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help!! men advice please***update***

Posted by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 10:51 PM
  • 20 Replies
I'm starting to fall for this great guy. I have been seeing him guy now for about 6 weeks or so. He asked me on saturday the 14th to be his girlfriend. Yesterday he asked me to go along with him to a family members wedding. That being said, I get this from him today after telling him I wish we would have met sooner. Read it and tell me what you think. Thanks. "I hope u can accept who I am. It seems you have no issues showing how u feel or ur emotions. I am not that way and have a hard time showing how I feel emotions etc. Having been screwed over i have changed...not by choice but that is how i am now. Maybe it will change being with u. Be patient. Just dont question me because it will annoy me....lol. I am dating u for a reason and that is because i like u. I am not emotional or have an easy time expressing feelings."

*****would you go to the family wedding?????I'm thinking, see how it goes but pass on the wedding thing. ******
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by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 10:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
FL2AK
by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 10:54 PM
2 moms liked this
He is already putting a guard up and telling you to not expect him to be emotionally attached because of what other women have done to him.

That would be a red flag for me.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 19, 2012 at 10:56 PM
I would have an issue with him saying this. I think it would make me think twice about being in a relationship with someone that can't express or communicate well. Communication is very important.
Ris_n_Es_momma
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2012 at 10:57 PM
Everything has been great so far. And yes red flag is exactly how I feel. :(

Quoting FL2AK:

He is already putting a guard up and telling you to not expect him to be emotionally attached because of what other women have done to him.



That would be a red flag for me.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 19, 2012 at 11:00 PM

Sounds a lot like me, I have Asperger's maybe he does too.

FL2AK
by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 11:02 PM
I would be worried about you having to suffer because other women treated him like crap. I also think men who say stuff like that never admit their faults.


Quoting Ris_n_Es_momma:

Everything has been great so far. And yes red flag is exactly how I feel. :(



Quoting FL2AK:

He is already putting a guard up and telling you to not expect him to be emotionally attached because of what other women have done to him.





That would be a red flag for me.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 19, 2012 at 11:06 PM
1 mom liked this

To me that is screaming you need to chill out on the emotions, feelings, commitment etc. He is basically saying he likes you, but he doesn't want a serious relationship. It's a little manipulative. Hes saying he isnt emotional attached, but acting like its up to you to accept it AND giving false hope that you will change him. Red flag. I wouldn't break up, but I aslo wouldn't be so quick to be his girlfriend. As of now, he is not boyfriend material. Don't start off the relationship being manipulated/settling, because when something happens he will say, "I told you I was this way".....

Ris_n_Es_momma
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2012 at 11:07 PM
Thanks so much, I didn't really even think of that.

Quoting FL2AK:

I would be worried about you having to suffer because other women treated him like crap. I also think men who say stuff like that never admit their faults.




Quoting Ris_n_Es_momma:

Everything has been great so far. And yes red flag is exactly how I feel. :(





Quoting FL2AK:

He is already putting a guard up and telling you to not expect him to be emotionally attached because of what other women have done to him.







That would be a red flag for me.

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Ris_n_Es_momma
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2012 at 11:10 PM
Thank you

Quoting Anonymous:

To me that is screaming you need to chill out on the emotions, feelings, commitment etc. He is basically saying he likes you, but he doesn't want a serious relationship. It's a little manipulative. Hes saying he isnt emotional attached, but acting like its up to you to accept it AND giving false hope that you will change him. Red flag. I wouldn't break up, but I aslo wouldn't be so quick to be his girlfriend. As of now, he is not boyfriend material. Don't start off the relationship being manipulated/settling, because when something happens he will say, "I told you I was this way".....

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cLanief
by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 11:11 PM
it means you need to slow down on the whole "wish we met sooner" You scared him. ...... He's been fucked over and wants to go slow and hell hold back a bit till hes completely sure it's not going to end like past relationships. That is all.
He's like a beaten dog... it'll take time for him to be comfortable and not shy away
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Dextons_Mommy
by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 11:11 PM

If you like the guy, give him a chance, but proceed with caution. My hubby was hurt by previous girl friends, and therefore, did not trust me. It took him a very long time to really open his heart to me (I know that sounds cheesy, but that's the best way I can phrase it lol). Anyway, when we first started dating, he would tell me stuff like "don't fall in love with me, because I'm not going to love you." We hadn't been dating that long, and I really didn't care, I wasn't looking for a serious relationship/marriage at the time. I also knew what his previous girlfriend had done to him and the heartbreak it put him through, so I didn't press the issue. Long story short, we broke up, but 6 months later, he said he realized what he lost when he broke up with me and asked me to give him another chance, which I did. This time, he really let his guard down, and a few months later, told me he loved me. We've been together for 10 years and married for 8. You should not be punished for what other girls have done to him, but I do understand where he's coming from. He's protecting himself. It sucks, but it doesn't mean he's not a great guy. Had I not given my hubby a chance, I would have lost out. Give yourself a time limit, and if he cannot or will not let his guard down by then, you will know it's time to move on. good luck :)

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