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I don't miss the baby I gave up for adoption.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I was talking to a friend about this today and told her that I do not miss the little boy I gave up for adoption. I signed the papers once he was born and left the hospital without him. I never let myself get attached and while I did love him(if I didn't, I damn sure would not have carried him for 10 months) I don't miss him. There is nothing to miss. I don't want him with me. I gave him up for a reason and I wouldn't change a thing. 

My friend got all upset saying that I sound heartless and so on and so forth but she just doesn't understand. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 31, 2012 at 2:29 AM
Replies (1041-1050):
VeroKarr
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 12:52 PM

I think you're amazing. What you did was an act of love.  :)

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting VeroKarr:

If that works for you, I understand. The fact that you're bringing this up makes me think that you do miss him.... maybe just a little bit. Some day you'll probably think about him and how does he look like now. Or maybe not. And it's fine. The important thing is that you know why you gave him up. And I applaud you for doing it and letting a family have him. Some people really want to have kids and for some reason they can't. You did a great service for somebody else. Thank you!

I won't deny the fact that I've thought of him before. The conversation I had with my friend obviously made me think of him and this post sure is making me think a lot lol. What I mean by missing him is that I have no desire to have him with me. I gave him up for a reason and I am confident in my decision, hence why I am perfectly happy that he is living his life without me, with his family. 


roosmommy101212
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 3:39 PM
i was given up for adoption. and its a mom like you i have to thank for it. what you did WAS selfless, and a family was very happy to have the lil guy. thanks :) tell your friend not to judge something she doesnt understand.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'd rather you not miss your child you so selflessly gave up for adoption than to not feel bad about aborting that same child! Atleast your son is alive and well and I'm sure he's being raised by wonderful parents who adore him!!


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 20, 2012 at 12:13 PM

That is so wonderful that your mom chose LIFE for you! I seriously cannot understand when a woman says,"Oh! I would have no problem getting an abortion! I could NEVER give my baby up for adoption! That would be too hard!" Thankfully, I've never been in a position where I've had to make a decision about giving a baby up for adoption. But I do know for a fact that I would never be able to go thru with an abortion. The guilt would eat me alive.

I know of a few people who were placed for adoption as infants. Every one of them has told me that they are so happy their mom's chose LIFE for them instead of abortion. One of my best friends DH was placed for adoption as an infant. His bio mom was a teen. He found his birth mom and they live in the same city! They have met and are very close! They have family get-togethers, go out to lunch/dinner, etc! His birth mom told him that she knew the minute she found out she was pregnant, that she was putting him up for adoption--abortion NEVER even crossed her mind--ever!

Quoting roosmommy101212:

i was given up for adoption. and its a mom like you i have to thank for it. what you did WAS selfless, and a family was very happy to have the lil guy. thanks :) tell your friend not to judge something she doesnt understand.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'd rather you not miss your child you so selflessly gave up for adoption than to not feel bad about aborting that same child! Atleast your son is alive and well and I'm sure he's being raised by wonderful parents who adore him!!


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 136 on Aug. 24, 2012 at 7:12 AM

There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own. ~Robert Brault

Anonymous
by Anonymous 176 on Aug. 27, 2012 at 2:29 AM

Why did you feel the need to share this???

jesistar6910
by on Aug. 27, 2012 at 2:31 AM

You did what you knew was best and have no regrets. Good for you. A lot of people don't have that quality.

angiepangie727
by Member on Sep. 7, 2012 at 11:20 AM

She didn't come on here to announce how much she "just utterly don't miss him."  She came here to see if anyone felt the same as her after adoption, I would imagine, or to see if her friend is wrong in calling her heartless. 

Can you miss being rich if you never have been?  Can you miss a car you never drove?  Would you miss a painting as an artist?

The point is, from the time she found out she was pregnant, she decided she was not keeping the baby.  She knew she would give it up for adoption, she wasn't ready and didn't want to be a mother at that time.  She never developed an attachment to her child because it was NEVER HER CHILD. It was a life growing inside her.  That's it.  Is a surrogate mother heartless because she "grows" a baby for another family? Nope, she is praised for her selflessness.  So, if OP said she got pregnant (her eggs, another's sperm) intending to have the child for a childless couple and is glad she did and doesn't miss the baby, wouldn't you all be giving her kudos and telling her what a wonderful thing she did for a childless couple? 

So many of you are such hypocrites!  You spew this vitirol and hatred and evil words to people who need a little understanding and then have the nerve to think you are better than them????  How dare you sit behind your computer screen and dare to judge someone who dealt with a crisis in her life the way she has?  I don't give a damn if you DID give a baby up for adoption and regret it and miss the baby, you are still NOT entitled to judge her.  The women who gave up their babies and miss them daily and wish they could have kept them are NOT the same as OP.  OP never wanted the child.  Unintentional pregnancy.  She didn't give the baby up because she couldn't keep him, times were hard, she needed to finish school, someone told her she had to, etc etc etc.  She gave him up because she didn't want to have a child.  Would it have been better for the child to be with her? Can you imagine?  The mothers who kill their kids, abuse their kids, you all scream "IF SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE A MOM SHE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN THE BABY TO A FAMILY WHO WANTED IT" don't you?  And yet you sit here and make statements intended to make OP believe she is this horrible, heartless being who probably should drown in her own tears over the child she no longer has a legal right to.  

Stop and think before you post, ladies.  You are making yourselves look bad for daring to throw stones.... be careful you don't break the glass house you are living in. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Honestly, no offense, you do sound a little heartless. But ur right some people can't (like me) understand. I guess not missing him is one thing but to get here and announce how much u just utterly don't miss him just sounds horrible. I don't and will never understand, its just my opinion


angiepangie727
by Member on Sep. 7, 2012 at 11:20 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 169 on Sep. 9, 2012 at 2:25 AM
Notice how I said its MY OPINION. I didn't even read your whole reply. But in MY OPINION I don't get it. I personally almost gave my baby up for adoption and couldn't do it because I knew I could never go without my baby. I'm not being mean I justdont get it. I wasn't bashing on her I was simply saying.


Quoting angiepangie727:

She didn't come on here to announce how much she "just utterly don't miss him."  She came here to see if anyone felt the same as her after adoption, I would imagine, or to see if her friend is wrong in calling her heartless. 


Can you miss being rich if you never have been?  Can you miss a car you never drove?  Would you miss a painting as an artist?


The point is, from the time she found out she was pregnant, she decided she was not keeping the baby.  She knew she would give it up for adoption, she wasn't ready and didn't want to be a mother at that time.  She never developed an attachment to her child because it was NEVER HER CHILD. It was a life growing inside her.  That's it.  Is a surrogate mother heartless because she "grows" a baby for another family? Nope, she is praised for her selflessness.  So, if OP said she got pregnant (her eggs, another's sperm) intending to have the child for a childless couple and is glad she did and doesn't miss the baby, wouldn't you all be giving her kudos and telling her what a wonderful thing she did for a childless couple? 


So many of you are such hypocrites!  You spew this vitirol and hatred and evil words to people who need a little understanding and then have the nerve to think you are better than them????  How dare you sit behind your computer screen and dare to judge someone who dealt with a crisis in her life the way she has?  I don't give a damn if you DID give a baby up for adoption and regret it and miss the baby, you are still NOT entitled to judge her.  The women who gave up their babies and miss them daily and wish they could have kept them are NOT the same as OP.  OP never wanted the child.  Unintentional pregnancy.  She didn't give the baby up because she couldn't keep him, times were hard, she needed to finish school, someone told her she had to, etc etc etc.  She gave him up because she didn't want to have a child.  Would it have been better for the child to be with her? Can you imagine?  The mothers who kill their kids, abuse their kids, you all scream "IF SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE A MOM SHE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN THE BABY TO A FAMILY WHO WANTED IT" don't you?  And yet you sit here and make statements intended to make OP believe she is this horrible, heartless being who probably should drown in her own tears over the child she no longer has a legal right to.  


Stop and think before you post, ladies.  You are making yourselves look bad for daring to throw stones.... be careful you don't break the glass house you are living in. 


Quoting Anonymous:

Honestly, no offense, you do sound a little heartless. But ur right some people can't (like me) understand. I guess not missing him is one thing but to get here and announce how much u just utterly don't miss him just sounds horrible. I don't and will never understand, its just my opinion



Cpdsptchgrl
by on Sep. 9, 2012 at 2:26 AM
I don't understand either.
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