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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do you think about other people during sex?

In a post earlier this rude woman quoted me and said "As long as his dicks in ME I don't care who he thinks about" and I found that really sad .. cause if she didn't realize .. in his mind his dicks in whoever he's thinking about .

Have you ever thought about anyone that's not your partner while having sex?  If I was able to find out if my SO thought about other girls while having sex with me I would be heartbroken .. I don't know how anybody could be okay with that .. While he's having sex with me I expect him to be thinking about me. 

by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 6:18 AM
Replies (31-39):
JeffsLover4Ever
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:42 AM

I don't think men can multi task their thoughts enough to be able to look at you AND imagine someone else haha especially during sex .. I'm pretty sure all they can think about is the feeling and control lol 

Quoting samurai_chica:

No....not other people. But, i have thought of other scenerios...like, my husband is really a stranger that i picked up at the park...and weird stuff like that...lol...but, it's still always my husband :)

I have no idea if he thinks of other women. I highly doubt he does...he's not really the imiginative type. Plus, he likes to look at me. I think it would be hard to imagine i am someone else when he is staring right at my face...lol...


JeffsLover4Ever
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:48 AM

I don't want to have control over my SO's mind.  I don't think I said anything indicating that I did.  

I stick by what I said that if your partner is imagining somebody else while having sex with you .. basically he's using your body with a different face pasted on it in his imagination.  I think fantasy is healthy but in my case I fantasize about doing different things with my SO.. not a celebrity or old high school crush or guy I met at the bank.  Fantasy is healthy because it is what keeps sparks flying in the bedroom but fantasizing about cheating, which is exactly about what thinking about someone else during sex is, is the doorway to doing it physically.  At least in my opinion .. If you and whoever else find it okay then fine but to me I just think that my body would associate someone else with the pleasure if I was to fantasize about someone else and then make me want more from that someone else when really it is my SO that I should keep those thoughts associated with and that is how I like it. 

Quoting girl_incognito:

Fantasies are normal and natural. I don't agree with your theory at all.

Yes i fantasize, but not about one person in particular. My husband and I talk about our fantasies as well.

You have to understand you can not control his mind.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:53 AM
I understand. I know I'd be hurt if I knew.

Quoting JeffsLover4Ever:

Ikr?!  It's sad that it's "normal" to fantasize IN the bedroom.. What's there to fantasize about when everything you should want/need is RIGHT in front of you.  =/


Quoting Anonymous:

Ppl fantasize...its normal. Good thing you can't read your spouses mind huh? Lol


ripemango
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:56 AM
1 mom liked this

LoL love it!

Quoting I_luv_my_boys3:

Yes, I fantasize about being with Pitbull but we all know that'll never happen LOL...



I don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlights begin; it's all a mystery.

girl_incognito
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 1:25 PM

1. Fantasies are not cheating. Just because you don't think a certain way doesn't make it wrong for someone else to think about it. It's actually pretty normal for adults to have sexual fantasies about people they will never ever be with or about scenarios they will never ever do. That's why it's called a fantasy.

2. Everything you just typed indicates you want to control what's on his mind.

3. You will never know your husband's true uninhibited fantasies if you put boundaries on them. He will hold back from you for fear you will be upset. Not saying he in fact has fantasies about other people, but he will not clearly know what fantasies of his will be considered cheating in your eyes. (no threesome fantasies for him!) 

Quoting JeffsLover4Ever:

I don't want to have control over my SO's mind.  I don't think I said anything indicating that I did.  

I stick by what I said that if your partner is imagining somebody else while having sex with you .. basically he's using your body with a different face pasted on it in his imagination.  I think fantasy is healthy but in my case I fantasize about doing different things with my SO.. not a celebrity or old high school crush or guy I met at the bank.  Fantasy is healthy because it is what keeps sparks flying in the bedroom but fantasizing about cheating, which is exactly about what thinking about someone else during sex is, is the doorway to doing it physically.  At least in my opinion .. If you and whoever else find it okay then fine but to me I just think that my body would associate someone else with the pleasure if I was to fantasize about someone else and then make me want more from that someone else when really it is my SO that I should keep those thoughts associated with and that is how I like it. 

Quoting girl_incognito:

Fantasies are normal and natural. I don't agree with your theory at all.

Yes i fantasize, but not about one person in particular. My husband and I talk about our fantasies as well.

You have to understand you can not control his mind.




JeffsLover4Ever
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 4:38 PM

Luckily for me my SO and I talked about fantasies back when we were just friends so we had no reasons to hold back and try to shy around things we wanted in fear of hurting each others feelings.  and he has no desire for a threesome.. his ideas of exciting and fantasy is so much different and so much more revolved around one person (which is now me) instead of wanting or needing another person.  To me fantasizing about a different person is in a way cheating.  Both of our beliefs is that we only need each other and we're totally happy with that and not have a need to think about other people weather it's someone attainable or not... if we were to ever want anything else then obviously that would mean we're not happy in our relationship.  I don't have to want to control his thoughts because in trusting that he was honest with me then I know he has the same thoughts as me.  Sure we have different fantasies but none of our collective thoughts or wants has anything to do with anyone else.  

I tried to not come across as saying something was wrong for anyone else even though I probly have .. but just I don't think how if could be healthy to desire anyone but your partner.  That is just me though .. I believe that my SO is the only one for me.. that he was made a long time ago to grow into the person that he is to be given to me at the part of my life that I met him and we got together because he is perfect for me in every single way including sexually so he is all I have ever needed to fantasize about.  But anyone else can feel free to let their freak flags fly and fantasize about three somes or celebrities or the hott girl/guy they seen on their way to work .. just I'm thankful that my relationship is the way that it is.   

Quoting girl_incognito:

1. Fantasies are not cheating. Just because you don't think a certain way doesn't make it wrong for someone else to think about it. It's actually pretty normal for adults to have sexual fantasies about people they will never ever be with or about scenarios they will never ever do. That's why it's called a fantasy.

2. Everything you just typed indicates you want to control what's on his mind.

3. You will never know your husband's true uninhibited fantasies if you put boundaries on them. He will hold back from you for fear you will be upset. Not saying he in fact has fantasies about other people, but he will not clearly know what fantasies of his will be considered cheating in your eyes. (no threesome fantasies for him!) 

Quoting JeffsLover4Ever:

I don't want to have control over my SO's mind.  I don't think I said anything indicating that I did.  

I stick by what I said that if your partner is imagining somebody else while having sex with you .. basically he's using your body with a different face pasted on it in his imagination.  I think fantasy is healthy but in my case I fantasize about doing different things with my SO.. not a celebrity or old high school crush or guy I met at the bank.  Fantasy is healthy because it is what keeps sparks flying in the bedroom but fantasizing about cheating, which is exactly about what thinking about someone else during sex is, is the doorway to doing it physically.  At least in my opinion .. If you and whoever else find it okay then fine but to me I just think that my body would associate someone else with the pleasure if I was to fantasize about someone else and then make me want more from that someone else when really it is my SO that I should keep those thoughts associated with and that is how I like it. 

Quoting girl_incognito:

Fantasies are normal and natural. I don't agree with your theory at all.

Yes i fantasize, but not about one person in particular. My husband and I talk about our fantasies as well.

You have to understand you can not control his mind.





Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jul. 23, 2012 at 4:39 PM
Yep, sometimes.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jul. 23, 2012 at 4:39 PM

no,concentrating on trying to get to the big o

beeonit
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 4:42 PM
No, because I am way into what HE is actually doing for me
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