Husband in denial over autism in child

[Anonymous]

I have a beautiful dd who just turned 3. My dh and i after months of discussions took her to her ped to be screened for autism. She has alot of the markers for it and her ped wants herbto go to a specialist for diagnosis.

After the appt my dh got upset and said that nothing is wrong with her and doesnt want to do further testing. He is normally very calm and rational personnwho doesnt upset easily. He was ok until after the appt.

Idk what to do. I adore my dd. For a long time i wanted to get her looked at but kept denying there were issues, but shes 3 and if you ask her avquestion she doesnt respond she copies your question. She talks alot to you but it s not a back and forth convo. Shes done the hand flapping since i can remember. She is very sensitive to sound and gets quite upset at noise. There are more things, these are just a few.


I just want my dd to get help. There is a disconnect with her commuication. I just dont know what to do. I dont want to label her but if she has issues, we want to address them to help her.

[Anonymous]

Don't let your child suffer because your husband is in denial.

Take her to the specialist anyway.

He will come around

[mommyladnad]

The sooner you get her evaluated and diagnosed, the sooner she can start therapy and get help. Don't wait! There is so much that can be done for her and the younger she is when she starts, the more progress she will make. Waiting will only make it worse. He will come around eventually. 

[Anonymous]

*hugs*

My son is getting his eval. It is very hard to take in. I haven't even cried yet. I love him just the same but this hurts.

Maybe dh is hurt over it? Maybe ask him how he feels and what he worries about? I agree that your dd needs to continue being evaluated. The sooner she gets help the better.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Yeah i cried one night a family friend is a special ed teacher and she brought it up to me that she thought something was wrong. I used to work with special needs but not nearly as young as dd. yeah you start to think your crazy. I love her so much i just want to do anything i can for her.

[gizzo]

I think he's scared for her and doesn't want to face it. I think he will come around if you show him that this may not be as bad as he probably thinks it is. Perhaps he doesn't want his little girl labeled or be treated differently because she has autism.

[Anonymous]

Take her to the specialist, if she is diagnosed, she will still be your same little girl. You'll just know what is going on and have more options to help her progress.
Our DD was diagnosed pdd-nos at 2 years old, we left the specialist with the same princess we walked in with, but also had a direction to go get her help.

[Beautiful31mom]

Quoting gizzo:

I think he's scared for her and doesn't want to face it. I think he will come around if you show him that this may not be as bad as he probably thinks it is. Perhaps he doesn't want his little girl labeled or be treated differently because she has autism.

this. 

[Anonymous]

I can understand his fear, it's hard to accept that there might be something wrong with your child but she needs to be evaluated and if she is autistic she needs early intervention.

[Anonymous]

If she has autism, you are better off having her diagnosed young and starting treatment asap. The older she gets the more you will notice the differences between her and her peers. Our DD has made amazing progress over the last 3 years, but she is still behind her peers.

Quoting gizzo:

I think he's scared for her and doesn't want to face it. I think he will come around if you show him that this may not be as bad as he probably thinks it is. Perhaps he doesn't want his little girl labeled or be treated differently because she has autism.

[calusari]

I understand how difficult it is when you first receive the diagnosis. Our son is 6 and moderately autistic; he was diagnosed when he was 3.

Tell your husband that denying it isn't going to change anything, and it will just make things harder for your daughter. Follow up on the diagnosis, find out what services are available for your daughter...you'll be amazed at the progress she can make!

Our son didn't talk much at all when he was first diagnosed; he mostly repeated things that he had heard on tv, in a loop. Then he started speech therapy, and now he talks almost conversationally! Not at the rate that other 6 year olds are, but he is certainly developing.

Good luck to you.