I have to get this out. Just venting.

[Anonymous]

So, my husband's brother's wife is pregnant.  She's due mid-September.  Most of her life, she's dealt with high blood pressure.  She is a very, very, very high strung person.  She stresses about everything, even cooking a meal.  Even going to bed, she stresses about.  She's also a very controlling person.  She never lets her husband do anything with his brother.  The brothers have had a great relationship, and I never once refused to let them hang out together.  She, on the other hand, has always come up with something to keep them from hanging out or even talking on the phone.  If they make plans, she will come up with something at the last minute for him to do to keep him from seeing his brother.  The same with family events, if it's her family, no problem.  He has to go to those.  However, if it's for his family, suddenly, they have this or the other thing that they just have to do at that time.  When I was pregnant with my little girl, I had to have a scheduled c-section.  They had just gotten engaged, and they knew that I was having the baby on a certain day.  It was scheduled.  They knew it.  They then planned their wedding for 3 days before I was to have the c-section.  They said it was the only time that they could have the wedding, but that was bull.  She's a teacher, she has the entire summer off.  He works for a place that will give him whatever time he wants off, whenever he wants it.  As a result of their planning the wedding so close to our child being born, my mother-in-law ended up in the hospital for a few days because of stress related blood vessels popping in her head.  She expected our mother-in-law to throw the entire wedding.  Her parents did nothing.  She yelled at my mother-in-law and her sisters that were helping (mother-in-law's sisters) on her wedding day, because they weren't setting up the reception like she wanted it to be set up.  She has to be the center of attention no matter what is going on.  Grandparents 65th anniversary.... 'oh, well, I'm pregnant, I'm having problems with the pregnancy, forgetting their anniversary, pay attention to me.'  That is her thinking.  We went on vacation with my husband's parents.  They were invited, but decided to sit it out because she was pregnant.  Well, they called my mother-in-law at least 6 times a day that I know of.  Probably more.  So, she didn't really get to enjoy the time with her grandkids on vacation.  

Now, she's getting closer to giving birth to their child.  She is in the hospital right now with high blood pressure.  She and her doctor knew that she had issues and was on blood pressure medication before she got pregnant.  When she first got pregnant, her blood pressure went done to normal, so she and the doctor decided to stop the blood pressure medication.  Well, this is her second trip to the hospital for her blood pressure shooting up.  We were supposed to have her baby shower on Saturday, so I know that she was stressing about that.  Even though my mother-in-law and I were doing everything for the shower, she still had to control it all.  So, now the shower is postponed until who knows when, because she is in the hospital.  She says that she will have to have a c-section because of her blood pressure being high.  They put her on a new medication and a beta blocker to get it down.  It has been staying down for the past couple of days.  They are saying that she will probably have to stay in the hospital until she has the baby, which is still several weeks away, unless they induce her.  She has worried about the birth from the moment she found out that she was pregnant.  She has stressed about it, asking everyone for their birth stories.  She asked me about my first one, and I wasn't going to lie to her.  My child and I almost died during that birth.  It ended with an emergency c-section.  I told her that she should really do everything possible to keep from having a c-section.  

Yes, I know that high blood pressure is not good for anyone, especially pregnant women.  My sister had it with her first.  She had pre-eclampsia and toxemia, yet she still gave birth vaginally about 6 weeks early to a very healthy little girl.  

So, she's been in the hospital since this past Wednesday.  Her husband has been spending his time off of work there with her.  Which is where he should be.  Although, he needs a break every once in a while from just sitting there watching her sleep or obsess about everything.  So, my husband was off yesterday, and he offered to come get his brother and take him out for a little while.  He was going to go around 11 yesterday morning and spend a few hours with his brother.  His brother was all for it, saying he needed to get away from the hospital for a little while.  She got mad.  Seriously, she got mad.  She is making someone come and stay with her 24/7.  If he leaves, her mom or his mom has to go stay.  So, she came up with something so that he couldn't go at that time.  Said that the doctor was going to let her go for a car ride.  Yeah, right.  I don't believe that for a second.  So, my husband went up there, and hmmmm.... what do you know?  No car ride.  Just a little ride in the wheelchair up and down the hall.  Oh, well, whatever.  The brothers did go to eat dinner together, even though she was really mad.  

I know, I know, I probably sound very petty and bitchy.  I can't help it, I see right through most of the stuff she does.  Yes, she does have the high blood pressure and I hate that she is going through that.  I'm very excited for them to have this child, and can't wait until she's here.  I know that she needs the care the hospital can give her, and that it's the best place for her.  I just wish she wouldn't try to manipulate everyone around her.  She tried to with my husband and I, but we saw through it and didn't let it happen.  She's even trying to manipulate the doctor.  I really have a feeling that the doctor will tell her that she is not to get pregnant again.  If that does happen, I know that we will hear nothing else but how much they wanted to have more than one child.  

I just had to vent.  I don't expect anyone to comment.  I certainly don't expect anyone to have anything nice to say to me, if they do comment.  

[zianneaaliyah]

Is your family passive people?  Who the hell allows people like this to disrespect them? From reading what you wrote about her, her having a child might throw her into a serious amount stress and spiral her into a depression. I would keep an eye on her. 

[insaneygolover]

I think she will figure that out in time, and everyone will just have to say "no" to babysitting. I think a night out every 2 weeks is ok, but not much more than that.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm really hoping that I'm wrong, but I see her making my brother-in-law do everything for the baby.  If he doesn't, then I see them pawning the baby off on anyone who will take her.  Just so that they can 'spend time together'.  They are married, they live in the same house, but according to her they don't ever spend any time together.  He had to give up playing games online with his brother because she wants to spend time together.  I hate to tell her, when the baby gets here, her time with her husband will be more limited than it is now.  

Quoting insaneygolover:

Wow, she sounds like a piece of work...what does your husband's brother see in her seriously? 

My sister is a bit like that, coming up with crazy stories, getting pregnant a whole bunch of times just to make sure she's the center of everything, yep, I know how you feel. 

God luck with her, I hope everything goes well with the pregnancy and she has a healthy baby, and hopefully with motherhood, she realizes she cannot control everything, and I hope for the sake of the child, that the child does get attention and she's not jelous from all the attention the baby is getting instead of her. I also bet that within the first 2 weeks of having that baby, she is going to try and have any family member take care of it but herself.