So I was seeing a really nice guy for a few weeks. Dinners out, flowers, gifts, he seemed really perfect. We had great discussions, laughed, totally enjoyed ourselves. One night things got a little heated and we ended up having sex. In the heat of the moment, I made a comment about how I "loved fucking him." We had sex about four times that night/early morning. Made plans to be in touch again soon. I had him over for dinner on Sunday. We had a good time, enjoyed ourselves, he stayed the night. More great sex; he told me it was the most intimate sex he ever had. I sent him a text at lunch time because he said he would be on conference calls all day...he sent a sweet one back.
Got home and there were flowers waiting for me. I sent him a text to say thank you and tell him how much I loved the flowers. He called me back and told me he was pissed and didn't want to see me anymore because (1) he was making love to me and not "fucking" me; I made something very personal--impersonal; (2) I was inconsiderate and rude because I texted him instead of calling to say thank you. We talked it out. I texted him because he told me he would be on conference calls all day at work.
Next night we have a great phone conversation to firm up plans for Wednesday night. We laugh, make plans together, set the time for our next date. I tell him I am going to a friend's house for a party; it's girl's night and we get together once or twice a month. We end the call about 5:30 p.m. Wednesday morning...I get a text that he has to cancel. I figure it's something work related so I just say okay and that I'll talk to him later.
Wednesday evening he unleashes his fury: the "sex" versus "fucking" thing again--he was screaming that I emasculated him and made him lose his erection. I am inconsiderate when he doesn't have a lot of time to have a relationship (I also work and get busy). I am always drunk (no idea where that came from). He insinuated that "girl's night" was about getting wasted and picking up guys--when most of the girls are actually married. I don't open up to him enough and seem guarded when we talk. Basically he said I was a materialistic drunken whore with absolutely no morals. He claimed that the first night we had sex he never intended to because it went against his principles--yet he had condoms with him that night. I ruined the most intimate sex he had ever had in his life because he was making love with me and I called it fucking. It went on for a while; I shouldn't have listened, but I figured I would let him get it out. I asked him if he could ever get past this or forgive me (after I had apologized profusely) and he told me I should have KNOWN that I offended him and so the apology was too little too late. Oh...and he kept score on compliments and said that I didn't compliment him on anything (his eyes, his shirt) the first night we went out and, in fact, I didn't compliment him enough overall. Also, at some point I told him he was a really nice, really good guy and he told me that was the kiss of death for a man.
Obviously we are not seeing each other again. But I'm wondering....which one of us was overreacting?
I'm sorry that this is so long. I actually liked this guy a lot...but he seemed to go off the deep end.