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money issues in a relationship

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

do you think there's money issues in a relationship, when one has money and the other doesnt? this isnt a marriage either- just boyfriend/girlfriend long term (although no attachments- no kids together, etc)

i'm beginning to become RESENTFUL that BF never has his own money. for dates, i have to pay for it, or when he did/does have a job, we put $20 in an envelope and use it for date nights (date nights were usually semi-cheap and in the end, he'd pocket the rest of the money, even if there was over $20 left!)

i went into my wallet the other day... my son sold a few of his toys and clothes. got $14 back. he's saving it for some Lego set (i've gotten him plenty- he leaves it out so i put them away... i'm done buying him stuff that he doesnt take care of. this way, if he buys it, he'll hopefully put in the work to clean it up)... anyways! looked in my wallet- there was only $8 left... mkay. i give up $6 of mine to make up for whats lost... looked in my wallet yesterday- and boom, DS only has $1 out of $14... most likely, i'll just give him the $20 that i have in my wallet and call it a day- but i personally feel like its stealing from a child.

i really dont have money to give to my kid like that- the $20 is supposed to be for a work event next week- now, i might not be able to attend. he's racked up $200 on the credit card that i had paid off. will he pay it off? no., it'll fall on me again. it takes almost 3 months to get an extra $200 to just put on a credit card!


EDIT/ANSWERING QUESTIONS... i cant remember all the questions, but the main ones-- why dont i leave him now... b/c technically, he has no place to go. literally. he cant move back in with his parents- his mom has a business, where only the people who was there when she registered for the business is allowed to live there... i cannot tell someone to go live out on the streets like that. i cant- its inhumane. i cant imagine him- or anyone sleeping in their car, or on the park bench b/c they have no where to go... yes, bleeding heart and if i knew the person- i'd invite ANYONE into my home, in order so they dont sleep outside.. in actuality, that's part of my dream career; getting a homeless shelter set up to where i am aiding those who need/want the help so they can help themselves.

he was laid off from his job in the beginning of summer (end of May). he tried endlessly to get employment- yes, even Mcdonalds, even walmart. he finally landed a job b/c one of his friends work there. thats teh ONLY reason he has this job now... and unlike his previous employment, this is an actual business (opposed to warehousing), so to those who said he doesnt NEED the clothes- yea, he did. if he wants to keep this job, he has to look professional- which includes the slacks, the button down shirts, the ties.

my plan is to get MY ducks in a row in a month's time- new employment for myself, and getting a sitter for after the daycare closes. in that month's time, he will have gotten 2 paychecks and he should be able to afford his own place. before he was laid off, he was NOT like this. this isnt something that i've been dealing with for the last FIVE years- this is just the last month and a half.

the credit card.. the first time it was racked up- it was ME who did it... i had just paid it off only 3 days before he put charges on it. will it pay it off? most likely not. he says that he will, that he'll put $100/month on it until its paid off... but right now, i cant trust it. its on MY credit. i need/want it paid off ASAP.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2012 at 5:47 PM
Replies (31-40):
raye-chan
by Raye on Jul. 24, 2012 at 7:08 PM

I would call it quits there. He knows you'll keep paying for it and he'll keep doing it. So unless you want to deal with theft the entire relationship, I'd be calling it quits now. He's taking advantage of you and will keep doing so. And even if he does get this job and manages to keep it, the money issue is only going to get worse. Had some experience with that with my ex. -____- If you think it's bad now, it'll only get worse later on. 

KCayea
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 7:09 PM

its not shallow to expect a man to take care of his busness on his own before your married! i'm not going to take care of a man. now if were married and something happends thats fine. but he better be working damn hard to pull his end. and such

girlywifey
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 7:13 PM

He is using you and stealing from a child is unforgivable. He sounds like a loser.

jenn31
by Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 7:17 PM

i would of dump him

Sunshine2plus2
by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 7:18 PM

 I would but a stop to that real fast!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2012 at 7:27 PM

This

Quoting Anonymous:

It doesn't sound like "money issues" is really the core of the problem.  It sounds like he is perfectly happy to take advantage of you.  Why are you perfectly happy to allow him to do that? 


Luna091306
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 7:39 PM

 Wow.....

It's not the issue that you have money and he doesn't...it's the fact he is being a completely disrespectful with your money. Df makes quite a bit more than me but we pool our money together. We both ask the other before we spend anything. I won't go into his wallet without asking and he does the same for me. That's just fucking rude imo.

othermom
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 7:51 PM

I would be pissed

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Jul. 24, 2012 at 7:51 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

It doesn't sound like "money issues" is really the core of the problem.  It sounds like he is perfectly happy to take advantage of you.  Why are you perfectly happy to allow him to do that? 

 This

incognito116
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 7:55 PM


Quoting girlywifey:

He is using you and stealing from a child is unforgivable. He sounds like a loser.

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