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I'm feeling so f****** stupid right now......

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have been dealing with an affair that my husband had a few years back and its been super hard as far as trusting him again and trying to figure out if my marriage is salvagable. So, the other day he asks me to delete his voicemails which I had no problem doing. He has some really immature friends (male) that fill up his inbox at times and leave stupid messages. Majority of the messages were these friends but I came across one from some female. I didn't recognize the voice or the number and she said that it was too bad he couldn't make it out that night and that she hoped he was having as much fun as her. She was referencing a strip club too. I felt so sick to my stomach....I asked him about it and he goes on this tangent about how I'm not doing anything to make him feel loved and how Im not doing anything right....I feel so stupid for trying to make this work....I should have walked away a long time ago....feeling so hurt and don't know what to do anymore.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 25, 2012 at 11:42 AM
Replies (11-20):
Cheribomb
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2012 at 11:51 AM

ugh...what a dick...  i rarely say this but time to walk away,  he wont change.  i think a marriage can get past one affair but not multiple affairs.   

GinasMommy412
by on Jul. 25, 2012 at 11:51 AM
I'm sorry.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2012 at 11:54 AM

I'm afraid to admit he wont change either. Its one thing if I was still working on getting past the first one....but this is just too much.

Quoting Cheribomb:

ugh...what a dick...  i rarely say this but time to walk away,  he wont change.  i think a marriage can get past one affair but not multiple affairs.   


Haley947
by on Jul. 25, 2012 at 11:55 AM

I'm really sorry it's always the good women men screw over.That's what they all say when they've been caught,trying to blame it on the person that's done nothing but  be good to them.I will never understand why people cheat.If he's done it once and still hasn't learned then I don't know that he ever will.Theres NO excuse for it.Your better then that,you deserve way better!!

Quoting Anonymous:

I give him beautiful children, I stay by his side when everyone else walks out on him...and this is how I get treated....unreal...


CorpCityGrl
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2012 at 11:55 AM

I'm so sorry.  *hug*

You walk away.  He's trying to put the responsibility on you and trying to make you feel bad for him, but do not fall for it.  He's an adult and needs to act like one but you should not have to be subject to this nor be disrespected in this way.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 25, 2012 at 12:00 PM

What an ass. So typical to instantly deflect and try to blame you because he got caught cheating. Are you leaving? I hope so.

Cheribomb
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2012 at 12:03 PM

no i don't think he will :(  is there anywhere you can go?  you definitely need to be away from him & the kids if possible.  you need time to digest & think about it all.  

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm afraid to admit he wont change either. Its one thing if I was still working on getting past the first one....but this is just too much.

Quoting Cheribomb:

ugh...what a dick...  i rarely say this but time to walk away,  he wont change.  i think a marriage can get past one affair but not multiple affairs.   



Wydowness
by Kusabi on Jul. 25, 2012 at 12:06 PM
I'm so sorry momma. Time to leave his ass, you deserve better
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2012 at 12:12 PM

Not really....my family lives pretty far away and all thats around us is his friends. I"ve been a sahm for years and don't have a job or any money saved up....anytime I show any interest in wanting a divorce or separation he throws the money card in  my face and refuses things for me and the kids....took me a while to realize it but he is very abusive emotionally and financially. So pissed that I was that naive to figure it out sooner...

Quoting Cheribomb:

no i don't think he will :(  is there anywhere you can go?  you definitely need to be away from him & the kids if possible.  you need time to digest & think about it all.  

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm afraid to admit he wont change either. Its one thing if I was still working on getting past the first one....but this is just too much.

Quoting Cheribomb:

ugh...what a dick...  i rarely say this but time to walk away,  he wont change.  i think a marriage can get past one affair but not multiple affairs.   




Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2012 at 12:14 PM

I want to leave so bad...I have no money, no job, nothing to my name really and no way to support my kids as of now. I have been trying to devise a plan and set a goal of when I want to be gone by. His initial affair nearly killed me emotionally and I stopped taking care of myself for almost a year...I can't do that to my kids again. I ended up so sick in the hospital from the devastation...

Quoting Anonymous:

What an ass. So typical to instantly deflect and try to blame you because he got caught cheating. Are you leaving? I hope so.


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