I'll be homeschooling this year, so this will no longer apply, but I still think it's wrong...
I remember my daughter's Kindergarten year. We bought all brand supplies because, well, we can afford them and they are better quality and last longer so that's what I wanted her to have.
Then I saw what she was actually using and it's not what I purchased!
Second grade, everyone was supposed to bring their school supplies to orientation. We brought ours and were faced with buckets for each type of supply where everything gets dumped in together and is redistributed. Seriously? I opened up DD's crayon box and were Crayola crayons and markers in there? No. Roseart and some non-brand markers.
This irritated the shit out of me because I paid extra for those and she wasn't even the one using them!
I saw that another mom had labeled all her child's supplies at home with permanent marker. Wish I would've thought about that. But it doesn't really do any good because my daughter's 3-prong folder had some other kid's name written on the inside.
When I did my student teaching in a high school classroom, I had a new student come in who had been out of school due to cancer treatments. This one kid tried to bully him, and I nipped that in the bud - I tried talking to the kid, giving him detention and all that didn't work. What I ended up doing was to put the kid in the corner in the front of the classroom, and told the kid he bullied to tell me if he moved before I told him to sit down. It only took one nose-in-the-corner treatment. It stopped ALL the bullying the kid did - not just with that kid, and it empowered the kid he bullied. Both ot them still got the lesson I was teaching, but the cooperating teacher said I shouldn't do that. I don't know if the bully stopped all of his bullying for good, but I hoped he learned a lesson.
I'm now on a University level, and we had one student who got mad because he failed a class he needed for graduation - he didn't show up to class, and therefore missed information he needed for the exams which he failed. He cut all 4 of the professor's tires, but he was caught. When he went before the judiciary hearing his defense was that his teacher failed him out of spite and needed to be taught a lesson. The teacher ulled out his attendance book and showed that the guy was in class approximately 20% of the semester, and then his grade book showing the exam scores. The kid was not only found guilty, but he was expelled and if he got his degree, he went elsewhere - this was on top of the criminal charge - which he was found guilty. His major? Criminal Justice. Guess who isn't working in their field.
When I worked at an alternative school for middle school kids, I had a lot of students tell me they couldn't do something because they had ADHD. I got tired of it, and one kid too many pulled it on me. I put both hand on his desk, leaned in and said... "I have two degrees, and I have ADHD. Do you have any other excuses?" He looked at me and asked if I really had ADHD, and I told him yes. I told him if he REALLY wants to do something, like pay a video game, he can sit there for hours, right? He says yes. I said so what if you really wanted to finish school, do you think you could sit there and do your work, even if it was something you didn't like? He wasn't sure but he thought he could try. This same kid bet with me. He thought he was this bad basketball player, so we bet - if I won, he'd do his work without complaint for a week, and if he won, he could have a free day to whatever as long as he didn't disrupt the classroom. I beat him - badly. He came back in the the room and announced - "Don't ever bet on basketball with her." He honored his bet, and behaved while he did his work. He ended up going back to his home school within the year. I normally didn't let the kds contact me after they left, but this one, I asked him to call when he started to get overwhelmed. He only called me once, and that was to thank me for getting him on the right road. Evidently, he had been coddled because of his ADHD and other problems. Part of what I taught them in that school were coping skills - how to get around ADHD behavior. How to get and stay organized, how to find interesting things in uninteresting lessons.
Quoting Cheryl_M:I know! It's as if they want us to raise a bunch of whiny, unable-to-fight-their-way-out-of-a-wet-paper-bag losers!
I understand there are kids who need help adjusting to school when they are young (such as my son - I think he's overwhelmed by the noise levels and so many kids in one room), but it's beyond ridiculous that kids aren't made to deal with the consequences of their actions. They won't even give my son a time-out in the corner for not behaving. He has a sticker chart with 5 spaces on it, if he does a task he's supposed to do, he gets a sticker, if he fills the chart, he's allowed to pick a coloring page of his choice. He misbehaves all day, then gets a prize anyway because someone stood over him and nagged him into doing his work - WTH is up with that?
Quoting I_told_you_so:Not to mention that we EARNED our grades - they were GIVEN to us by teachers. I had one kid who got a 36 in one marking period. He didn't do a lick of work - not classwork, not homework. Nothing. When I went to turn in grades, they told me nothing under 60 because the kid wouldn't be able to get out of the failing grade. I ended up having to give him a 60 but I asked to talk to him after school one day and I showed him his actual grade and asked him what his mother would say to his grade, and he said "She'd beat my behind." I said.. "Now, don't you think you should do your work?" he said he'd TRY. I told him that wasn't good enough and that I'd sent his name to his coach and he was off the football team. That was the only thing that got his attention.
Quoting Cheryl_M:OMG. I'm seriously thinking the schooling of the 70s and 80s was WAY better than what goes on now!
We didn't get a prize for participating; we were taught not to be sore winners or sore losers; it didn't matter if your parents couldn't afford the brand name school supplies, you used what they bought; kids were taught to do what they were told, and if they didn't, they got punished; kids weren't rewarded for bad behavior (my son acts out in kindergarten, and they REFUSE to use discipline - they give him stickers for doing what he's supposed to do anyway); parents didn't go to teachers/bosses to demand better grades or a raise/promotion; the list goes on, and on, and on...
When did this start? I never dealt with that. I wonder if that's how it will be for my kids too...
Since you're a teacher, any suggestions as to what I should do?
They obviously aren't listening to me about my son. We're getting the process going of having him seen by a behavioral specialist, but in the interim, I can't let his already bad school habits continue, and apparently if I'm not with him all day, they will.
He's on an IEP, but I haven't signed it yet because what they have been doing isn't working. He made excellent progress in preschool (the teacher agreed that consequences are what he needs), but actually went a little backwards in kindergarten. I even went so far as to tell him that if they what they did made him cry, it was okay.
Quoting I_told_you_so:When I did my student teaching in a high school classroom, I had a new student come in who had been out of school due to cancer treatments. This one kid tried to bully him, and I nipped that in the bud - I tried talking to the kid, giving him detention and all that didn't work. What I ended up doing was to put the kid in the corner in the front of the classroom, and told the kid he bullied to tell me if he moved before I told him to sit down. It only took one nose-in-the-corner treatment. It stopped ALL the bullying the kid did - not just with that kid, and it empowered the kid he bullied. Both ot them still got the lesson I was teaching, but the cooperating teacher said I shouldn't do that. I don't know if the bully stopped all of his bullying for good, but I hoped he learned a lesson.
I'm now on a University level, and we had one student who got mad because he failed a class he needed for graduation - he didn't show up to class, and therefore missed information he needed for the exams which he failed. He cut all 4 of the professor's tires, but he was caught. When he went before the judiciary hearing his defense was that his teacher failed him out of spite and needed to be taught a lesson. The teacher ulled out his attendance book and showed that the guy was in class approximately 20% of the semester, and then his grade book showing the exam scores. The kid was not only found guilty, but he was expelled and if he got his degree, he went elsewhere - this was on top of the criminal charge - which he was found guilty. His major? Criminal Justice. Guess who isn't working in their field.
When I worked at an alternative school for middle school kids, I had a lot of students tell me they couldn't do something because they had ADHD. I got tired of it, and one kid too many pulled it on me. I put both hand on his desk, leaned in and said... "I have two degrees, and I have ADHD. Do you have any other excuses?" He looked at me and asked if I really had ADHD, and I told him yes. I told him if he REALLY wants to do something, like pay a video game, he can sit there for hours, right? He says yes. I said so what if you really wanted to finish school, do you think you could sit there and do your work, even if it was something you didn't like? He wasn't sure but he thought he could try. This same kid bet with me. He thought he was this bad basketball player, so we bet - if I won, he'd do his work without complaint for a week, and if he won, he could have a free day to whatever as long as he didn't disrupt the classroom. I beat him - badly. He came back in the the room and announced - "Don't ever bet on basketball with her." He honored his bet, and behaved while he did his work. He ended up going back to his home school within the year. I normally didn't let the kds contact me after they left, but this one, I asked him to call when he started to get overwhelmed. He only called me once, and that was to thank me for getting him on the right road. Evidently, he had been coddled because of his ADHD and other problems. Part of what I taught them in that school were coping skills - how to get around ADHD behavior. How to get and stay organized, how to find interesting things in uninteresting lessons.
Quoting Cheryl_M:I know! It's as if they want us to raise a bunch of whiny, unable-to-fight-their-way-out-of-a-wet-paper-bag losers!
I understand there are kids who need help adjusting to school when they are young (such as my son - I think he's overwhelmed by the noise levels and so many kids in one room), but it's beyond ridiculous that kids aren't made to deal with the consequences of their actions. They won't even give my son a time-out in the corner for not behaving. He has a sticker chart with 5 spaces on it, if he does a task he's supposed to do, he gets a sticker, if he fills the chart, he's allowed to pick a coloring page of his choice. He misbehaves all day, then gets a prize anyway because someone stood over him and nagged him into doing his work - WTH is up with that?
Quoting I_told_you_so:Not to mention that we EARNED our grades - they were GIVEN to us by teachers. I had one kid who got a 36 in one marking period. He didn't do a lick of work - not classwork, not homework. Nothing. When I went to turn in grades, they told me nothing under 60 because the kid wouldn't be able to get out of the failing grade. I ended up having to give him a 60 but I asked to talk to him after school one day and I showed him his actual grade and asked him what his mother would say to his grade, and he said "She'd beat my behind." I said.. "Now, don't you think you should do your work?" he said he'd TRY. I told him that wasn't good enough and that I'd sent his name to his coach and he was off the football team. That was the only thing that got his attention.
Quoting Cheryl_M:OMG. I'm seriously thinking the schooling of the 70s and 80s was WAY better than what goes on now!
We didn't get a prize for participating; we were taught not to be sore winners or sore losers; it didn't matter if your parents couldn't afford the brand name school supplies, you used what they bought; kids were taught to do what they were told, and if they didn't, they got punished; kids weren't rewarded for bad behavior (my son acts out in kindergarten, and they REFUSE to use discipline - they give him stickers for doing what he's supposed to do anyway); parents didn't go to teachers/bosses to demand better grades or a raise/promotion; the list goes on, and on, and on...
Quoting Anonymous:Quoting BrighteyedAsh:
Someone needs to go back to history class. My people were here long before your people were. Your people stole my religion, culture, and land. Our children were removed from their homes and put into Christian schools where they were not allowed to speak their language or celebrate their religion for fear of being beat. And you think you have a right to complain? Because I really don't think you have a right to say anything at all. As for the school supplies, just buy the cheap ones. Or you could always call the teacher to find out if they are going to be "public" property.
Add to that the fact that it wasn't until AFTER 1954 that Native Americans were able to have appropriate education (with Brown vs the Board of Education) and they weren't able to vote until 1948 in most states. Here in Delaware, Native Americans were grouped with blacks - and in census you have white, negro, and mulatto. Indians could marry other Idians or negroes but not white. Most people who have Native American blood don't even know it because in some cases, especially in the east, rather than being sent off, if they could pass as white or negro, they stayed and hid their identities. After the end of the Civil War, Sherman turned west and uttered his infamous "The only good Indian is a dead Indian." That's the way it went.
The best thing is getting him identified. Make sure the behavoral specialist is in the IEP meeting, and make sure the teachers READ the IEP.
I didn't get to see ANY of my students' IEPs when I taught in a public high school - even after I specifically asked to read them. I did discuss one student with his resource teacher - mine was the only class he was main streamed into, and I knew his problems were mechanical - he didn't have a good background in math. I often used different ways to assessing his experience in the classroom - such as having him explain how to calculate a mortgage to another student. He could explain it, but not do it. I discovered he was trying to be more social, so I put him and another student - a girl with similar math skills together - and had them work as a team. He ended up taking charge of the "group" which boosted his self esteem, and helped both of them. They both ended up with A's in the class, and the resource teacher said that both were going to be put in a couple mainstream clasrooms the next year, and hoped they had teachers that worked out of the box like I did.
It will help him to have successes because his self esteem is probably low when it comes to education. If they won't follow the IEP, then YOU have to force them to do it. He needs structure, and they need to give it to them. If this teacher won't do it, find out who is the strictest teacher in that grade and ask that he be put in the class. You don't want easy. You have to find things about his subjects that are interesting to him. If he likes fish, use fish to do math, english, etc. Show him how everything fits together - laguage, math, science. Get him books with photos of whatever he likes best - have him practice lettering with whatever he likes. Use his interests to fuel his desire to learn.
Think outside the box. Recall Malcolm X's saying, and use it yourself "By any means necessary." (A teacher friend of mine had a poster that said "When Malcolm X said 'By any means necessary', he did not exclude hard work.")
Quoting Cheryl_M:Since you're a teacher, any suggestions as to what I should do?
They obviously aren't listening to me about my son. We're getting the process going of having him seen by a behavioral specialist, but in the interim, I can't let his already bad school habits continue, and apparently if I'm not with him all day, they will.
He's on an IEP, but I haven't signed it yet because what they have been doing isn't working. He made excellent progress in preschool (the teacher agreed that consequences are what he needs), but actually went a little backwards in kindergarten. I even went so far as to tell him that if they what they did made him cry, it was okay.
Quoting I_told_you_so:When I did my student teaching in a high school classroom, I had a new student come in who had been out of school due to cancer treatments. This one kid tried to bully him, and I nipped that in the bud - I tried talking to the kid, giving him detention and all that didn't work. What I ended up doing was to put the kid in the corner in the front of the classroom, and told the kid he bullied to tell me if he moved before I told him to sit down. It only took one nose-in-the-corner treatment. It stopped ALL the bullying the kid did - not just with that kid, and it empowered the kid he bullied. Both ot them still got the lesson I was teaching, but the cooperating teacher said I shouldn't do that. I don't know if the bully stopped all of his bullying for good, but I hoped he learned a lesson.
I'm now on a University level, and we had one student who got mad because he failed a class he needed for graduation - he didn't show up to class, and therefore missed information he needed for the exams which he failed. He cut all 4 of the professor's tires, but he was caught. When he went before the judiciary hearing his defense was that his teacher failed him out of spite and needed to be taught a lesson. The teacher ulled out his attendance book and showed that the guy was in class approximately 20% of the semester, and then his grade book showing the exam scores. The kid was not only found guilty, but he was expelled and if he got his degree, he went elsewhere - this was on top of the criminal charge - which he was found guilty. His major? Criminal Justice. Guess who isn't working in their field.
When I worked at an alternative school for middle school kids, I had a lot of students tell me they couldn't do something because they had ADHD. I got tired of it, and one kid too many pulled it on me. I put both hand on his desk, leaned in and said... "I have two degrees, and I have ADHD. Do you have any other excuses?" He looked at me and asked if I really had ADHD, and I told him yes. I told him if he REALLY wants to do something, like pay a video game, he can sit there for hours, right? He says yes. I said so what if you really wanted to finish school, do you think you could sit there and do your work, even if it was something you didn't like? He wasn't sure but he thought he could try. This same kid bet with me. He thought he was this bad basketball player, so we bet - if I won, he'd do his work without complaint for a week, and if he won, he could have a free day to whatever as long as he didn't disrupt the classroom. I beat him - badly. He came back in the the room and announced - "Don't ever bet on basketball with her." He honored his bet, and behaved while he did his work. He ended up going back to his home school within the year. I normally didn't let the kds contact me after they left, but this one, I asked him to call when he started to get overwhelmed. He only called me once, and that was to thank me for getting him on the right road. Evidently, he had been coddled because of his ADHD and other problems. Part of what I taught them in that school were coping skills - how to get around ADHD behavior. How to get and stay organized, how to find interesting things in uninteresting lessons.
Quoting Cheryl_M:I know! It's as if they want us to raise a bunch of whiny, unable-to-fight-their-way-out-of-a-wet-paper-bag losers!
I understand there are kids who need help adjusting to school when they are young (such as my son - I think he's overwhelmed by the noise levels and so many kids in one room), but it's beyond ridiculous that kids aren't made to deal with the consequences of their actions. They won't even give my son a time-out in the corner for not behaving. He has a sticker chart with 5 spaces on it, if he does a task he's supposed to do, he gets a sticker, if he fills the chart, he's allowed to pick a coloring page of his choice. He misbehaves all day, then gets a prize anyway because someone stood over him and nagged him into doing his work - WTH is up with that?
Quoting I_told_you_so:Not to mention that we EARNED our grades - they were GIVEN to us by teachers. I had one kid who got a 36 in one marking period. He didn't do a lick of work - not classwork, not homework. Nothing. When I went to turn in grades, they told me nothing under 60 because the kid wouldn't be able to get out of the failing grade. I ended up having to give him a 60 but I asked to talk to him after school one day and I showed him his actual grade and asked him what his mother would say to his grade, and he said "She'd beat my behind." I said.. "Now, don't you think you should do your work?" he said he'd TRY. I told him that wasn't good enough and that I'd sent his name to his coach and he was off the football team. That was the only thing that got his attention.
Quoting Cheryl_M:OMG. I'm seriously thinking the schooling of the 70s and 80s was WAY better than what goes on now!
We didn't get a prize for participating; we were taught not to be sore winners or sore losers; it didn't matter if your parents couldn't afford the brand name school supplies, you used what they bought; kids were taught to do what they were told, and if they didn't, they got punished; kids weren't rewarded for bad behavior (my son acts out in kindergarten, and they REFUSE to use discipline - they give him stickers for doing what he's supposed to do anyway); parents didn't go to teachers/bosses to demand better grades or a raise/promotion; the list goes on, and on, and on...
Thanks very much!
He can do the work, and is actually ahead in math, letters and reading. (He was speech delayed and hence has some developmental delays as well.) He just doesn't want to do the work and does everything in his power to avoid it. He wants to be able to do what he wants. I've just recently ordered some home-school materials recommended by a friend of mine who home-schools all 5 of her kids (3 of whom are grown ups now) so I can make sure he doesn't fall behind in his learning while we try to get everything else sorted out.
They had the principal, the para-professional who is in his class in the meeting, along with the school's psychologist and behavioral specialist, his teacher, and the other special needs teachers in the meeting. Part of what scares me is that they are all pretty young, and seem very against using any kind of discipline, which as I said, is all that works with him. They've tightened up a little since I let them know I wouldn't be upset if he cried, but not much. He can be a handful, and he's starting 1st grade this fall. I'm scared to death that they will allow him to single himself out again and that they'll want to pull him out of the mainstream classes.
Quoting I_told_you_so:The best thing is getting him identified. Make sure the behavoral specialist is in the IEP meeting, and make sure the teachers READ the IEP.
I didn't get to see ANY of my students' IEPs when I taught in a public high school - even after I specifically asked to read them. I did discuss one student with his resource teacher - mine was the only class he was main streamed into, and I knew his problems were mechanical - he didn't have a good background in math. I often used different ways to assessing his experience in the classroom - such as having him explain how to calculate a mortgage to another student. He could explain it, but not do it. I discovered he was trying to be more social, so I put him and another student - a girl with similar math skills together - and had them work as a team. He ended up taking charge of the "group" which boosted his self esteem, and helped both of them. They both ended up with A's in the class, and the resource teacher said that both were going to be put in a couple mainstream clasrooms the next year, and hoped they had teachers that worked out of the box like I did.
It will help him to have successes because his self esteem is probably low when it comes to education. If they won't follow the IEP, then YOU have to force them to do it. He needs structure, and they need to give it to them. If this teacher won't do it, find out who is the strictest teacher in that grade and ask that he be put in the class. You don't want easy. You have to find things about his subjects that are interesting to him. If he likes fish, use fish to do math, english, etc. Show him how everything fits together - laguage, math, science. Get him books with photos of whatever he likes best - have him practice lettering with whatever he likes. Use his interests to fuel his desire to learn.
Think outside the box. Recall Malcolm X's saying, and use it yourself "By any means necessary." (A teacher friend of mine had a poster that said "When Malcolm X said 'By any means necessary', he did not exclude hard work.")
Quoting Cheryl_M:Since you're a teacher, any suggestions as to what I should do?
They obviously aren't listening to me about my son. We're getting the process going of having him seen by a behavioral specialist, but in the interim, I can't let his already bad school habits continue, and apparently if I'm not with him all day, they will.
He's on an IEP, but I haven't signed it yet because what they have been doing isn't working. He made excellent progress in preschool (the teacher agreed that consequences are what he needs), but actually went a little backwards in kindergarten. I even went so far as to tell him that if they what they did made him cry, it was okay.
Quoting I_told_you_so:When I did my student teaching in a high school classroom, I had a new student come in who had been out of school due to cancer treatments. This one kid tried to bully him, and I nipped that in the bud - I tried talking to the kid, giving him detention and all that didn't work. What I ended up doing was to put the kid in the corner in the front of the classroom, and told the kid he bullied to tell me if he moved before I told him to sit down. It only took one nose-in-the-corner treatment. It stopped ALL the bullying the kid did - not just with that kid, and it empowered the kid he bullied. Both ot them still got the lesson I was teaching, but the cooperating teacher said I shouldn't do that. I don't know if the bully stopped all of his bullying for good, but I hoped he learned a lesson.
I'm now on a University level, and we had one student who got mad because he failed a class he needed for graduation - he didn't show up to class, and therefore missed information he needed for the exams which he failed. He cut all 4 of the professor's tires, but he was caught. When he went before the judiciary hearing his defense was that his teacher failed him out of spite and needed to be taught a lesson. The teacher ulled out his attendance book and showed that the guy was in class approximately 20% of the semester, and then his grade book showing the exam scores. The kid was not only found guilty, but he was expelled and if he got his degree, he went elsewhere - this was on top of the criminal charge - which he was found guilty. His major? Criminal Justice. Guess who isn't working in their field.
When I worked at an alternative school for middle school kids, I had a lot of students tell me they couldn't do something because they had ADHD. I got tired of it, and one kid too many pulled it on me. I put both hand on his desk, leaned in and said... "I have two degrees, and I have ADHD. Do you have any other excuses?" He looked at me and asked if I really had ADHD, and I told him yes. I told him if he REALLY wants to do something, like pay a video game, he can sit there for hours, right? He says yes. I said so what if you really wanted to finish school, do you think you could sit there and do your work, even if it was something you didn't like? He wasn't sure but he thought he could try. This same kid bet with me. He thought he was this bad basketball player, so we bet - if I won, he'd do his work without complaint for a week, and if he won, he could have a free day to whatever as long as he didn't disrupt the classroom. I beat him - badly. He came back in the the room and announced - "Don't ever bet on basketball with her." He honored his bet, and behaved while he did his work. He ended up going back to his home school within the year. I normally didn't let the kds contact me after they left, but this one, I asked him to call when he started to get overwhelmed. He only called me once, and that was to thank me for getting him on the right road. Evidently, he had been coddled because of his ADHD and other problems. Part of what I taught them in that school were coping skills - how to get around ADHD behavior. How to get and stay organized, how to find interesting things in uninteresting lessons.
Quoting Cheryl_M:I know! It's as if they want us to raise a bunch of whiny, unable-to-fight-their-way-out-of-a-wet-paper-bag losers!
I understand there are kids who need help adjusting to school when they are young (such as my son - I think he's overwhelmed by the noise levels and so many kids in one room), but it's beyond ridiculous that kids aren't made to deal with the consequences of their actions. They won't even give my son a time-out in the corner for not behaving. He has a sticker chart with 5 spaces on it, if he does a task he's supposed to do, he gets a sticker, if he fills the chart, he's allowed to pick a coloring page of his choice. He misbehaves all day, then gets a prize anyway because someone stood over him and nagged him into doing his work - WTH is up with that?
Quoting I_told_you_so:Not to mention that we EARNED our grades - they were GIVEN to us by teachers. I had one kid who got a 36 in one marking period. He didn't do a lick of work - not classwork, not homework. Nothing. When I went to turn in grades, they told me nothing under 60 because the kid wouldn't be able to get out of the failing grade. I ended up having to give him a 60 but I asked to talk to him after school one day and I showed him his actual grade and asked him what his mother would say to his grade, and he said "She'd beat my behind." I said.. "Now, don't you think you should do your work?" he said he'd TRY. I told him that wasn't good enough and that I'd sent his name to his coach and he was off the football team. That was the only thing that got his attention.
Quoting Cheryl_M:OMG. I'm seriously thinking the schooling of the 70s and 80s was WAY better than what goes on now!
We didn't get a prize for participating; we were taught not to be sore winners or sore losers; it didn't matter if your parents couldn't afford the brand name school supplies, you used what they bought; kids were taught to do what they were told, and if they didn't, they got punished; kids weren't rewarded for bad behavior (my son acts out in kindergarten, and they REFUSE to use discipline - they give him stickers for doing what he's supposed to do anyway); parents didn't go to teachers/bosses to demand better grades or a raise/promotion; the list goes on, and on, and on...
You can work with him on his behavior too. Reward cooperative behavior, and ignore the behavior you don't want. Or, if you prefer, try something like money - give him poker chips or monopoly money for doing right, and fine him for not doing right. He may also do better in a Montessori environment, if you have the money to pay for tuition and there's a school nearby.
Quoting Cheryl_M:Thanks very much!
He can do the work, and is actually ahead in math, letters and reading. (He was speech delayed and hence has some developmental delays as well.) He just doesn't want to do the work and does everything in his power to avoid it. He wants to be able to do what he wants. I've just recently ordered some home-school materials recommended by a friend of mine who home-schools all 5 of her kids (3 of whom are grown ups now) so I can make sure he doesn't fall behind in his learning while we try to get everything else sorted out.
They had the principal, the para-professional who is in his class in the meeting, along with the school's psychologist and behavioral specialist, his teacher, and the other special needs teachers in the meeting. Part of what scares me is that they are all pretty young, and seem very against using any kind of discipline, which as I said, is all that works with him. They've tightened up a little since I let them know I wouldn't be upset if he cried, but not much. He can be a handful, and he's starting 1st grade this fall. I'm scared to death that they will allow him to single himself out again and that they'll want to pull him out of the mainstream classes.
Quoting I_told_you_so:The best thing is getting him identified. Make sure the behavoral specialist is in the IEP meeting, and make sure the teachers READ the IEP.
I didn't get to see ANY of my students' IEPs when I taught in a public high school - even after I specifically asked to read them. I did discuss one student with his resource teacher - mine was the only class he was main streamed into, and I knew his problems were mechanical - he didn't have a good background in math. I often used different ways to assessing his experience in the classroom - such as having him explain how to calculate a mortgage to another student. He could explain it, but not do it. I discovered he was trying to be more social, so I put him and another student - a girl with similar math skills together - and had them work as a team. He ended up taking charge of the "group" which boosted his self esteem, and helped both of them. They both ended up with A's in the class, and the resource teacher said that both were going to be put in a couple mainstream clasrooms the next year, and hoped they had teachers that worked out of the box like I did.
It will help him to have successes because his self esteem is probably low when it comes to education. If they won't follow the IEP, then YOU have to force them to do it. He needs structure, and they need to give it to them. If this teacher won't do it, find out who is the strictest teacher in that grade and ask that he be put in the class. You don't want easy. You have to find things about his subjects that are interesting to him. If he likes fish, use fish to do math, english, etc. Show him how everything fits together - laguage, math, science. Get him books with photos of whatever he likes best - have him practice lettering with whatever he likes. Use his interests to fuel his desire to learn.
Think outside the box. Recall Malcolm X's saying, and use it yourself "By any means necessary." (A teacher friend of mine had a poster that said "When Malcolm X said 'By any means necessary', he did not exclude hard work.")
Quoting Cheryl_M:Since you're a teacher, any suggestions as to what I should do?
They obviously aren't listening to me about my son. We're getting the process going of having him seen by a behavioral specialist, but in the interim, I can't let his already bad school habits continue, and apparently if I'm not with him all day, they will.
He's on an IEP, but I haven't signed it yet because what they have been doing isn't working. He made excellent progress in preschool (the teacher agreed that consequences are what he needs), but actually went a little backwards in kindergarten. I even went so far as to tell him that if they what they did made him cry, it was okay.
Quoting I_told_you_so:When I did my student teaching in a high school classroom, I had a new student come in who had been out of school due to cancer treatments. This one kid tried to bully him, and I nipped that in the bud - I tried talking to the kid, giving him detention and all that didn't work. What I ended up doing was to put the kid in the corner in the front of the classroom, and told the kid he bullied to tell me if he moved before I told him to sit down. It only took one nose-in-the-corner treatment. It stopped ALL the bullying the kid did - not just with that kid, and it empowered the kid he bullied. Both ot them still got the lesson I was teaching, but the cooperating teacher said I shouldn't do that. I don't know if the bully stopped all of his bullying for good, but I hoped he learned a lesson.
I'm now on a University level, and we had one student who got mad because he failed a class he needed for graduation - he didn't show up to class, and therefore missed information he needed for the exams which he failed. He cut all 4 of the professor's tires, but he was caught. When he went before the judiciary hearing his defense was that his teacher failed him out of spite and needed to be taught a lesson. The teacher ulled out his attendance book and showed that the guy was in class approximately 20% of the semester, and then his grade book showing the exam scores. The kid was not only found guilty, but he was expelled and if he got his degree, he went elsewhere - this was on top of the criminal charge - which he was found guilty. His major? Criminal Justice. Guess who isn't working in their field.
When I worked at an alternative school for middle school kids, I had a lot of students tell me they couldn't do something because they had ADHD. I got tired of it, and one kid too many pulled it on me. I put both hand on his desk, leaned in and said... "I have two degrees, and I have ADHD. Do you have any other excuses?" He looked at me and asked if I really had ADHD, and I told him yes. I told him if he REALLY wants to do something, like pay a video game, he can sit there for hours, right? He says yes. I said so what if you really wanted to finish school, do you think you could sit there and do your work, even if it was something you didn't like? He wasn't sure but he thought he could try. This same kid bet with me. He thought he was this bad basketball player, so we bet - if I won, he'd do his work without complaint for a week, and if he won, he could have a free day to whatever as long as he didn't disrupt the classroom. I beat him - badly. He came back in the the room and announced - "Don't ever bet on basketball with her." He honored his bet, and behaved while he did his work. He ended up going back to his home school within the year. I normally didn't let the kds contact me after they left, but this one, I asked him to call when he started to get overwhelmed. He only called me once, and that was to thank me for getting him on the right road. Evidently, he had been coddled because of his ADHD and other problems. Part of what I taught them in that school were coping skills - how to get around ADHD behavior. How to get and stay organized, how to find interesting things in uninteresting lessons.
Quoting Cheryl_M:I know! It's as if they want us to raise a bunch of whiny, unable-to-fight-their-way-out-of-a-wet-paper-bag losers!
I understand there are kids who need help adjusting to school when they are young (such as my son - I think he's overwhelmed by the noise levels and so many kids in one room), but it's beyond ridiculous that kids aren't made to deal with the consequences of their actions. They won't even give my son a time-out in the corner for not behaving. He has a sticker chart with 5 spaces on it, if he does a task he's supposed to do, he gets a sticker, if he fills the chart, he's allowed to pick a coloring page of his choice. He misbehaves all day, then gets a prize anyway because someone stood over him and nagged him into doing his work - WTH is up with that?
Quoting I_told_you_so:Not to mention that we EARNED our grades - they were GIVEN to us by teachers. I had one kid who got a 36 in one marking period. He didn't do a lick of work - not classwork, not homework. Nothing. When I went to turn in grades, they told me nothing under 60 because the kid wouldn't be able to get out of the failing grade. I ended up having to give him a 60 but I asked to talk to him after school one day and I showed him his actual grade and asked him what his mother would say to his grade, and he said "She'd beat my behind." I said.. "Now, don't you think you should do your work?" he said he'd TRY. I told him that wasn't good enough and that I'd sent his name to his coach and he was off the football team. That was the only thing that got his attention.
Quoting Cheryl_M:OMG. I'm seriously thinking the schooling of the 70s and 80s was WAY better than what goes on now!
We didn't get a prize for participating; we were taught not to be sore winners or sore losers; it didn't matter if your parents couldn't afford the brand name school supplies, you used what they bought; kids were taught to do what they were told, and if they didn't, they got punished; kids weren't rewarded for bad behavior (my son acts out in kindergarten, and they REFUSE to use discipline - they give him stickers for doing what he's supposed to do anyway); parents didn't go to teachers/bosses to demand better grades or a raise/promotion; the list goes on, and on, and on...
Quoting Anonymous:If all you parents screaming over crayons helped out in school or worked with the teacher to curb the behavior of your precious spoiled brat as quickly as you jump on each other, maybe kids could get a decent education.
Name calling..... Really?
Being a SAHM for the past 5 yrs has made me
- amandae21
on Jul. 21, 2012 at 8:44 AM