My post was removed earlier...Edited for you people that didn't see it earlier
Posted by Anonymous
- 96 Replies
And I didn't get to see the outcome because mommy duties called so can someone fill me in?
I posted earlier about my 19 yo dd hitting my adopted 2 yo son. DH finally came home and we all went out to dinner to talk about our situation. We asked dd if she held any resentment about us adopting the baby and she said no. She said she just get mad when he touches her stuff but she's glad that he's around. She got really emotional and told us that she likes the fact that were raising him to be her brother because she don't have to live her life wondering what ever came of him and she can also be a big factor in his life even if she isn't his mom. We all came to an agreement that it would be best if she moved out and had her own space as well as a chance to flap her wings. We decided that we would get her an apartment and pay the rent as well as utilities for 1 year. We will also carry renters insurance on her apartment and give her $100 a week for food, household and hygene items. We will pay for Internet for her because she is going to college online and has To have it but we will not pay for cable or other luxuries. If she wants that she can get a part time job. When that year is up she is to have a stable job where she will be able to pay for atleast half of her bills until college Is over ad she can work full time. We will get her a little used car and also pay her insurance for her. We will only give her $20 a week for gas. If she does not carry her end of the bargain that is when we will cut the cord until she figures out that she cant just live off of our money the rest of her life.I know it's a lot but this is my kid and I think this will give her a chance to grow up and have some sort of responsibility. Mommy can't be there all the time...especially when I have other obligations one being my son and other daughter.She is excited about getting her own place so I think this may be really good for her.
Backstory: my daughter got pregnant when she was 17. I told her she had options and I would support her 100% on whether or not she wanted an abortion or if she wanted to keep the baby. I was strongly encouraging abortion because she is very immature and I knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. She said from the start that she wanted to keep the baby. Well one week after the baby was born she started saying that she didn't want the baby because it was too much work. I did most of the work anyways so me, DH, and her little sister decided that since she wanted to put him up for adoption we would adopt him and he would still be part of the family. Dd was okay with that. She thought it was a great idea and I don't take it back for one minute because that boy is the light of my life. I know you can't force someone to be a mother (ex Casey Anthony) so I took on full responsibility to this baby. He calls me mom and her Ellie. When he is old enough to understand we will explain the situation to him but for now he's just a happy toddler.
Today he got her cell phone and dropped it. She smacked him on the leg and screamed in his face and that did not sit well with me at all. I decided she has to go but has nowhere to go. I admit it's our fault she's spoiled but we can't just throw her out on the street without a job. We're giving her 1 year to learn to do for herself and if she does we will pay half her bills so she can finish college. If she don't tht is when we will "cut the cord" and she will hve to e responsible. She knows all of this and I am serious she is not moving back in with us after being abusive to her baby brother.
I got seriously bashed earlier because people were saying I took her baby and I was a heartless bitch for throwing her out. That siblings will fight...my point is that he's 19 and he is 2...she is not to touch him in an angry manner let alone scream in his face. That's why I want her out.
Sorry for spelling errors I am mobile
I posted earlier about my 19 yo dd hitting my adopted 2 yo son. DH finally came home and we all went out to dinner to talk about our situation. We asked dd if she held any resentment about us adopting the baby and she said no. She said she just get mad when he touches her stuff but she's glad that he's around. She got really emotional and told us that she likes the fact that were raising him to be her brother because she don't have to live her life wondering what ever came of him and she can also be a big factor in his life even if she isn't his mom. We all came to an agreement that it would be best if she moved out and had her own space as well as a chance to flap her wings. We decided that we would get her an apartment and pay the rent as well as utilities for 1 year. We will also carry renters insurance on her apartment and give her $100 a week for food, household and hygene items. We will pay for Internet for her because she is going to college online and has To have it but we will not pay for cable or other luxuries. If she wants that she can get a part time job. When that year is up she is to have a stable job where she will be able to pay for atleast half of her bills until college Is over ad she can work full time. We will get her a little used car and also pay her insurance for her. We will only give her $20 a week for gas. If she does not carry her end of the bargain that is when we will cut the cord until she figures out that she cant just live off of our money the rest of her life.I know it's a lot but this is my kid and I think this will give her a chance to grow up and have some sort of responsibility. Mommy can't be there all the time...especially when I have other obligations one being my son and other daughter.She is excited about getting her own place so I think this may be really good for her.
Backstory: my daughter got pregnant when she was 17. I told her she had options and I would support her 100% on whether or not she wanted an abortion or if she wanted to keep the baby. I was strongly encouraging abortion because she is very immature and I knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. She said from the start that she wanted to keep the baby. Well one week after the baby was born she started saying that she didn't want the baby because it was too much work. I did most of the work anyways so me, DH, and her little sister decided that since she wanted to put him up for adoption we would adopt him and he would still be part of the family. Dd was okay with that. She thought it was a great idea and I don't take it back for one minute because that boy is the light of my life. I know you can't force someone to be a mother (ex Casey Anthony) so I took on full responsibility to this baby. He calls me mom and her Ellie. When he is old enough to understand we will explain the situation to him but for now he's just a happy toddler.
Today he got her cell phone and dropped it. She smacked him on the leg and screamed in his face and that did not sit well with me at all. I decided she has to go but has nowhere to go. I admit it's our fault she's spoiled but we can't just throw her out on the street without a job. We're giving her 1 year to learn to do for herself and if she does we will pay half her bills so she can finish college. If she don't tht is when we will "cut the cord" and she will hve to e responsible. She knows all of this and I am serious she is not moving back in with us after being abusive to her baby brother.
I got seriously bashed earlier because people were saying I took her baby and I was a heartless bitch for throwing her out. That siblings will fight...my point is that he's 19 and he is 2...she is not to touch him in an angry manner let alone scream in his face. That's why I want her out.
Sorry for spelling errors I am mobile
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 29, 2012 at 9:10 PM
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by
Gold Member
on Jul. 30, 2012 at 4:49 PM
oh i just got to this and i say that you are doin something amazing for your kids (all 3 of them) and you are being very generous by paying everything for her to live outside of your home... good luck keeping the peace and taking care of your family
by
Silver Member
on Jul. 30, 2012 at 5:02 PM
Eh.. I guess if it works for u.. Bt that's definitely too much, especially over ONE incident. Of course she wouldn't argue with u, she gets it all for a year..
Unfortunately with ur "guilt", it probably won't end at 1 year.. U'll be supporting that girl for long after that. *sigh*
Unfortunately with ur "guilt", it probably won't end at 1 year.. U'll be supporting that girl for long after that. *sigh*
by Anonymous
on Jul. 30, 2012 at 5:04 PM
You encourage that kind of bullshit behavior? Oh good lord ...
and yes, you're right - it IS your fault she's a spoiled brat.
However, you could put her out so that she can learn to stand on her own two feet - in fact, it would probably be the best thing you have ever done for her.
by
Platinum Member
on Jul. 30, 2012 at 5:05 PM
So she hit your son and now you're getting her an apartment? Awesome.
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are you ok with another woman calling your husband "hun" or "babe"