I hate him.

[Anonymous]

I left, had an apartment all set up, had my new life as a single mom planned out.
And he made all kinds of promises, made some changes so I came back.
Now it's back to the same shit.
Went out after work and didn't call to let me know so I stay up until 12:30 worrying about him since he didn't answer his work or cell (his cell does get shitty reception everywhere though)
He finally comes home, I ask where he was, he tells me the town name but not why he went.
Then sits beside me on the bed just messing with his phone.
The disrespect is on going. Anything I talk about he makes a face at and ignores me like I am so stupid.
He forgets I left him once and can easily do it again.
I don't need him or this life. I don't need to live a life where I feel unwanted and even hated sometimes.
I don't know why he worked so hard to win me and my trust back only to go back to disrespecting me in a different way than before just a few weeks later?

[Two_Hearts]

I JUST went through that. 

My relationship of 8 yrs ended in November (his decision)...he spent MONTHS trying to win me back , trying to ' change' ..made a wack of promises...so in april i thought that maybe i was being too harsh...and decided to give it another try.

however , i told him that i would work on communication issues ...i would spend time with him, but i was not going to get back into a committed relationship with him...i wanted to be single for at least a year before i decided to completely go back 100%. (we have been separated for 8 months)

I am so glad that i did not go back complelty...because like your other half..my ex did the same thing ...went back to disrespecting me after 4 weeks. 

Always said something about finding a sitter and going out , but would never pick a date.

And when i ask why he mentions it , but wont pick a date..i got nothing but a bunch of excuses ..putting the blame on me.

About a month ago i finally told him i had enough , and one of us had to be realistic and it was obviously going to have to be me. I told him that he did not seem in love with me like he kept saying he was , and that it was more that i was familiar and that i was the only thing he knew for 8 yrs.

there was much more issues going on than the date issue..but this post would be too long if i mentioned all of them.

Things are still a bit rocky , because now ....he is putting the blame on me for 'ending our family'. 

I just look at him and say "if that is how you want to look at it , that's fine...as long as i know the truth it's all good' 

Oh..and literally the day after i told him i was no longer willing to work things out ...he asked me to get a babysitter so we could go to a movie that weekend...i couldn't help but lmao ..

Here is the thing to remember ..when a man only want's you when he can't have you...he is not the right man for you.

[marie2409]

He didn't really want you back. Just wanted to see if he could get you back. It was an ego thing.

I really mean no offense to you in saying that, really. I lived an on again off again marriage for almost ten years.

What do YOU want to do? Are you still in love with him?

I have found thru my experience as well as friends going through it, that it has to really be over in your heart and mind, otherwise his promises will lure you back every time. Once it is truely over for you, his words/actions will mean nothing.

Get an apartment. Get legally separated so he knows you are serious. Wither follow through with a divorce, or do more counseling but DON'T move back in for a long time, if ever. It will do wonders for your self esteem to KNOW you can make it on your own.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I just called his work to see if he is coming home for dinner, he isn't there and isn't answering his phone.
My heart is breaking over this. How can he be this cold?