Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

since you gals are so brutally honest

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies
I am asking yall for advice.
My df and I got engaged in November 2011. We have no real wedding date set, but discussing June 2013. My dilemma is, I recently came across a beautiful 6 bedroom, 3.5 bath house with garage and an in ground pool. It's in a beautiful neighborhood and only a 10 minute drive to my ds prechool verses the 20 minute drive I have now. The asking prices is really good considering the house and area. Can you tell Im in love with this house? Well I am really considering making an offer on the house on Monday. I told my df this and he asked why would I buy a house now and have to move out in 2 years. I told him there was more than enough room for him, his daughters, my ds and I. He responded with his dd don't want to move to that area. I don't know what to do. My ds goes to a really good preschool and would still be attending in 2013, my df currently lives 30 minutes from the preschool. Also my df lives in a 3 bedroom 1 bath. Both of his dd are adults, one works pt, the other goes to school ft. I was not actively looking for houses, I happened to drive pass it and saw the open house sign and immediately fel in love with it. How can I make df realize he is being unreasonable?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 21, 2012 at 10:48 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
alwayskk
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 10:50 AM

Six bedrooms? Do you really need six bedrooms? I'm asking because I just moved into a three bedroom house and my electric bill was $400. For less than 2K square feet. You only mentioned one DS and two grown kids, that is why I'm asking.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2012 at 10:54 AM
Well I thought if df moved in with me, his dd could have the third floor which has its own private bathroom and their own rooms. The second floor would be for ds, df and I. I would turn the spare bedroom on the second floor into a closet for me. I am also strongly considering foster kids


Quoting alwayskk:

Six bedrooms? Do you really need six bedrooms? I'm asking because I just moved into a three bedroom house and my electric bill was $400. For less than 2K square feet. You only mentioned one DS and two grown kids, that is why I'm asking.


alwayskk
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 10:56 AM

Would you really want a grown child living in your house, though? Think about that. Are they going to live there for free? Are they responsible? Do they clean up after themselves? Are they respectful?

Fostering is a great reason to buy a bigger house but you should be sure you want to do that before you make a committment like that.

Just be careful, the bigger the house, the more expensive ALL of your bills are!

Quoting Anonymous:

Well I thought if df moved in with me, his dd could have the third floor which has its own private bathroom and their own rooms. The second floor would be for ds, df and I. I would turn the spare bedroom on the second floor into a closet for me. I am also strongly considering foster kids


Quoting alwayskk:

Six bedrooms? Do you really need six bedrooms? I'm asking because I just moved into a three bedroom house and my electric bill was $400. For less than 2K square feet. You only mentioned one DS and two grown kids, that is why I'm asking.



cherrywaves21
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 10:57 AM
2 moms liked this
I'm sorry but if his grown children don't want to move then they can stay and get their own place.

He is putting his ADULT children before you already. I honestly wouldn't put up with it. They can easily stay behind. The kids aren't four or five. They shouldn't be a factor in it all.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LynBoz
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 11:01 AM
If his kids are grown than why do they need to live with y'all? Not being rude, just asking.
It sounds like he is only thinking of himself and his GROWN kids. Ridiculous. If ts something you want to better you and your sons life than go for it!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2012 at 11:01 AM
They've lived with him most of our relationship. I don't "want" them living with us. But the reality is, I don't see them moving out.
I definitely want to foster. Just not sure when. Im thinking of waiting til ds is older maybe 5-6.


Quoting alwayskk:

Would you really want a grown child living in your house, though? Think about that. Are they going to live there for free? Are they responsible? Do they clean up after themselves? Are they respectful?

Fostering is a great reason to buy a bigger house but you should be sure you want to do that before you make a committment like that.

Just be careful, the bigger the house, the more expensive ALL of your bills are!

Quoting Anonymous:

Well I thought if df moved in with me, his dd could have the third floor which has its own private bathroom and their own rooms. The second floor would be for ds, df and I. I would turn the spare bedroom on the second floor into a closet for me. I am also strongly considering foster kids





Quoting alwayskk:

Six bedrooms? Do you really need six bedrooms? I'm asking because I just moved into a three bedroom house and my electric bill was $400. For less than 2K square feet. You only mentioned one DS and two grown kids, that is why I'm asking.





alwayskk
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this

I think you guys need to talk about this more before you make that offer. It doesn't sound like he wants to move in with you guys right now. It also sounds like his kids could be an issue so I would think longer about how that is going to work itself out. Also, does he agree to fostering?

The_Doodle
by Platinum Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 11:10 AM

If you're planning on marrying him, then you should take his feelings about buying a house into consideration. Whatever his reasons are, if you buy the house he doesn't want anyways, it could cause him to be resentful or even not move in with you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2012 at 11:11 AM
He's not as excited about fostering as I am. But he's on board for it.


Quoting alwayskk:

I think you guys need to talk about this more before you make that offer. It doesn't sound like he wants to move in with you guys right now. It also sounds like his kids could be an issue so I would think longer about how that is going to work itself out. Also, does he agree to fostering?


landova
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 11:14 AM
I am not buying a bigger house for grown children... that's just more reason for them to live off of you and mooch... idgaf if a grown kid doesn't "want" to move... I know she ain't paying bills so her opinion in the matter doesn't mean much. If you don't want to move...move out.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN