19 Year Old Daughter got her self in a world of trouble! ***EDIT***EDIT 2***UPDATE 3***
Three months ago my 19 year old was fired from her job at Kmart. She told me it was because she made a mistake on a transaction with a customer. I did not think much of it and got right to her helping her find a new job. She went to multiple interviews but could never seam to get any of the jobs. I just told her to keep trying. Well tonight she was on our back porch which is right next to the my DH's office and it was really nice outside so we had the windows open. She had gone outside to speak with a friend and I happened to be on the computer paying some bills working on our monthly budget when I over heard the conversation she was having. She was telling a friend that she missed her court date and that she had looked up her information on the local court site (we live in Mesa AZ) and it said she had an active warrant out for her arrest. I was in shock, thinking I dont understand what she could have done to get herself in the position to have a warrant.
I pulled DH aside and spoke with him about what I had heard and asked him what he thought we should do. I certaintly could not act as if I had not heard this. I know she is an adult and she needs to deal with this on her own but I feel I also have the right to know what is going on because I provide the things she needs and pay her college tuiton and all of that. DH said that he felt we needed to sit her down and get down to the bottom of what was going on.
Later on in the evening I pulled her aside and sat her down. I told her that I had over heard the conversation she was having with her friend, she of course was upset and said I was invading her privacy and said that I had no right to listen in on converstaions of hers because she is an ADULT. I clearly and calmly told her that she lives under her roof and we need to know things like this. So she then proceeded to tell us
DD: Remember when i got fired from Kmart, and I told you it was over a transaction I messed up on?
DD: Well I lied about that. What really happened was i was low on cash and stole 50 dollars out of my drawer. They saw it on camera and fired me, trespassed me from the property and called the cops.I went to my first court date, where I pleaded not guilty and they set a pre trial conference but I didnt go and never rescheduled so they put a warrant out of my arrest.
Me: When was this conference?
DD: June 5th
There was much more to the conversation but thats the main point of it right there.
Im immediently thinking OH MY GOD!!!!! So now she has a warrant out for her arrest and doesnt know what to do. This I guess is what has been affecting her getting a job. I am so dissapointed in her and here I am not able to sleep with a million things running through my mind. She says she is going to call the court house and get it resolved so that she doesnt get arrested. Im really worried cause I dont know what is going to happen.
Does anyone know if once she goes to see the Judge if they will drop the warrant or if they will arrest her there on the spot? Can someone please put my mind at ease.
It is a Failure To Appear Warrant
Thank You everyone for the advice, I looked at her Court Docket again and it says she has an active warrant. I also did some research online and it says to 1. Call a Lawyer which of course makes sense so since we dont have much money we will be calling to speak with the Public Defenders Office. I also came across the section on warrants on our municiple court site that says if you have a out standing warrant you can come into the court house and the court staff will help you resolve the issue. So I will be getting her up in just a few minutes to get ready and i will be driving her down there to start the process of dealing with this. I also read that she can be put on the walk in docket to speak with a judge. If she needs to pay off the bond to have her warrant revoked then I dont know what she will do, she will have to come up with the money some how because our family does are already on a tight budget and do not have the money for this type of thing. It does say to come in early, before 8 am. So I am thinking they are going to book her an put her in front of a judge.
I called the court house and asked what she needed to do. They said she needed to come to the court house with Identification to the Information desk and let them know she has a warrant and they are going to be booking her but will not be arresting her since she will be turning herself in and will allow her to see a judge sometime today. So we will be leaving to do that soon. I will update once I get home on what she will be needing to do and what her consequences for her actions are.
Sorry it has been a few days since I updated. As it said in my last update I was taking her to the Court House to get this all taken care of, but she ended up taking off with a friend before that even happened. She text me and told me that she could not do it, that she was scared and so on and so forth and that she was going to be moving out because she is an ADULT and she can make her own choices in life. I tried to urge her to go and explain to her that she was going to ruin her future and she proceeded to tell me to stop telling her how to control her life. So I told her well if that is what she wants then she can be an adult on her own. I told her that was fine if she was gonna move out because I refuse to let her live under my roof if she refuses to get this taken care of. I dont care if anyone says I'm being harsh I am doing what I feel is best. I told her I will not be paying for her college that she will have to figure something out and that when she gets caught up in the consequences of all this because she didnt wanna take responsibilities for her action then she will have to figure it out on her own, that her father and I will not be there to bail her out. I was willing to help her out with this but now I am not. If she wants to be an adult so bad then she can do it on her own, which includes all the responisbilities that come with being an adult and boy is she in for it! I'm not the happiest momma right now. I feel horrible about all of this but will stand by my decision in hopes that she learns a valuable lesson from all of this. My heart is breaking, thinking that I did something wrong as a mother but I dont know what it could have been. I have a lot going through my mind. If anything changes I will update, but I think everything is pretty much at a stand still for now. Just hoping she will learn a Lesson.