Please tell me I'm just being selfish and I need to get over this :/
For the last three months I've been having heart palpitations and anxiety attacks. They happen almost on a daily basis or every other day. Twice now my HR has reached around 170 bpm. Last Friday I had an anxiety attack while washing the dishes that almost caused me to black out and I had to call DH to calm me down. I was physically shaking and felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.
Well, last Friday, one of DH's old co-workers/managers died. He worked with the guy for four or five years and has known him since he was 7. They never hung out though. He was never a 'close' friend of the family. No bar-b-ques, no get-togethers, no Thanksgiving, no Christmas.... nothing. He never saw this guy outside of where he worked/hung out as a kid. The last time he saw him was a couple of years ago. He's all devastated about his death and even though we don't have the money, he called his mom and his mom bought him a $600 plane ticket to fly down there for 3 days/2 nights to go to the funeral.
I'm all worked up over this. I don't want to be alone for 3 days/2 nights while he's in a completely different state 2,000+ miles away. I'm having heart problems, anxiety problems, and awaiting the results of a 24 hr Holter monitor test. Just thinking about being by myself with the kids is enough to send me into panic mode. I literally have no one else up here besides my DH. I had one "friend" but she's on vacation.
I mean, what can I do? (rhetorical question) The plane ticket has already been bought. I told Dh, "I would rather you go and risk my health and safety then for you to stay and resent me for years to come for you not being able to go to the funeral because of my health." He said, "Thanks. It means a lot to me that you're letting me go." :/
Am I wrong here?