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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

i resent my SO

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies
I think that is really the peoblem it's that and the lack of comunication...but I've always known about the comunication. We have been together over 6 years and I love him. He was in college when I got pregnant. I was 19 when I had our first. he stayed in school and I moved in with his mother. he was over an hour away and only came once a week to every other week. I stayed with his mom for 3 months until my sister and I got a house together. our daughter was about 3 months old and we had just broken up. we stayed broken up until she was around 1. and that time I was a single mom he never took her out of the house he would just come over and hang out. He always give me money during this time But he could have been around a lot more. we got back together and he was better he is always given me money and continue to even though we were still together. since my daughter was 4 months old I had 2 jobs. he had 1 job and was still in college full time. but on the weekends when he could of been down he would choose to do other things like go longboarding. we had been doing well for 6 months so I chose to move closer to him but we still did not live together. he slept over my house 2 to 3 a week but was there almost everyday. I had gotten pregnant right before I moved. our daughter was 23 month old when our son was born. he went on a long boarding trip the weekend my son was born. I stay living close to him for a year But the area was very bad. I moved back an hour away from him. he was around more than the first time 1 or 2 days during the week and on weekends. the job that I have from home was under the table so when my boss didn't need me anymore I had to get on food stamps. that lead to almost all forms of public assistance. I took a class in computers to try to further my education to get a better job but I couldn't find 1 so I took a job cleaning rooms in a hotel. I still get help with my rent and 140 dollars in food stamps. now he is done with school and wants to move in he does not have a good job yet and barely makes 150 a week after child support. I don't think I can get over the fact that he wasn't there when our kids were infants. I resent him for not being there for us not being a family and living together. Idk how to get past this...

Anyone have any ideas?

He has always been a good dad (not the best when dd was little but GREAT now). When he comes down he does the dishes and garbage and helps with everything. Helps buy things for my house he doesn't have the money for (like toilet paper and paper towels). He spends all day Tuesday with the kids and all day Sunday almost every day he has off he is here (sometimes he stays up there to pack or he has a half day and doesn't have the gas money) so some times he gets more then just 2 days a week here.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ShesALady
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:14 AM
It's not about how much he makes it's about how you feel. He can be a wonderful dad, but if he's hurt you enough that you don't feel that way about him then don't put yourself through more pain by starting a relationship with him again. It's all in how you feel and resenting him for the past is not a good way to start fresh. Either let that go and move forward with him or move on.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:15 AM
He should have been there, helping you from the beginning. Being a parent isn't a part-time job. I'd resent him too.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:19 AM
I want to let go sooo bad...I just relised I still held things against him I'm always trying to "fix" our relationship but recently he made me understand that I am the only one that thinks it needs to be fixed...he is happy and I relised why....I resent that he never lived with us that he still doesn't but I'm scared to let him move in....we have been together for 2 1/2 years (we broke up and got back together when dd was 1)


Quoting ShesALady:

It's not about how much he makes it's about how you feel. He can be a wonderful dad, but if he's hurt you enough that you don't feel that way about him then don't put yourself through more pain by starting a relationship with him again. It's all in how you feel and resenting him for the past is not a good way to start fresh. Either let that go and move forward with him or move on.

jcm28
by Gold Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:20 AM
Why does he have to pay cs?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:22 AM
That is what I say to him and I hate that I call him a part time dad :(...I do think it's true but he had to live there for his job/school. We couldn't have done it without his job....he could have gotten on PA with me but they would have made us live up there and it is a really bad place he didn't want to do it and when they said we'd have to live up there I agreed


Quoting Anonymous:

He should have been there, helping you from the beginning. Being a parent isn't a part-time job. I'd resent him too.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:22 AM

im sorry..that would be tough to get over...only you can decide if you can forgive and forget and continue to build a life with him..with a new start...gl

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:23 AM
I'm on PA so they make him they know he and I are together but not living together


Quoting jcm28:

Why does he have to pay cs?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Thank you...I know I want to be with him but idk how to get over this sun-Friday my day is leave at 830 walk 40 min with 3 1/2 year old and 1 1/2 year old to daycare/preschool then 1 hour bus ride clean rooms then one hour bus ride 40 min walk home get home at 630...and I resent him for that too...but that isn't even his fault....well Sunday and Tuesday night he drives me


Quoting Anonymous:

im sorry..that would be tough to get over...only you can decide if you can forgive and forget and continue to build a life with him..with a new start...gl


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:40 AM
Anyone deal with this and get past it?
notjstasocermom
by Emerald Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:43 AM

honestly it sounds like you two aren't meant to be together.

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