Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why are people always like Wahhhhhhhhhh my dh has to pay child support for the other kids!

Posted by   + Show Post

I just don't get it.  I don't understand.  Why would you be upset that you married a man who isn't taking care of his kids financially?  Obviously there will be consequences to his actions and by marrying him, you (unfortunately) will have to also pay the price.  But, if the rolls were reversed, wouldn't you want your ex to pay child support??  Sure, your husband can just NOT work, but it will catch up with him and his future wages and tax returns will be garnished. 

Please help me understand.  








                                              You know you want it

 

by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 1:43 PM
Replies (391-393):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 48 on Jul. 30, 2012 at 3:00 AM
Not at all! They aren't doing very good if they don't investigate all this stuff and where the money goes. That's y so many of these children end up hungry and not well taken care of. I mean I know there are some mothers who use this money on their kids but for the mothers who don't care enough about their children it's ridiculous. And on top she's not friendly at all and has caused nothing but problems.


Quoting rcullens:

 


Quoting Anonymous:


My fiance pays child support and I don't have a problem with it at all! The thing I have a problem with is when we hear from the kids that their mom is using the money on her new boyfriends and on herself not them. But yet when we go and tell the caseworker what we hear they say they can not do anything about it! That's ridiculous that they won't investigate it when that money is supposed to be for the kids not for her!


 I thought the same thing. I was told that the money is for the mother, not the kid. She can do what ever she wants with it. Does not seem fair, does it?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 52 on Jul. 30, 2012 at 5:03 AM
1 mom liked this

It isn't always as easy as waaaaa he has to pay.

When my husband and I met he did not have any kids.  The mother decided to not tell him the child existed until they were almost two.  By that time we were engaged and preparing for our wedding.  She called his parents house one day when she had the child years before and said she had his child but hung up without leaving a return number.  He tried to find her but couldn't (before Internet searches), and because she "claimed" she was on the pill and they used a condom he thought it was a joke since she never came around again.

She was on welfare the whole time so the child support from day 1 and the birth were put on his tab to the amount of $13,000 so he could pay back what welfare paid out.  He had no idea the child existed and he still had to pay for it.  It took us 5 years to pay everything back, they took almost $900 a month with the back payments included in and all of our tax returns.

He now pays almost $700 a month for one child and the mother still tries to get more.  She makes sure everytime she is up for a modification she tries to get more, not once have we tried to get it lowered.  She puts the medical bills in his name even though we provide full insurance for the child, all she has to pay is the small co-pay and she refuses to do so even though it is court ordered, yet she can buy expensive clothes and purses for herself.

So no, I did not know he had a child but I dealt with it.  I have even paid the actual child support myself when he was injured and couldn't.  BUT I am sick of her complaining she doesn't get enough.  I'm sorry but $700 is enough for one child.  I have to work to help support my own kids is it too much to ask she does the same?

Burt929
by on Aug. 1, 2012 at 8:57 AM
My dh does not pay child support, I am great friends with his ex wife, they have 1 child together. We are not court ordered to pay child support & she has never filed. But on rare cases, this is why: he's a great father to both our son and daughter from his past marriage. Pays for all sports, sport clothing, private schooling, we get her equally every week & alternate every wkend. Fixes her car, for free. Fixes anything that so happens to break at her home. Gives her a lil bit of extra money so she can take dd out for the day. So as you can see, there are great fathers out there even though they may not be ordered to pay child support; maybe more men should be like mine & suck it up, you had a child...& mostly, he LOVES his children, so why wouldn't any father want to see them live well in a happy & healthy living environment with great parents that get along on both ends.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)