yes, boys have winkies (I won't call it a penis just like I don't call her rear a "butt" - it's her bum. It just sounds nicer to me. If she asks what a penis is I'll tell her it's a winky, or I'll save it for the later sex talk) and they go pee-pee out of it. If I ever do get pregnant and she asks where the baby comes from, I'd tell her that it started as a little egg the size of a grain of rice and grew inside of mommy until it was ready to come out. If she asks where it's going to come out of, I'll probably change the topic. She'll put two and two together by the time she's 7 or 8. There's no reason to have her thinking about her vagina that way right now.
I feel that you can be HONEST and not absurdly informative. It's like those days when you asked your grandfather where the forks are, and he went on about "back in his day..." about the process of mining silver and the origin of the word "silverware", etc.
I plan on going into detail when my DD is 8 or 9. Probably 9, when she'll be in 4th grade. And I certainly wouldn't appriciate one of her 5 or 6yr old classmates who HAD been given "the talk" very early told her about it. In fact, that would probably be the end of their friendship. I don't want to sexualize her or expose her to the very wide world of sex until she is ready and about to enter puberty herself. There's no reason to end her innocence prematurly.
what is there to hide & shelter kids from when it comes to reproduction? the more they know at an early age the more they can protect themselves from others bad intentions, and when they are older they can make educated & informed decisions about themselves... if you dont want them having sex as kids tell them you dont want them to and why you dont want them doing it... if you raise them right you wont have to worry
Yes, it went good. I have 4 children, 3 daughters are married, 1 16 year old son at home. I was way more keyed up about sex when my girls were young. I got this book from a friend which had a Christian bent and more than one translation on each page depending on the age of the child. I DID NOT use that book with my son. It was much better when I just talked about it as though it is good and special and not some thing to be feared. I have a completely different perspective on sex now, although I still believe in honesty and morality. I can easily talk to my son about sex now. I am blessed to have wonderful children.
Just have the freak'n talk.
Being a SAHM for the past 5 yrs has made me
- Cafe Amanda
on Jul. 19, 2012 at 11:26 AM